I Think They're Mint to Be

Calzona Review 10x12  Get Up Stand Up

Good intentions are not an end in itself.We may have the best intentions in the world, but we also need to make sure our intentions are coupled with understanding. 

All season long, we have journeyed  with Callie and Arizona through all the ups and downs, the rough patches, the difficult twists, the less than smooth turns.

We’ve been witness to all the tears and heartbreak they have gone through;  and best of all,  we treasure the delight of the  promise of that sweet, unexpected  kiss last episode.

We were so worried about why Arizona was crying in the promo for this episode.

After such a beautiful kiss in episode 11, we were so scared that our bubble would burst and she and Callie would be on the outs again.

We even thought the PTSD would unravel in this episode.

When we saw 10x12, it allayed our fears.

The reason though, for which she was crying, was definitely something to reflect upon.

Dynamic Duo of Brain mapping

First scene shows favorite working pair Callie and Derek.

We see them  discussing Phase Two of their research and who could not help but notice the radiant smile Callie had on her face. Hmm, someone is in a  good mood. Wink.

Then Owen interrupts to remind Derek  about his invitation to participate in the Presidential Initiative on brain mapping.

Quick on the draw,  Callie acted as Derek’s spokesperson:

“Okay, no. We’re starting Phase 2. He’s my brain now. Meredith can have the rest, I get  his brain.”

It was apparent that Callie was all gung-ho about this project. She didn’t even bat an eyelash when she heard Owen say “Presidential initiative.”  Callie was determined to finish this project along with Derek as partner, as “her brain.”

Even if he had encountered hesitation from the brain mapping dream  team about the research  invitation,  Owen made sure both were going to the big event of the episode, April’s wedding.

He only wanted to save his son's life

Then we see Alex and Arizona  in the next scene.

Arizona was asking  Alex about his dad being in the hospital when a patient was brought in.  No, not by the paramedics but by his dad, who personally drove him to the  E.R.

The boy, Cody,  was driving a tractor, hit a  bump and went under the wheel. Arizona found out that he was moving before his dad took him to the hospital, who was so scared he couldn’t wait so he brought him there himself.

The boy was not responsive to the reflex hammer.

This alarmed Arizona and urgently asked the dad to step back as they had to do work on the boy right away, mounting him on the famed Lodox machine.

The scene continues, with Alex’s diagnosis of the boy’s condition, a fracture in C6. And Arizona said  Dr. Torres was needed. The boy, who suffered a broken neck  had a lot of internal bleeding and needed to be operated on right away.

Alex: He should’ve waited for the ambulance. I think this guy paralyzed his own kid by bringing him here himself

Arizona: Don’t know that yet Alex. I got this. Why don’t you go be with your father

Alex: No it’s all right

Arizona: What? You must have questions. 

Long lost father? I mean I’d have a billion. How about go to the OR and I’m gonna call you if I need you.

I like the friendship that Arizona and Alex had developed, which rooted from a mentor-student relationship.  Arizona’s concern for Alex was noticeable.

Alex was willing to call a spade a  spade. He  was frank enough to recognize the dad’s carelessness for what it was,  but we notice that Arizona was being a tad defensive of the boy’s father. 

It  struck me initially as an admirable trait of Arizona, being mature and objective in an emergency medical situation as this, little did I know that she could personally relate to how Cody’s father reacted to his son’s accident.

The poor dad was concerned. Very worried.

Dad: Oh my God, he can move, right? He was moving

Alex: That was before he was ..

Arizona was quick to cut off Alex, so as not to worry the dad unnecessarily,

Arizona: We’ll know more in a bit, we’re doing everything we can, so sit tight.

She only wanted to get her wife back to where she was

The next scene, we see Callie and Arizona together in the OR, with Callie cheerily determining the extent of what needs to be operated on..and try to avoid paralysis of the patient.

Arizona : thank you, you’re a genius

Callie was giddy

Callie: I am actually. Sort of a genius. Derek and I start Phase 2 today. Tactile pressure feedback. 

Arizona: Good for you.

Callie: Oh, it’s good for you too. The goal is, a prosthetic leg, as sensitive and as responsive as the one that you lost. Get you back to where  you were.  Okay prep the neck, I’m gonna scrub

The cheery tone of Callie couldn’t be hidden from behind her surgical mask. Just her tone gave away the excitement she had about her research dedicated to her wife. She really wanted to do this for Arizona.

And  yes, we did notice that Arizona had an ambivalent reaction to what Callie had said.

She was concerned and surprised though when Alex entered the OR

Arizona: Hey I told you I’d call you if I need you. How’s your dad

Alex: Where do you want me?

Arizona caught Alex’s tone and expression, and knowing Alex, she thought it best to just let him be.

