She Didn't Have to Give Up Anything

Calzona Review 10x15  "Throwing It All Away"

Love. Only Love. And Always Love.

That's all that’s worth thinking about, after  watching this  magnificent Calzonaful Arizona-centric episode.

Calzona fans cannot be touched.  We’re  on Calzona Cloud Nine.

Finally, finally, the real Talk happened.

Aren’t we just jumping for joy, because at last,  we saw and heard what we needed to hear from Arizona, and all our hearts had gained wings,  upon seeing Callie’s response  to her wife’s direct expression of love.

May I just say that  this episode is the reason why Calzona is my most favorite couple in the fictional world.

As Grey’s Anatomy had successfully made them a  mainstream same sex couple, which had been  truly groundbreaking,   their example of love as shown in this episode is beyond amazing and worthy of emulation.

 

Contrary to what critics might say, this kind of an exceptionally giving relationship  is still possible in this selfishness-filled world.

And it just feels so  good that this celebrated  Calzona couple serves as one  giant beacon of hope for all kinds of love relationships.

The episode starts with the voice-over :

“You know your tailbone? It used to be a tail. That pink part in the corner of your eye?  It used to be a third eyelid. The appendix used to help us to digest tough foods. Now, it does nothing. The story of our evolution is the story of what we leave behind. What we’ve discarded. The things we no longer have use for.  We give up, we let go.”

To be honest, this voice over initially sounded discouraging, because of the words "discarded" and "we let go"

Fruit juice on the leg

Wonder of wonders, the opening scene after the much-appreciated ferry pier scene, focuses on something so dear to Callie and Arizona fans-- their wedding picture on a fancy picture frame, in Callie and Arizona’s room in their new house.

I do not recall having seen a Grey's episode opening scene with that picture, so yes, my to-see-is- to-believe personality  finally believed Mr. beancake when he said  this was going to be Calzonaful. 

Somehow, through this picture, it did feel imminent that  something   important was going to happen to our beloved couple.

It was a brand new morning in Seattle, and  we see  Arizona arise from bed, about to wear her prosthetic leg, when she sees  a conspicuous stain as baby Sofia had spilled fruit juice over it.

This scene was to be the very first of a series of scenes surrounding the leg throughout the episode, giving us a thorough picture of how Arizona had been living with her prosthetic leg, how she feels about it, how she deals with it, and how she had come  to terms with it. 

So Arizona uses a blow dryer to dry off the spilled juice when Callie, bearing what resembled a large shoebox, comes into the room and was puzzled to see what Arizona was doing--blow`drying the leg , thus, the first Calzona scene

Callie: Ahh, explain please

Arizona: Sofia poured fruit juice all over it and as you know...... I’m gonna be late and I told her not to play with my leg

Callie: Uh, no you haven’t, actually, ever

This  matter-of-fact  reply from Callie was worth a chuckle.  Although she assumed she did, Arizona had not ever told Sofia that the leg was off limits, and adorable baby Sofia probably saw it as an interesting  toy, so it was not  exempt  from her playtime fruit-juice-pouring spree.  

Nice touch by writer, William Harper, who deserves so much credit. Every Calzona minute of this episode was GOLDEN.

Callie: Hey I found these, where should I put them..your wheelie sneaks

Callie had such a radiant smile, while holding the sneakers up for Arizona to see, but was disappointed with Arizona’s rash decision on the wheelies,

Arizona: oh, trash

Callie: Really?

Arizona: Callie, it’s fine

From this, we gather that for Arizona, her roller skate girl days were over. The image of herself,  whizzing by at the hospital halls on her famed wheelies were gone days. To her mind, the possibility of ever wearing those wheelies again was nil.

Cute Callie expression alert. Adorable, in fact. She wasn’t too happy about what her wife said. By her facial expression, you could feel she did want her wife to still use those wheelies.

 

Robot talk

Next scene, Arizona has a little boy for a patient, with frequent jaundiced edema, etc whose condition had gotten worse, with whom they plan to do a diversion procedure to avoid a liver transplant.

