Learning to be Happy Again

Calzona Review 11x 12 “The Great Pretender” 

Hahahaha.

That comprised my viewing experience of 11x12.

Hadn’t laughed this much in an episode of Grey’s in a long time. After the buckets of tears  shed last week,  this episode was  a welcome relief. 

Just a reminder that we are on board Shondaland’s emotional roller coaster, so after the “tears and sadness” level  last week,  this episode brought us to  the “fun and laughter”  level.

Let me describe this episode in two words: Refreshing. Breakthrough.

The entire episode  had most of its characters  reaching   a “breakthrough” and it  was light. Hilarious even. A feel-good episode, overall.

Here is this episode’s long  list of “Finally’s”:

Meredith finally learned to  be by herself and be her own person and loved it.

Owen and Amelia finally gave in to their feelings of vulnerability and saw endearing comfort in each other (this is fine for me until Cristina comes back at series end. Crowen forever).

Bailey aided Ben’s brother to finally  stop pretending about his sexual preference and to  come into his own and  be happy with who he really is.

Catherine finally articulated to Richard what was setting them back, saying he had to like and accept her for what she is.

Alex finally let out his true feelings and blurted out randomly that he is going  to “marry that girl” –Jo of course.

Callie finally realized she could get her game into play.

Arizona established a friendship with her mentor, and oh what a hilarious friendship this has turned out to be.

All these  breakthroughs—refreshing I must say.

Makes me very excited  to get to the next episodes and fast!

We saw a lot of Callie and Arizona  in this episode (thank goodness!) and it was pleasant to see them have FUN. Both Jessica and Sara equally stood out as they carried their comic timing to perfection.

It was heartwarming to see both Callie and Arizona have fun , although without each other. The important thing was, we saw them happy.

And the voiceover on sharing secrets and truth goes...

“Everybody has something to hide. We can’t just expose all our secrets to the world.  That’s how we get hurt. That’s how we risk hurting other people. We have to decide how much we let out. And keep the truth to ourselves. “

The "shower" scene

In Arizona’s first scene, It took me a while to remember  that she lived with Alex and Jo. And  it was amusing to see how they got along domestically.

To have her way with priority shower time because she “had rounds”, Jo bullied her way to  bath time success.  Who would stop laughing at seeing  Arizona helpless as she was, ejected from the bathroom,  as Jo used her cunning  to manipulate the shower time game. She stripped naked, and Arizona was all of  embarrassed and helpless and pissed.  This scene, from the onset, signaled that there was more funny to come in this episode.

Everyone’s getting their Freaky

Callie ribbing Mer that it was the good kind of exhausted got things rolling.

“Did you even leave the bedroom? Was he surprised? Yeah did he freak? Or did you just go straight to getting freak-ay?”

How Sara drops these hilarious  lines in her uniquely brilliant comedic manner is beyond me. Pure talent.

All the freaky talk let out what was in Callie’s inner thoughts   “Everyone’s getting freaky but me”

So here I sense that her outspokenness on her insecurity about not getting  “freaky” , was saying a lot. Comparing her state with that of others, meant that the yearning was there.  The hunger was there.  She had no one to get freaky with. And that’s sadness. But count on Callie to take it all in stride and use humor to cope with it.

Then in her convo with astounded bestie and confidante  Owen, she was transparent in her venting.

Callie: I used to be so good at one-night stands. I used to be great at them. But now, whenever I’m not watching Sofia,  I sit alone at home in my pajamas.  I want to be out of my pajamas and not  alone. 

Owen: So go, meet someone. It’s easy

Callie: Oh it’s easy. Well what do you do? What’s your line?

Owen : I don’t use lines . I’m just honest.

It was touching how Owen opened up about how he usually introduces himself and Callie’s expression was just so on point (as is all her expressions in this ep, not just in this ep but the entire season, and not just the entire season but the whole series since she started)

Callie : You’ve got game, Major Hunt

Fetal Posse in the House  #TeamFetal

How I wish we had seen more of the Herman-Arizona friendship in the past episodes. Their chemistry as friends was dynamite. It led me to think, instead of having an  overdose of drama involving Herman and Robbins in the previous episodes, we could have gotten more funny scenes with them. Geena Davis is just a fantastic actress.  Her versatility shines through in both drama and comedy.

Jessica as funny Arizona did not come unprepared. She was on point with her comical antics. Pure comic perfection. Callie is usually always most hilarious, but in this episode, Arizona was equally hilarious. Both Jessica and Sara owned this episode with their funny.

In this ep, Herman saw Arizona in a whole new light. It was a mini 'getting-to-know-you' starting from that scene where Herman was to have a scan and she was teasing Arizona about living with residents,  “You’re a  grown up. Get your own place, I need you focused here”

Oh my . This line made me think. It was actually a nice touch  to hear that casually said in this kind of scene—about  Arizona and her choices. Having Herman point that out in her infamous  tactless manner, It was indeed humorous. But it had pushed forward one thought which we had taken for granted.