Arizona walks over to the side of the boy to explain further his condition and the treatment steps they would take, in a way the boy would understand.

Boy: I’ll have a hole in my stomach?

Arizona: I know that sounds weird, but it’s our best shot so you don’t feel like you’re getting sick all the time so you don’t look like an oompa loompa. Does that sound good?

The little boy was listening but his eyes slowly focused on Arizona’s exposed prosthetic leg, and he let out the awkward  question

Boy: Are you a robot?

Everyone felt the awkwardness of the question, everyone except Arizona. She seemed used to questions like this and it was admirable how she handled it:

Arizona: That’s a valid question. No, I’m not a robot. Im almost that cool. I got into an accident and I lost my leg and they gave me a new one.

Boy: Can you jump super high? 

Arizona: hahaha no,

The complaint

Then right outside that patient’s room, Owen interrupted the conversation of Jolex and Arizona, about Karev’s suspension from surgery, and turned to Arizona:

Owen:  Robbins can take that case

Arizona: Thanks makes my day really easy

Owen:Well, im afraid it’s about to get harder. HR wants to talk to you today

Arizona: HR?

Owen: The anonymous harassment complaint, came from Leah Murphy.

Arizona : Oh God

Owen: Yeah and legally HR has to investigate and they want you to answer some questions and that might be the end of it.

Arizona: I have no time for this today

Owen: No contact with Murphy, okay?

The stunned, pensive and annoyed look on Arizona’s face was detectable.

Derek & Callie and the Sensors Part 1

In the next scene, we see  Callie catch up with Merder.

And Callie reminds Derek  to let her know when Derek will be ready for their research continuation.

Even teasing Derek “ the Washington guys,  mappin the brain”

Callie was upbeat about Derek’s new work involvement with the government, little did she know there would be some technicality to this.

The dumpster baby and the stunt double's stunt

Next scene, Stephanie and Jo bring in  a baby they found in  a box in the dumpsters outside the  hospital

Baby’s pulse was weak, but he was warm.

It was so refreshing to see Arizona holding the baby in her arms, why did I feel like..... oh never mind, I didn’t feel anything…

Arizona: What're you like, 8 months, nine months? What do you have here? You’ve had some surgeries before

They were going to prep him for the PICU, Arizona instructed orders further

“we’re gonna find out who this little guy is”

and walked away, unaware that  Stephanie’s gurney-pushing skills were not exactly doctor-friendly that day.

Yes, this is the much awaited double side flip of Arizona’s stunt double in acrobatic action.

As impressive as the Olympic worthy move of the stunt  double,  was  how Arizona reacted when she fell to the floor. It was admirable. She was not  angry. She was actually calm.

Arizona: I think you broke my leg 

Arizona was on the floor, fallen with her prosthetic leg  bent in a non-functional kind of way, perpendicular to her torso. In no way could she use the broken fake leg

Stephanie: Oh my god

Arizona: Its all right. I have another one in my car.

On hindsight, this just feels like the fruit juice stain on the leg was a bad sign..

The epic "Everybody out!" scene

We see Arizona in an exam room, ready for help for her leg to be reattached.

Bailey comes in to the room and I honestly got endeared to Bailey’s transparent concern for Arizona, cute that Bailey and Owen joined Jo and they were kind of like fussing over Arizona

Bailey: What happened?

Arizona: I’m fine I was walking and Edwards…I had an accident my leg got broken and someone’s  bringing me a spare, I’m fine

This conversation left me smiling again. It was just like it was one of the normal things that happen, her leg broke and someone’s getting a spare…yeah, nothing big…

And Stephanie brought in the spare leg from the car.

Then the wife arrives, Callie comes to the rescue. Take charge, no nonsense Callie

“Okay, everybody out, please”   in true Callie badass fashion. 


Its so amusing to see Callie act this way, she’s in charge of her wife, protective, she’ll take care of Arizona. She’ll take care of Arizona best.

You go, Callie!

Callie: Hey, are you okay? 

The love and concern all etched in Callie’s face

Arizona: Yeah, my leg’s a little sore, my leg is totaled I have to wear my old leg…

It was such a sweet caring moment for the couple, then  Arizona tells Callie about her HR appointment, which put a stop to the happy vibe.

Arizona: Hey listen,  HR wants to talk to me. The anonymous harassment thing came from Leah Murphy

That name simply had the foulest effect on Callie. She released her hold on Arizona’s newly-reattached   leg and seemed to lose interest in staying around.

Callie: “You good here?

Arizona: Yeah, Thank you”

Obviously, Callie was not at all pleased by this turn of events. Not just displeased but seemed disgusted.

On cuddling and squeaking

We see Arizona visiting Cristina who was checking on the dumpster baby patient, and gave her her medical findings on the condition of the baby and Arizona asked her a non medical but nonetheless essential question:

Arizona: Have you cuddled him?

In the usual Cristina fashion,

Cristina: No I haven’t

Arizona: Well if I were left in that cardboard box, all I want is cuddling, right?

Cristina : Oh I think I’d like a cardiac cath  to confirm the.... coarctation of the aorta…he is like a puzzle that I cant solve

I love how Arizona asked this question. It was not a medical remedy at all. It showed her "doctorly" nurturing side, and I liked that it seemed she was so caring about this baby. I really liked seeing her that way, all motherly, caring. 

That’s the Arizona we know. We usually only see that side of her when she is with Sofia.  It’s so comforting to see her caring side.

It gives us a clearer view of  Arizona as a woman with motherly nurturing instincts, and  how this trait of hers has shown itself again, after having gone through her tragedies in life.

Then Ross came in, informed them there was no record of the baby being a former patient.

 Arizona handed the baby over to Ross and prepared to walk away, when her leg squeaked, prompting Cristina to unleash the funny question:

“Are you Squeaking?”

Arizona: Oh long story

Another nice touch there.  Shows us how funnily awkward situations can be with the fake leg, and Arizona had been a real trouper dealing with all of it.

The patient who wanted to be amputated

Callie and Arizona go together to their common patient’s room, a girl with club feet, who was arguing with her dad, for she did not want to go through another surgery and still be in pain. She wanted to be amputated to get on with her life.

This patient’s case was interestingly  relevant to Arizona’s situation.

The dialogue shows the girl’s impatience at her plight. He just wants them to cut her leg off.

Callie was still recommending surgery, but it got to a point where the patient expressed her sentiments about  repeated procedures but which resulted to her still being in pain, and  had to blurt out “you keep lying to me!”

Patient: I've had braces and castings and surgeries and none of it works so I wanna know, if you can just cut them off. Just give me the fake legs.Then I can still do the stuff I wanna do.

The dad was vehemently objecting to the girl’s decision,

Dad: She’s been talking like this for a month now. Please tell her that I’m not gonna allow anybody ...

Patient:  To disable me? Dad, I am disabled now! I still cant walk. It hurts when I stand for more than three minutes. I’ll never run. It hurts when I try to sleep.

Dad: Tell her she’s being ridiculous

Patient: You are.

.....Ive known of..... those who run marathons with fake legs!

Callie was trying to pacify the patient, while Arizona was taking everything into account, evidently, the conversation was too close to home. She perfectly understood what the girl was talking about. She empathized with the patient.

Jessica Capshaw’s thespic talent  is worthy of so much praise in this scene. She was just standing there, and we just could feel so much just seeing her reaction..  Her sincere, yet understated powerful expression of empathy was spot on.

The patient’s speech alone was driving me to tears. Heart-wrenching  moment.

Arizona’s expression, while she listened, was  a mixture of understanding, pain, sadness and resignation.