Herman did have a point. Why was Arizona even living with Alex when she could very well afford to live anywhere? Easy answer. It was to emphasize her aloneness. She did not want to be alone. Simple.

Herman making light of being in a brain scan situation, dropped  her direct, humorous but tactless jabs, :

“So did Wilson climb in the shower with you?

“Was she coming on to you?”

Arizona being taken aback and tongue-tied with Herman’s funny tirades was a laugh a minute. It was really refreshing to see them having fun. We were so used to all the seriousness of the Herman-Arizona scenes. Seeing this from them was just sunshine.

Handsy Arizona

That Alex, Herman and Arizona scene was simply tops in the funny meter when they talked about the “naked resident.” This scene was hands(y) down  the funniest scene of 11x12. No pun intended.

With Arizona being put on the spot while telling Alex to tell Jo to avoid a repeat of what happened that morning,  Alex nonchalantly supplied  Herman with an ample amount  of ammunition to tease Arizona with ,

“And Robbins can get handsy with the residents. Last year, she got handsy. HR got involved, there are policies now”

Herman: Because of YOU? Robbins, that’s incredible.

Arizona: It’s NOT. Both of you, stop, okay? Alex, it’s inappropriate. She’s a resident, I’m her superior. I’m a girl who likes girls, it just puts us both in an awkward position an you should respect that

Alex: Ah I’m kinda down for whatever happens  (I’m seriously on the floor laughing my lungs out)

Arizona: I’m gonna kill you

Alex: You need to start putting on  pants around the house cause Robbins just keeps checking out your ass

Arizona: No, No, Alex…you can leave your pants on okay? Your ass is…

Herman: Fine, that’s reportable

Arizona: I hate you all. I have surgery.

Robbins simply gained new respect from Herman and it was amazing that  the more Robbins asked Alex and Herman to stop their ribbing, the more  hilarious this  scene got. She just suddenly got interesting in Herman’s eye.

Dirty Arizona

And then that time when they got to talk to each other one on one, I couldn’t resist recalling their lines:

Herman: You’re a hypocrite…You were so high and mighty when I was bossing you around…which one was it? Which resident did you sully?  …You can’t suddenly become interesting and then clam up.

Arizona: It was a year ago and she’s gone now.

Herman: Weren’t you married last year?

Arizona: Yes. No. We were broken up.

Herman: I thought you just split

Arizona: I cheated on Callie, okay?

Herman: Oh my God. How have you been hiding this from me?

Arizona: Hiding what?

Herman: The dirt. Youre dirty. And here I thought you were no fun at all.

Arizona: Stop it , I’m…

Herman: You’re a dirty dirty girl. You’re dirty.

I’m dying of laughter remembering this scene.

Arizona didn’t have a chance. To Herman, there was an added interesting dimension to Arizona. And them laughing about it together was just adorable. A new friendship was born. Sadly, we don’t know how long Herman will last on the show. To be honest, I feel it won’t be for long.

Arizona’s realization

It was touching to watch Arizona and Herman pour their souls out to each other on the “stolen” couch,  

Arizona: I used to skate around the halls of this hospital…(reminded us of her lost leg) I used to go dancing, I used to flirt and be flirted with. Now I live in a house full of naked people. All of my friends are her friends. And I have this work and I never have to go home. “

Then she heard Herman voice out her feelings, about her past and always thinking of what her ex thought, what others thought. Herman dished out very important advice: “But now, I do what I want, when I want. And it’s sweet. …to tell you Robbins, my life is so much better now that  I have nothing. I cant recommend a tumor but you should try it.“

Such poignant words that hit Arizona (and us)  right to the core--nothingness makes people appreciate what they have at the moment. That it strips away the unimportant concerns and makes one’s mind clearer on what is truly essential in life.

Seeing Arizona’s support for Herman warms my heart.

Herman : I’m gonna stay here until it’s over. Whatever that means.

Arizona: Then I’ll stay with you tonight

Arizona has that unselfish  support for a new friend. It moved me to see Arizona's sincerity to  Herman, after seeing her sincere to April in the past episodes. This woman has  much love in her heart for friends, even if she is going through her own pain.

Herman’s straight-faced  “You should know, I’m not gonna have sex with you” was enough to make me roll on the floor laughing. Count on Herman to transform  a serious situation such as having a brain scan  or talking about her brain tumor,  into something to laugh about.

A new true friendship is born…and I’m happy that it does give Arizona happiness. She has somebody to care for. I just do not know until when Herman is going to stay. They looked sad and uncertain about the impending surgery, but being happy in the moment   is the best thing to do.