Callie: It has, it has been a long road. And I know I know it hurts. It feels like you cant go any further, but this time you have to be brave and push through it and have faith, even if it’s not working yet. It’s going to work. Right? (Callie looks to Arizona for support)

But Callie was not ready for Arizona’s reply:

Arizona: Im not so sure about that.  (Sadly)

And I couldn’t erase from memory the look that Callie gave her…

This dialogue ensues :

Callie: I cannot believe you didn’t back me up in there. That kid wants to cut off her legs

Arizona: I was suggesting you don’t dismiss it out of hand

At this point Derek tried to interrupt, to no avail

Callie: Really cause it sounds to me that you’re asking me to just throw away three years of hard work and investment and this girl just cut it off and throw it away like that?  It can never happen I don’t wanna do that.

Then upon hearing this, Derek, decided not to talk to Callie at this time, as his concern was directly related to what Callie just said.

All about the leg 

We see Arizona in the lounge, with Bailey helping her treat a blister cause by her prosthetic leg

Karev entered the room and tried  explaining to Arizona about his proposed procedure for the  patient when as he moved forward, he saw that Arizona did not have her prosthetic leg on.

Alex felt awkward.

Alex: Oh crap, sorry , I didn’t know you were uh, I can wait till you’re finished

Arizona: No alex it’s fine

Alex: Cause I never see you like that. You okay?

Arizona: Yeah, it’s a blister. I think using the appendix is a great idea, let’s look into it

Alex: I can get him prepped

Arizona: This does not mean you are scrubbing in I’m sorry

It was a no-go for Alex, but I have to note that it was surprising to see Alex’s reaction when he saw Arizona without her fake leg.

I actually didn’t expect that, for he was the one who cut her leg off.  But maybe that was just an expression of compassion, and maybe a hint of guilt that he was the one who did the surgery, or maybe it was just plain awkwardness.

After Alex left,  Bailey could not help but comment: “You just got off his interest when he saw you”

Arizona: There are two different looks that you get. Without the leg on they feel sorry for you, and with the leg on they think that you’re amazing and brave or yeah, or a robot

The questioning expression on Bailey’s face can really make you smile

Also, the words of Arizona had conveyed to us how she feels about people’s varied reactions to her disability, and it is truly amazing how we see her acceptance of her predicament.

I guess over time, she had already gotten used to it, the internal healing had occurred, and acceptance had already taken place. All’s well. 

So I guess we are ready to leave that infamous line: “It always comes back to the leg”. No more. No more. It all doesn’t come back to the leg no more.

Being Disabled 

This next very important scene is where Arizona speaks to the patient’s dad.

This scene clearly shows us how Arizona not only had accepted her own disability, but is now at that stage where she can empathize with people with the same situation, and even offered her personal thoughts on it, as a person who had gone through the same experience.

Dad: Dr. Robbins Can I ask you a question? Do you have kids?

Arizona: Yes I do I have a little girl

Dad: You have a little girl and you can still tell me that I should cut  my daughter’s legs off?

Arizona: No. Ultimately that’s her decision. But she cant make it without your help.

Dad: You think that’s gonna be better with no legs? You know kids are gonna stare at her and make fun of her, because she’s crippled

Arizona: Disabled 

I wanted to cry when Arizona said this, but I knew I shouldnt cause she was actually 
supplying the correct term, as being disabled is actually an  empowered term

Dad: Crippled, disabled what difference does it make I don’t know what you call it. How can you say that

Arizona: I never thought that id carry my daughter or be a doctor again, and now, there’s very few things I cant do because of this

And Arizona showed her prosthesis to the astounded dad. 

Dad: When did that happen

Arizona: Ive had it since before

Dad: I didn’t notice.

Arizona: Why would you?  This…is so severe ….And her muscles put too much strain on the joints and it wont get worse, but the pain will never stop.

Dad: Its just her and me now. I don’t want to make a wrong decision

Arizona: I know. Shes your little girl

The earnestness in Arizona’s face when she delivered these lines was responsible for the huge lump emerging from my throat.

Arizona Unravels Callie's Fear

Then we see this very important scene, a revelatory one, both for us and for Callie.

Callie: Hey .... just told me that youre pushing for an amputation for Alyssa.

Arizona: No. I wasn’t pushing for anything Callie, but it’s the right thing to do and you’ve done palliative amputations before

Callie: Yeah on a soldier, a grown man, not a child,whose legs I've been trying to treat for three years !

Arizona: And failing Im sorry! Its true, and honestly, I mean before last year you would’ve seen it

Arizona’s bluntness in this sentence is astounding, yet you would not even doubt her sincerity cause she just says it truthfully, to her wife, and in that situation, her colleague.

Callie, however, thought Arizona was relating this situation to herself,

Callie: Is this about you?

Arizona: Its about Alyssa It’s not about me, but its not about you either

Callie: Why would you say its not about me..i didn’t say…

Arizona: I think that you’re afraid to do this amputation and I think that you're afraid, that might be my fault.

From this conversation, Arizona called out Callie’s  fear. She may have had trauma from what happened when she decided to amputate Arizona’s leg. It  seemed like it had a certain painful relevance, which may be holding back Callie from agreeing to cut off the patient’s legs.

Or maybe because as an ortho surgeoen, first priority will always be to save limbs.

But Arizona had to be the one to present to her  the practical, truthful side to it. Arizona knew Callie well. Knew Callie best.

Then interruption comes from the HR woman,

HR: Dr Robbins, Hi I’m Ann from HR, we’re ready for you upstairs.

And as the HR woman briefed her on what would happen, Arizona and Leah saw each other through a window, and I did not care what they were thinking about each other. All I could think about were the comments of my twitter friends against Leah.

Callie and Derek and the sensors Part 2

Then we see Callie facing another setback.  We see an angry Callie talking with Derek

Since Derek was asked by government to discontinue any work that he’s doing with the sensors, the stand  of the government  is that  they and the NIH hired Derek and the sensors go with him, because the sensors have to be proprietory to the work that theyre doing.

That the  NIH grant is dependent on that.

And that the sensors cannot be used for Callie and Derek’s research.

And Callie found this preposterous.

Callie: This is not gonna keep you from doing our  project, is it? Uh, Okay…

Derek: Callie I never expected them to do this I’m gonna try fight them on this but in the meantime, you understand?

Callie: Uh  I think so. You partnered up with me, but now you’re gonna take our ball and youre gonna play with your new friends, I understand that the last six months was a complete waste of my time.

Callie’s face was filled with anger, it was the angriest  face I ever saw Callie have. It was kind of cute, though. Oops. Even Callie’s angry face is too attractive. Every angle and every expression of this woman is simply charming. That’s cause she is so stunning.

Veering from the gushing, looked like Callie did not understand what happened at all, and Derek knew that. Whatever Callie’s next step will be, we will see in the next episode.

Arizona's brief appointment with HR

The HR woman was reconfirming with Arizona about the following facts:

That Dr Torres handed the drill to Leah, and Leah drilled through the patient’s leg and into the table.

And that Arizona had terminated any romantic relationships with Murphy. There was no contact of a romantic or sexual nature after the incident.

HR said that was all she needed. And dropped the unexpected bomb:

“Dr Murphy didn’t lodge the complaint against you. Thank you”

Another new problem  for Arizona. Another stunned reaction.

Next we see Arizona talking to Cristina, scrubbing in to fix the baby boy’s mitral valve which blew.

Arizona: I’m stuck in HR

Cristina: Is Murphy coming after you

Arizona: Worse. Actually her complaint was against Callie.

Cristina: Callie, why?

Arizona: I don’t know, I mean I know but I didn’t wanna believe it.  

Cristina assured Arizona she’ll take care of dumpster baby Oscar’s surgery and let Arizona go to her other surgery.

Callie's admission

But first,  Arizona and Callie meet again with the club foot patient and her dad

Dad; I just need to hear it again Tell me you think this Is the right idea.

Arizona: I do. Dr Torres has done everything that anyone can do to stop your pain. But..

The admission came from Callie herself. Her wife’s words earlier got through to her. She agreed to what her wife said. It had to take her wife to unearth the truth inside of her

Callie: It’s not working. And by every indication, every surgery will just mean more time at the hospital bed, more scarring. And the same results.Pain, for the rest of her life.