Callie’s eureka moment

Callie’s encounter with her pretender patient, (who did not have enough guts to tell reject her  boyfriend who proposed marriage to her, that she pretended to  faint, causing her to fall down concrete stairs), importantly opened her mind and finally gave her that much needed push to explore the world for more happiness opportunities.

The girl, Hilary, said her boyfriend Todd was boring so she pretended to faint to make him stop talking.

This paved the  way for this Callie-Amelia conversation:   

Callie: Oh Todd’s the problem here? He cares too much, he’s willing to devote himself fully to another person. That’s a problem?

Amelia: If it makes the other person want to pass out, yeah

Callie: Well then that’s it. That’s why I can’t pick people up anymore because I don’t know how to put them back down. That’s why I have no game.

And when Amelia talked about her own challenges with her game, I couldn’t help but be struck when Callie said : “same here,  game over”

There was that feeling of submission. She had given up. She felt she had no more hope in the love and companionship department. And that was a sad state to be in.

It was funniest  seeing Callie with her  angered but oh-so-funny expressions while behind Todd,  gesturing to the patient to tell her boyfriend the truth. She had to do it right there.  But Hilary was too chicken and fake-fainted again.

Badass Callie had too much of this and decided to step in with  her signature Callie move: “Todd, what Hilary is trying to tell you is that she’s trying to break up with you. ..I’m so sorry I know that all you want is to help her but she doesn’t want that.  She doesn’t deserve it. She’s faking this right now.”

This line here is very important, as if she is talking to herself:

“Todd, you deserve someone that needs you there. You know?  Someone who needs the kind of attention  that only you can give. And it’s not gonna be Hilary okay? And it shouldn’t be. And you will be fine, without her. And it may take a while finding the right person but you will find her.  You should start looking, okay?

And Amelia chimes in “She’s right. Don’t waste another minute. Start right now.”

Now if these lines aren’t for Callie, then I don’t know what is.

Apart from the impressive display of unadulterated badassness from the Ortho Goddess (and at this moment, Love Guru), what’s  important to focus on here is the parallel situation here between Todd and Callie.

Both are loving and caring and attentive to the people they love. Callie was speaking to Todd from experience, from what she knew for sure.

She told Todd to look for someone who deserves the love and attention that he could give. And it goes the same for her. No use wasting time. They both should start right that moment.

And so, in the latter part of the ep, we saw Callie at Joe’s, and  confidently  struck  up a conversation with a handsome man, who was enthralled by  charming,  beautiful Callie.  It seemed that the sound advice cum pep talk she gave Todd, was as applicable to herself.

Seemed like it gave her more confidence to realize she deserved someone. She deserved to be happy too.

All her experiences with her patient and with co-workers  in the episode, caused her to mull over  her own situation:  Everybody was getting freaky, except her. The loneliness became too much. She was realizing her own lack of fun. She knew she had no confidence. Consistent with that scene she had with Jenna the tech rep, where she seemed to have forgotten  how attractive she was.

Here was a beautiful lady, successful, but had forgotten her own gifts. She had forgotten that she is worthy of love. Forgotten that she was valuable.  Forgotten to love herself. She was lost in the exhaustion from troubles that beset her life and marriage. One thing was sure, though, Callie did want to have fun again.

And these made her remember that she was good at these things, like one-night-stands. She was worthy. She just had to put herself out there and quit shirking from adventure. She had to go back to what she was. Callie lost herself and is now found.

And her epiphany was  because of that loving dude Todd.

Todd was her eyeopener. Todd who  showered his undying love to a person who did not want it and did not deserve it.

Both Callie and Todd  just had to find that place in life where their love will be valued. To be given love as much as they would .

But wait, I do not mean that she was less loved by Arizona. Of course not. Arizona loves her too,  so much.  It's just that circumstances led to problems that led Callie to give and give until she lost herself.

And knowing Callie-- that woman with a heart of platinum-- she deserves so much love.

Oh, yes,  she danced the night away with that handsome man. And she was happy.

On Happiness for Callie and Arizona

So all of us who still don’t want Callie to explore other opportunities for love, I’d say why don’t we want Callie to be happy?

She and Arizona had been separated for a while now. Since seven episodes ago. They are broken up.

The last thing I would want is to see  them  sulking. I’m thinking, would I rather want to see them moping about each other for ten episodes while broken up? Or emptily longing for each other when they clearly had problems with each other.

Why  can’t we  let them be happy for a change?  Even if that happiness is not with each other…for now..  Because if this episode had proven anything, it had shown us that Callie and Arizona  both started to discover their own happiness as individuals.  Solo happiness.

After certain realizations they separately had in this episode, they are discovering new things to laugh about and be cheerful for. They are learning to glory in their own gifts and own set of friends. They had not seen each other for a while but they realize they are surviving and thriving. They are not co-dependent. Because happiness was never about dependence.