The unacknowledged fear inside of Callie clouded her professional judgment, and now she was admitting to what would be the best recourse for this type of situation. Her wife had helped her to admit this. But she was also feeling that she failed her patient

Dad: She’ll never run, I’ll never walk her down the aisle

Callie: Not unless we amputate

It was a very moving scene. Amputation was a necessary  passage, for the pain to stop, and for the  opportunity to be mobile once again.  Because as Arizona attests to it, there is life after amputation.

And the dad decided:

“Please schedule a double amputation. I want her pain to stop today.”

Callie: Okay

Even as Callie admitted the truth, she did feel bad. It was a sort of mini defeat, or maybe a humbling  admission to what she knew to be right. And it did hurt that years of hard work did not work, she felt she failed.

Setback after setback

Then Arizona followed Callie outside

Arizona: Callie

Callie: It’s okay, its just one more thing today

Arizona: HR wants to see you. Leah Murphy’s complaint is against you. They asked Hunt to tell you but I asked if I could…

As if the day could not be any more worse for Callie. She could not believe what Arizona just said. She was visibly angry, trying to hold everything in.  Every bad thing was happening. And the expression written all over her face, it seemed the world was closing in on her

Callie: Okay well, I have to push this amputation

Arizona: I’ll take that off your pate I’ll do it. You come find me when youre done? Im sorry Im sorry

Callie: You know I just got through a malpractice suit now I have to deal with your jealous ex girlfriend trying to ruin my reputation I swear to God I cant take anymore of this.

How the Arizona and Leah chapter ended

As Arizona was scrubbing in for the surgery, the only resident available was Leah Murphy. Surprise.

But it seemed like a necessary circumstance. It actually made things clearer and better for both.

Arizona: What are you doing here?
Leah: You asked for a resident I’m the only one available

Arizona: I’ll do it myself

Leah: You’re actually gonna do that? You’re gonna refuse to

Arizona brought up what she had held in for a time,

Arizona: Leah, I cared for you. I liked you and that’s all that it was. I’m sorry that I hurt you. But if you’re gonna come after my wife now because

Leah: Look I know what our relationship was, I’m not a child. I never thought of it in terms of work. It was you who brought it to the hospital. You told Dr Torres about us and Dr Torres chose not to teach me in a moment that put a patient in danger. She made me put a patient in danger. So did you.

Arizona: I never thought…

Leah :You were thinking about yourself. It wasn’t safe, it wasn’t fair and I had to say something. Because it shouldn’t happen again. To me or anyone.

And Arizona seemed to have understood.

It was amazing to see how Leah had progressed from appearing to be a bitter scorned lover last episode, to a sensible, mature ex, who only had the welfare of  the  medical profession and her  education in mind.

Much as we all wanted to stone Leah earlier in the ep, upon learning that she filed the complaint against our dear Callie, as we suspected it to be some form of twisted “revenge”, the point she raised had substance.

She did have a point. Point taken.

It was a pleasant thing to see Arizona and Leah have a mentor-student reconciliation in the O.R.,  and as they performed the amputation, Arizona taught her as she should have.

With what I perceived as a sincere look that Leah gave her while listening to her teach during surgery, why did that feel like there was a sense of closure? 

Through this scene, it seems the Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy chapter is finally over. Finally.

And whaddya know, something good came out of it, as it did help to  improve policies of the hospital, all advantageous to  proper patient care.

The Arizona and Cristina friendship

Next scene is a touching scene between Arizona and Cristina. Important scene as they talk about the plane crash  for the very first time. This is another coming-to-terms element in Arizona’s story.

Cristina: Hey Oscar's doing well he needs more observation oooh

Oh me too

Arizona: I wonder what would have happened if they hadn’t found him out there

Cristina: He’d be dead

Arizona: But he’s not. He’ll grow up he’ll be who knows who, he’ll have a whole life

Cristina: Yay (Cristina smiled a very cute smile)

Arizona: Yeah

Cristina: Do you still have dreams about it?

Arizona: Oh yeah. Usually when Im anxious. The day before Sofia started her pre school I dreamed about this all night about Mark and Lexie, and the pilot Jerry

Cristina: Jerry. For Me, I dream about you screaming. You wouldn’t stop screaming. So thank you for that

(Funny that that was also one of my clearest recollections of  the plane crash. But I wasn’t there so that doesn’t really matter…)

Then Arizona did a very very touching gesture that we never expected, she held Cristina’s hand, tight, and that, without any words at all, sealed the bond of friendship that these two have.   

This talk was an acknowledgment of what  happened during that very traumatic exerience. A sharing of emotions. And a reaffirmation of a special bond of their shared painful experience, an unspoken bond which only they can understand.  
  

One of the best and most moving scenes of the episode.

Arizona: Good job today

Cristina: Yeah lucky kid

Arizona: Lucky kid         

and Arizona smiled that beautiful happy smile.

Scene of all scenes

Then next scene,  Callie and Arizona are in their house, Arizona still  treating her sore leg

Arizona: Howd it go?

Callie was shaking her head

Callie: Im going to bed

Arizona: I think Murphy was right

Callie: Of course she was right Arizona.I was mistreated her and I was petty. And jealous and at my worst. Because you slept with her. Of course she was right. I keep thinking we’re okay. And we buy a house. And then this happens and Im not sure we’ll ever be okay.

And today, I lost my research, I failed a patient, and now, I have a disciplinary report that’s gonna follow me forever. So now Im going to bed.

Arizona: Im sorry. I feel that all I was thinking about was myself

Callie: Oh God I swear I swear I cannot listen to you apologize one more time, you have made it very hard to keep forgiving you.

And here goes the  best Arizona speech ever 

Arizona: For over a year since the plane crash, all I have been thinking about is myself. I had to figure out how to be me. I used to be someone who was always happy. I woke up happy. I was someone who used to skate at work and then this happened. And everything was hard, and everything took thought and planning.  

And my life felt like it didn’t fit me anymore. I just I just wanted to tear it all down and start over. Just throw it away and find a life that fit, who I am now. Im starting to feel like I know who I am again.

And I’ve had to give up things. But what Ive learned, is that I don’t need much. I don’t need much to be happy. I don’t even need two legs. But I do know that I need you. I need Sofia. And I need you.  

And im afraid, now that ive learned, all of that, that I made you give up on me.

Callie was crying too. She paused, and then turned way.

Just then,  I heard a resounding “CRACK!” 
The Calzona fandom’s heart  just painfully broke.

And Arizona’s tears were our tears too. No, this was not happening. What happened to the Calzonaful 10x15. I somehow expected it to have a happy ending. What happened? There were only a few minutes left in this episode and Arizona gave the greatest speech we had ever heard, This is even so much bigger than Good Man in a Storm. This was THE SPEECH  of all speeches.

Callie turned away. Where was the forgiving Callie, the understanding Callie..did she walk away from Arizona after hearing that speech? The tears were about to roll uncontrollably.. when the biggest surprise of the episode made us the happiest fandom of all time.

Callie CAME OUT OF THE ROOM with that large shoebox again.

The tears started to fall, this time not out of sadness and hopelessness, but one of relief, one of disbelief, even.

I mean we almost. Gave. Up.

And here she was, to Arizona’s relief, that ultra mega fantastic woman knelt across her wife to help her wear the wheelie sneaks, and saying this iconic EPIC quote which will never be forgotten by Calzona fans:

“ You shouldn’t have to give up anything.”

And Mer’s voice over dramatically continues…

“It makes us realize how powerful we actually are. To strip down to only what we need…”

And Callie reached for Arizona’s foot, and started to put on the wheelies.

I was dumbfounded in the five times I rewatched this scene. For the life of me, I just could not get over the extreme kindness of heart on display, right before my very eyes. And I could not control my heart which was about to burst anytime then, as Arizona watched Callie’s every move.

She did not expect this at all, what Callie was trying to do and when Callie started to put on the wheelies for her , she could not help her tears. 