Happiness was never because of a person.

This ep showed us that happiness can be found in being alone. Coming into one’s own.  It’s loving oneself first, and  through experiences,  filling up oneself  down inside,  enough to be able to share that love eventually to another.

Our baby Callie is smiling again. And that happiness reflects in her eyes. What more could we want right now?

And as a side note, it was nice to see that Callie heard points of view about love beginnings from both Owen and Amelia, both of whom had a mutual attraction. Callie was in the middle of a budding love thang.

Meanwhile our baby Arizona, who reflected on how she was during happier days, her wheelie days,  in her adorable new friendship with her mentor, is enjoying herself too. She had been a nurturing friend  (to April) and now a caring one, as she good-naturedly handles Herman’s unique humor, and supports her.

They both intimated their innermost longings to their friends,  as the closing voice-over goes..

“It’s not safe to blurt out all of our secrets. We cant just lay  all the truth out there. Expose ourselves to God and everybody. Cause once the truth is out, we have to face it ourselves.”

Moving forward

There is still that big Herman-Arizona episode next week. I’m wary because we are at the height of fun right now and roller coaster rules dictate we need to gradually be ready for a plunge in emotions.

Aside from a lot of fetal surgeries surgeries lined up by Herman for them to perform, and promo pics showing a lot of Herman and Arizona, I wonder what’s next for Arizona, after having been given advice by Herman on the appreciation of life.

And Callie, what happens next after she went dancing with that handsome man? Something was unleashed within Callie that day, let’s see what she does further.

Saw the sneak peek and hooray! It had Callie and Arizona! They were  in the same cafeteria although seated  at different tables distant from each other,  and  Callie was jealous of Arizona!

Exciting episode coming up. Just a few more days to go.

The journey continues.

Whatever happens, always remember,  It’s all good.

Twitter:

@GAFan8

Prayers and Miracles

Calzona Review 11x11  “All I Could Do was Cry”

“There’s a thing we say when someone dies. We say it to the patient’s family. We say, “Im sorry for your loss” ...It’s a pat little phrase, and an empty one. It doesn’t   begin to cover what is actually happening to them. It lets us empathize without forcing us to feel their devastation ourselves. It protects us from feeling that pain, that dark,  sinking relentless pain. The kind that can eat you alive. And everyday, I thank God for that. “

Drowning in a sea of tears, I swim to shore and try to get a hold of myself after watching the episode.

Three minutes in and I was a mess. The tears were just endless from thereon.  It was an ep that had my goose bumps and tears vying for my attention ALL THROUGHOUT.

11x11  was an episode about faith… and about hope. About miracles… and about reality. About unanswered prayers … and unexpected gifts. 

It had me at that first  top shot of Amelia lighting a candle at the chapel.  And all the other scenes of the characters having their own quiet time at the chapel. Those top shots with the  character/s, the candle rack and the Bible-- It was all  just…different..and touching.

Indulge me with my superlatives— the ep  was wonderfully  written by Elizabeth J.B. Klaviter, and brilliantly directed by Ron Underwood.  Supremely awed by the performances of the whole ensemble  cast and mostly touched by the magnificent  scenes by the episode’s central characters, Jesse Williams, Sarah Drew and Caterina Scorsone.

Sometimes,  a perfect episode happens, and this is it.  It has got to be one of the best eps of Grey’s Anatomy, ever.  Not because it was a tearjerker but because it was  excellent drama,  the kind that Grey’s is known for, and more.

It was not even an issue of screen time about Arizona and Callie. It was an important episode that leaves us with things to ponder on about the Calzona relationship,  even catalytic to their next steps.

Arizona's support for her friends

Arizona was dejected for her friends April and Jackson as Herman informed them that type 2 babies typically die within a few hours after delivery, or sometimes days. And that this was a sad situation of intrauterine fracturing, --.the baby's bones were breaking inside April’s belly...where he is supposed to be safest…sadly, he is in pain.


Arizona voiced out her concern for her friends. In this dialogue, she just really cared.





                               




Arizona:… “why didn’t you call me? I can help them. They need someone who knows them and who cares about them…and who can make it…nice. I want to make it as nice as it can be and youre not nice

Dr Herman: You really care about them don’t you?

Arizona: Yeah I do, They’re my friends.

Herman: That right there is why you don’t have any business being in that room… ”


Saying Herman was "not nice" actually had truth. She wasn’t exactly sugarcoating the situation when she asked April and Jackson to sign the papers and even to sign a death certificate when the baby had not even expired yet. But Herman was actually just being practical and realistic.

Arizona pointing out to Herman's not being nice led Herman to say that Arizona shouldn’t even be on this case. She was off the case and she couldn’t do anything about it.

This actually should have been done way before, because from previous episodes, doctors at GSMH were not to have familial nor friendship ties with their patients. The emotional attachment would not be helpful. Herman told her April Kepner was no longer her patient.

So even when she was off April's case, still, we saw Arizona with all of her concern even at the time when she lit a candle at the chapel and prayed.

Then onscreen were flashbacks of the time she attended to April and her baby inside her womb.

She had been praying for April.

One thing i realized about this scene though is that Arizona believes in a higher being. She prays to God. And of course there is that tiny hope within me that she also prayed for good hopes for her relationship with her ex- wife and their broken marriage.

The episode was about lost hope against a background of raw faith.

Yet juxtaposed was a case of a miracle.

One where Callie was witness.

Callie and the Miracle Baby

The patient who was accidentally shot by her husband, (was hit on the side of the neck),  was in the O.R. for surgery. She was attended to by Callie and Bailey.

Surprise ! The patient was pregnant and was about to give birth to  her child. And even more surprising, she didn't even know that  she was pregnant.

Callie, as badass as ever, not as an Ortho surgeon this time but as an incidental O.B., took on the reins in the emergency childbirth situation in the O.R.

Even if the episode was a certified tearjerker because of April's baby, this scene with Callie delivering the baby was touching.

It was a miracle baby.

Worthy to note that Callie was the doctor on hand to deliver the baby and it gave so many feels.

Reminiscent of when she gave birth to her own baby in season 7, a baby named Sofia (whom we  miss), delivered at a time when Callie’s health was also in a sensitive state. When chances of her survival was also 50-50.

And wonder of wonders, as the patient's husband mentioned, this baby was unexpected. They had been wanting a baby for years and couldn’t have one. And here was his wife who just had one, when they didnt even know she was pregnant.

It was nothing short of a miracle.

Adding to the emotions after Bailey, Maggie and Callie saved the woman from death was that Callie, a woman who had learned she is not capable of giving birth, delivered the woman's baby. She delivered a miracle baby.

Does this make me want to wish that Callie may just have a miracle baby someday? Nothing is impossible, really.

So in the end scene,  Arizona thanked Herman for taking care of her friends, for admittedly, it would have been hard for her to have been in there with her pained friends.

Both sat side by side in a reflective staring-in-blank-space mode, taking in all the sadness that transpired that day.

For Herman, it was another day at the office, with an unsaved fetus, but she did admit, in all her jaded toughness, that it was never easy for anybody.

For Arizona, it was concern for a loss, experienced by one of her best friends at the hospital.

“We can’t get too close . If we felt even a little of the love and the joy and the hopes that our patients are saying goodbye to, we’d never be able to function. So we say 'we’re sorry for your loss.'
And we hope it offers something. Some little bit of support. Some bit of peace, some bit of closure, something good. Some little piece of beauty in the midst of some place dark. An unexpected gift, just when it’s needed most.”

Our beloved doctors of GSMH are people too. They experience pain, love and loss. And when they do offer their supportive word to their patients, trust that they, too go through their own pain and carry their own burdens.

They too had been challenged enough to question their own faith. And they do know what they're saying when they offer their words of support to their patients.

April who had unquestioning belief, and who believed enough for herself and Jackson, had her own faith shaken by this tragedy. All plans of rearing a child were not to be. At least for now.

But in the end, she did come to terms with their loss, as she comforted the fiance of a patient who expired. By giving comfort, and encouragement, she too helped herself and regained strength, and retained faith.

Arizona and Callie

Arizona had her own loss during her miscarriage. Callie had a similar experience giving birth to a baby even after having been in a car crash.

Important parallels, as they both gave support to their patients and empathized with them.

And both are still standing, having weathered their own storms, as they support their patients.

Still no scene with Callie and Arizona together. They were in the same confines of the hospital. So near yet so far from each other.

Each one with separate experiences, all essential to their growth as individual human beings.

Opposite experiences though. Arizona experiencing devastation for the loss of her friend’s child—an expected baby who was not meant to stay long on earth; and Callie experiencing the birth of an unexpected miracle bundle of joy,

One is sympathetic to her friend’s loss, one is touched by a miracle.

For however these experiences will affect their strength and love for each other, we are left to hope. Hope that all these will contribute to their strength of character, and make their hearts more loving, to make them find their way back to each other.

Still bracing myself for that possibility that Callie will date again. And thinking it may be necessary for this story of Calzona.

More challenges to come and hoping for a scene with Callie and Arizona together again after two or three more episodes. The wait will be over in no time.

Till then.


Twitter:

@GAFan8

Loneliness is the Truth

                       

                                      

Calzona Review 11x10 “The Bed’s Too Big Without You”

Loneliness pervaded 11x10. This loneliness extricated so many tears from me.