She was appalled at the loving kindness of her wife.

Arizona was all gratefulness and happiness, and even somehow embarrassed by the humble and concerned gesture of her wife.

Callie is officially established as the woman with a heart of gold.  Her immeasurable forgiveness, understanding. It all points  to her immense love for her wife. Only love can move a heart to forgive this much. To understand this much.

Only love. Only love could drive such an act of kindness. Of understanding.

Despite the faults, despite the mistakes. Despite all that happened in the past.

Callie, her most loving wife, listened to her sincere expression that she needed her wife, needed their child, that nothing was as important for her than the two of them. She did not need anything more. They were ENOUGH.

Callie listened. Callie understood. Callie forgave.

She knew that after all her wife had been through, she knew that Arizona meant every word she said.

And love. Only love could drive Arizona to say all those heartfelt words, all expressed in pure earnestness.

Arizona was all-sincere in her speech. She knew her faults, and she let out all truth .

To say that she needed her wife and child more than anything in the world is a most sincere and humble and pure confession of love. It takes so much vulnerability, honesty and sincerity to say to someone that you need her. And that she and their child were enough

Callie  knew Arizona loved her and Sofia so much too, she just really went through a most painful, confusing experience in life. It had to take time. They had to go through a lot of trials, changes, challenges. And yes, Callie and Arizona were strong enough to survive everything..

And this was followed by that iconic scene where Callie was helping Arizona test run the wheelies outside their home and the scene was the sweetest and most tender that we’ve ever seen in a long time. So spontaneous. So natural. All the love in the world was squeezed into that scene. We did not even need a kiss. It was much more precious that way.

Jessica and Sara were beyond brilliant. They really made our hearts soar with their portrayal of these two characters’ display of overflowing love, of  natural happiness,  of fun.

That shot outside the house while they were testing the wheelies  was the best  and most feel-good scene of the episode. It was the most picturesque loving scene.

In my humble opinion, 10x15  will go down in history as one of the best Calzona episodes ever, maybe even a notch higher than 10x09.

Not only because it is Arizona-centric, or because it is Calzonaful, but because it is that Calzona episode which showed the sweetest expressions of love between the two. Not involving what-ifs, but happy moments that were actually happening to them.

It represented how a strong, happy couple who had become plagued with so many issues and conflicts and troubles, weathered all the storms, remained strong for one another, and stayed true to their promise to love one another forever.

Many of  us fans  wish  that  baby Oscar be adopted by the couple, and of course our  most cherished dream  for them is  to legalize their  marriage.  But I would rather wait it out and will be content with just seeing more happy moments in the next episodes.

For now, let’s revel in the happiness of true glorious love.

And look forward to happier days as Arizona will surely be back to being roller skate girl, the perky, sparkle-y Arizona we knew her to be. And be back to being the loving wife to Callie and loving mom to Sofia.

The beautiful text of the closing voice over could not be more relevant:

“Why does it feel so good to get rid of things. To unload. To let go. Maybe because when we see how little  we actually need to survive. It makes us realize how powerful we actually are. To strip down to only what we need. To hang on to only what we cant do without. What we need. Not just to survive, but to thrive.”   

Arizona had that perfect epiphany. She came to realize that after all she had been through, she discovered that she needed nothing more than her wife and daughter.  It had been a process of stripping away all that were not essential in her life, for her to realize that after all is said and done, her life happiness will just only be Callie and Sofia.

The song played during the scene was quite  apt for Calzona

"If you're lost you can look and you will find me 

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting...

Time after time"

That opening scene with the wedding picture was a good sign after all. It signified that the couple held their marriage sacred after all that happened.

Callie and Arizona did not throw away their love, even if it had  faced a gargantuan amount of threats in the past episodes.

They were human. They fell. They failed, but they got back up. They stood strong.

We’ve waited 18 long, painful, torturous, tearful episodes.

And now I can proudly and joyfully say:  Callie and Arizona made it through the storm.

They survived.

And they remain strongest.

More than ever.

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