It was a five-hanky episode. It was the episode that made me cry most in Season 11. And this drama-packed ep was just perfectly directed by Chandra Wilson.

I loved the episode instantly right from the first few scenes.

Mer was lonely.  Jackson and April were lonely. Amelia was lonely. Owen was lonely.

Yep, Callie and Arizona were lonely.

Arizona in her first scene was in bed all alone, on Callie’s side of the bed (I feel my tears falling from one eye), staring into space thinking. Sadness was  etched all over her face.   Then she covered her face with a pillow--that thing you do when things are …just…lonely.

Callie too had her own loneliness, and she did articulate this  clearly to Owen in her last scene.

This is the episode  I was  both excited and dreading to watch, because of that much talked- about  possible one-night stand.

Waiting for that scene between  Callie and medical tech rep Jenna was excruciating.

Meredith’s narration made me lonely from the onset…

“They found this guy in Maine who had been living alone in the woods for thirty years. They called him the “last true hermit.” Thirty years without the warmth  of human touch. Without conversation.  The hermit felt more lonely when he was out in the world. Than he ever felt in the woods by himself. Surrounded by people but drowning in solitude. That kind of loneliness,  can swallow you whole.”

The Little Gun

Arizona was checking on April’s baby and said tests would show if their baby was type 2 or 3.

Arizona assuaged the fears of the Japril couple that “many type 3 babies lived very very  happy lives.” The kind of words of hope that Jackson and April needed at a crucial time like this. Arizona was clearly supportive.

Jackson wondered,  “Shouldn’t Dr Herman be doing this?”

According to Arizona ,  since it’s a routine procedure, anybody could do it and  “Dr Herman is the big gun. We`only  fire the big gun  when we need the big gun. I’m the little gun,  so make the little gun work.

The woman who Introduced the transducers

Owen and Callie met the much talked about medical tech rep who introduced the transducers.

Jenna: “Robotic limbs for injured vets, sexy as hell. And we at Cybersystems are dying to climb into bed with you.” 

Callie was clueless at Jenna's double entendre “That’s very flattering.”

So when the med tech rep left, Callie mistakenly thought she was flirting  with Owen.

Owen: So what do you think?

Callie: I think you should definitely go for it

Owen: I was not  impressed with these transducers.

Callie: What? Those things  are crap. I’m talking about her.

Little did Callie know, Jenna had the hots, not for Owen but for her.

Crash course

Arizona was realizing how peds was so much easier than fetal surgery where there was no kid to hold, and having to deal with two scared parents feeling totally helpless, seemed like a daunting task.

Herman had a surprise for her thirst for knowledge, though.

“I have been working miracles. I have  found us the most incredible surgeries for the next few weeks….

That’s just the beginning. The beginning of your crash course. “

She  hunted down the most  screwed up  most medically compromised fetuses “for you to learn and for us to save”

Arizona:  “And you get to fix them all?”

Herman: “We will. Start reading.”

Arizona was eager to devour the tons of reading material Herman left her.

Her learning was in full gear. Her thirst for knowledge was quenched.  Just as she wanted. 

Courtesy of her mentor, who seemed to have gone past  what happened last episode and was still all too willing to share her knowledge with Arizona.

The fetal surgery protege was all set. It was a beautiful day to start learning  to save fetus’ lives.

How Herman handles the awful

Then we see Herman and Arizona discussing patients, stillborns, tragic cases.

 Arizona was appalled how Herman could handle all the gloomy stories that were faced by the patients that she had studied.

Arizona: How do you do this?  …without…these stories are awful

Herman: They’re patients, Robbins, the more you find, the more you learn, the more we save…It's as simple as that. Your work is making these three categories  ‘possible, impossible , maybe.’  Any other approach is a waste of our time.

Not only was she teaching Robbins theory and more problem solving cases, she was teaching Robbins the kind  of toughness that a fetal surgeon was to have. 

Teaching Arizona a new way of thinking in tackling the cases-- a more proactive approach, a more detached yet deliberate approach, to save the savable.

Back in the saddle and the one with the nice saddle

I took  a deep breath. I knew this was the scene I eagerly awaited and feared the most.

Callie and Owen  were having drinks at the bar and Callie spotted Jenna from across their table.

Callie: Holy crap! It’s fate! Hey look it’s your sexy ....

Owen: She’s not my sexy anything

Callie: Why not? She could be.

  

Owen was there to relax and was not up to whatever Callie had in mind. He was worried about the conflict of interest because the woman was a tech rep, but Callie blocked his worries by saying what if they don’t buy the junk transducers that Jenna was selling?.

Callie: Come on! Gotta get back on the saddle! She’s got a nice saddle.

Callie was the  enthusiastic matchmaker for her buddy Owen. A friendship that is becoming beloved by many.   Their chemistry as friends was just really amazing and it’s wonderful to see them together, they had the loneliness factor in common.

And for her good friend Owen, Callie approached Jenna. 

Callie: I’m really not good at this kind of thing so I’m just gonna blurt it out. I think that you were interested in more than just our program today.

Jenna: Oh you picked up on that!

Callie: Ohhh I was right! I knew it! Okay so this should be easy. Owen is a little bit shy but he’s a great guy. And uh, the feeling’s mutual. So, what do you say?

Jenna: I would say that there’s something about him that doesn’t quite feel that he’s my type

Callie: What? No he’s very attractive, he’s nice, he’s funny. People like funny. I mean come on, give him a chance. What about him isn’t your type?

Jenna: He has a penis.

And the stages of Calliope’s  reaction was first, surprise; then pensive; then more surprised, then slowly…she reaches a realization…

Callie: Oh my God, Oh

Oh!

Oh!  Wait no. You were flirty.

Jenna: I was. But not with him.

Callie: Oh. Wow. I am wildly saddened by my intense lack of game right now. I can't believe I didn’t see it coming. There was a time when..that’s right I know it’s me  but right now I’m just hahaha cause you looking at me like that…

Jenna: You’re gorgeous.  Do people tell you that all the time, cause you are gorgeous.

Callie : No. Am I? No.  Am I?

Callie: Wait no, no, stop.

Jenna: Not into women?

Callie: No no no, I am. Totally. Women, men , people, really. I’m just not really shopping . I’m divorced and it was recent and painful and brutal. Brutal.

Jenna: You wanna forget,  for just a little while?  I fly out tomorrow. It doesn’t have to be anything more than one night.   

The woman was not giving up and was pushing on with her no-strings-attached intention.

Callie: I would love to have that, I’m just not ready I’m so sorry.

And Callie walked out of the bar, leaving Owen clueless about what transpired during Callie and Jenna’s chat.

Fetuses and  timelines

Amelia checked on Herman about one of her  doctors and Herman told her about the fetuses she was going to teach Robbins how to fix.

Fetuses she wanted to get to with the time she had left.

Babies who will die if Amelia turns out  to be “full of crap” and “can’t take out her tumor.”

Arizona was there overhearing Herman and Amelia’s talk about timelines and how many babies will die if Herman doesn’t survive the surgery.

Herman was back to her usual bitchy direct self.  But she was realistic and made good sense  in her royal bitchiness.

Using up all their happy

Callie joined Owen in the exam room, and Callie was wistful,

Callie: She was really pretty . The woman at the bar with the nice transducers. I’m not ready

Owen: Got to start sometime

Callie: Owen,  The last woman that I kissed in that bar,  I ended up marrying

Owen: Maybe  just take the next one home, then…

Callie: Shut up

Callie: Hey, you’re not ready either

Owen: You know I can’t even imagine, I mean sex, I’ve gone out in one night stands before but I don’t know. I can’t..something real..I pulled that icicle out of her chest, Callie, and I bathed her when she couldn’t bathe herself. I can’t imagine belonging with anyone like that again

Callie sensed the deep sadness Owen felt, and she could relate.

Callie: Have we used up all our happy? Are you ever afraid of that? That this is all there is now, it’s like I had  a certain amount of happy that was supposed to last my whole life and I’ve used it all up? Do you think that’s true?

Owen: God, I hope not

“The last true hermit was found and dragged out of hiding and into the world. Most might find his existence sad. But the hermit knew something we didn’t. He knew that when it comes down to it,  even when you’re with someone, or in the noisy rush of people, it’s just you. The one you can count on and lean on and depend on.  It has to be you. And once you figure that out, that’s when being alone becomes a choice.”

And in the last scene cliffhanger, Arizona had that  look of sadness when Jackson (as he and April waited for the test results) asked ,"This is a big guns conversation, isn’t it?

Arizona: (Sigh ) yes

Notes:

It’s the second episode since after hiatus that Callie and Arizona are apart and have no scene together. I’m getting kind of restless. How many episodes more of being apart? Or how many episodes more of not having at least scenes of them together? Insert tearful emoji. Hopefully only until 11x15?

Yes, they have to go through a process. Yes, it wouldn’t feel right if they suddenly were back together without any sense of resolution. All right, this journey is the type we have to go through step by step.

If they ever get a scene together, they will just make us cry again cause they aren’t even okay yet.  So maybe it’s better for them to have their own separate scenes.

They are living their own lives. Focused on their own stuff. Arizona with her zest for learning and being there for her friends April and Jackson, and Callie with her career, and incidental matchmaking chores for her friend Owen.

Seeing them with their  individual friendships was refreshing. It gave us an added dimension to each of their personalities. That they are both kind, caring human beings, dependable and helpful to their  friends.

Arizona 

She appreciated her mentor’s surprise with her crash course in handling  the most compromised fetuses.

This was too good to be true. Her delight at the prospect of more substantial  learning was amusing. Did you see her eyes light up, like a child on Christmas day, when Herman gave her the stacks of learning material? 

Also,she realized how different peds was from fetal surgery, which was a lot more hardcore.

She was learning toughness from Herman’s example, in handling the awful situations of the fetuses.

Also, Arizona was sensitive to others' needs, concerned about her friend’s baby’s fate.

Callie

Callie was the big thing of the episode. Her presence, her response to Jenna. How hilarious her reaction was when Jenna said she was gorgeous, who wasn't on the floor laughing at that scene? I mean how brilliant could an actor be? 

Her response to Jenna did make me happy but when she rambled on when she was  with Owen in the last scene, it did make me think of how lonely and sad she is. She came to the point of fearing that she might not attain happiness again.

Friendship with Owen

Callie and Owen’s friendship is beautiful. It is fun to see them  have a comfortable, open relationship. Fantastic chemistry.  It is always  wonderful to see them both openly share their emotions with each other.

Their  common denominator  --the loneliness they feel after having had painful relationship experiences—strengthens their bond even more.

The mutual support is solid. The fun is irreplaceable, especially when Callie tries to play matchmaker for Owen in this episode.

Sure people like to toy with the thought that they could make a great couple, but I would have to say they have  a very good friendship and it is best to keep it that way. 

Anything further would just mess up the story and the story lines and my ship.  So my bias is all over the place.

It is great to see them  there for each other, being the other’s cheerleader and shoulder to cry on at a forlorn stage like this. Bravo to this friendship.

Callie’s “No no no I am. Totally. Women, men , people, really I’m just not really shopping .

reiterates the fact that Callie is open to both men and women. Love it that gender is not important to Callie when it comes to love.

Callie and her self-esteem

I’m tempted to talk about the transducers, but I have no knowledge about them. Let’s talk about Callie and the lady with the transducers instead.

Callie was surprised at Jenna’s interest in her. Even flattered. But why didn’t she even KNOW that she was gorgeous?

That raw reaction from Callie showed that she  simply lacked confidence in herself. Setting aside how hilarious that scene was, on a more serious note, she seemed to have lost her self-esteem. 

Why? She  didn’t know how gorgeous she was? And hearing it from another person had to surprise her?

That she had to ask it twice, made me want to say to her—‘Callie honey, what have you done to yourself? Where had all your confidence gone? Why did you allow yourself to feel this way? Did you lose your sense of self along the way?'

Having had so much pain and giving all of herself through those times since the plane crash must have taken  a toll on her sense of self-worth. Maybe, just maybe, she had given all of herself and allowed herself to go empty and lacking in self-value?.

This line reveals her psyche:

“I’m divorced and it was recent and painful and brutal. Brutal.

Callie gave so much, and she forgot herself. And calling her breakup painful and brutal  said it all. It took a toll on her.

The damage signs are showing.  And leads me to agree that much as it hurts, they really need this time off from each other . It doesn’t mean either  partner is to blame, NO. It’s just that their circumstances have led them to have marital problems and Callie, in the process, lost herself.

Time off is a good thing. To refresh, to recover, to revitalize. 

Each has to go through the motions of being individuals, rediscover themselves, make themselves whole again.

There is brokenness and this is the time to heal. Apart from each other. On their own. By themselves. With the help of their friends.

Jenna was beautiful as Callie said, but she just wasn’t ready. Maybe she felt this was not what she needed to heal at the moment. And maybe it was not  time yet. I felt a sense of regret from Callie. But honestly, I feel it is only a matter of time (meaning two eps after) when she could get ready to try dating once again.

I felt this Jenna thing is just the teaser, making us accept the possibility that Callie could open herself up to dating again. 

Why not? It’s all a part of their journey. The journey to heal, to renew love for oneself, the journey to be whole again. Whole again, in order to love each other better.

The happiness quota

Callie’s  fear of the possibility ofnot being happy again was truly sad.

That maybe her allocation of life happiness was used up,  can only be voiced out by a person who had already been experiencing a string of unfortunate situations that the promise of happiness begins to look bleak.

That kind of thought of people who are beginning to lose hope about regaining happiness again.

The difference

See the contrast? Arizona is the driving force  of  hope for her mentor, and for her friends April and Jackson.

And yet  Callie has almost already thrown in the towel about  hope for more happiness.

Right now they have complementary attitudes,  and yet they do not know what the other is going through.

So breathe.  In the next episodes, the ride will be rougher.

All is good. They are both fine.  Let them grow. Let them feel.  Let them heal. Let them love.

All will fall into place in good time.

.

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