Good intentions

In the OR together with Alex during surgery , Callie and Arizona talk about prepping for the upcoming wedding

Callie: Are you gonna wear your high heeled leg?  Cause it looks amazing and it always gets so  sore after a while. oh and its also in a farm so it might be muddy

Arizona  cut her off,  “I’ll be fine”

Callie :Okay

Arizona:The spinal injury was likely caused by the father transporting him

Callie: God, Wait for an ambulance

Arizona: Well he didn’t know. 

Arizona was quickly on the defensive. She slightly raised her voice. We could tell, this topic is a sensitive one for her.

Callie: Yeah,  well now maybe his kid may not walk? He would’ve been better off if he just kept his hands off

Arizona: Callie, stop it. This kid was hurt. And he was trying to fix it. Sometimes we try to make things better and we have no idea that we’re actually causing more pain, of course we don’t tell him

Ultra sensitive Arizona was cutting off Callie mid-sentence throughout this OR scene.  And even slightly raised her voice. The topic was rubbing her the wrong way.

 And that last line was telling. We could somehow sense something was bothering her, but we did not really delve into it as of yet.

Leah in the meantime

Then as an aside, we catch Leah, who had been empowered by Bailey’s “Never be afraid to stand up for yourself… Just make sure you’re right when you do.”

Jo was asking Leah if she could take over her patients because she would be going to the wedding and Leah wasn’t. Empowered Leah was determined to try and win back the love of her life:

“I am going. Because if you stand up for what you deserve, you’re gonna get it. I deserve her. I am not gonna be thrown aside. I am going to that wedding and I am gonna stand up in front of everyone and im gonna tell Arizona how I feel and she’s gonna be forced to deal with it. I sound crazy. And this is the thing that I do."

Yes, Jo pointed out to her that she had been going crazy all the while, good that she caught herself just in time, before making an utter fool of herself.

I surely hope Leah snaps out of this kind of mentality. It is truly distracting, that at the back of our minds, while Calzona is trying to heal and work things out, that someone is still longing for Arizona, still overly obsessed about her and is willing to fight for her, when we know that this will only be for naught.

At the beautiful farm

Then we see Callie and Arizona in a beautiful setting, an outdoor scene--the wedding venue. 

We rarely see them in scenes like this and it was such a delight to watch. Their beauties even more striking because of the outdoor lighting. Our protagonists walk  and discuss,

Callie: Hey, after this is over, I wanna have a toast to celebrate

Arizona: Oh, funny you have a toast

Callie: No a phase two (laughs)

Arizona: Your research

Callie: Well OUR  research (Callie was all excited about what she was saying, and Arizona was skeptical. Serious. Questioning)

Callie: Our research. Yours too. You inspired it, I wouldn’t be doing it without you

And Callie said that with such a loving, loving, loving look, I was melting. Sara, you have such a sincere and affected method of acting, I want to hug you right now.

 Callie was alarmed to see Arizona trying to hold back tears. She was saying this in as cheerful a tone as possible, why was it eliciting such a tearful response from Arizona?

Arizona: Okay

Callie : Are you crying? (Callie was alarmed)

Arizona was quick on the draw,

Arizona: Yeah, you know, weddings.

Callie: Yeah

And of course, Callie understood that her wife was being emotional about weddings. She had that nurturing Callie look. Who wouldn’t want to give her a bear hug.

With that  simple look, I could feel all the love she had for her wife.

All through this episode, Callie was supportive. Happily trying to get on board and get excited for this project that she was working on most especially for her beloved wife.

Callie was serious in trying to work things out. She was true to her word when she knocked on Arizona’s hotel room and asked her to come home.

She purposely put the issue of  the ten plus times behind them.

She was not irritated with Arizona anymore, as she was in most of episode 11.

The kiss that we saw last episode 11, yes, this was the follow through. She was feeling that everything is slowly going back to normalcy. They were  happy again. Well at least Callie was.

She thought Arizona was, too, but for us viewers, we could see how transparent Arizona was, since the start of the episode.

In stark contrast to Callie’s cheerfulness, Arizona seemed to be lukewarm and undecided about all this. Yes, she was appreciative, but it seemed as though, something was bothering her deeply. Callie was not the irritated one in this ep. It seemed like it was Arizona who was quite touchy this time.

Seems like the writers are alternately making them irritable per episode? I’m exaggerating. I’m sure this will go on for only these two episodes to express a point.

The Bride Comforts the Bridesmaid

Then at the bride’s staging area, we see  new BFFs Aprizona standing in front of a mirror

Arizona is still in tears

Arizona: You look so beautiful (and breaks into tears) so the bride handed her a tissue

“Are you gonna get it together?” A worried April inquires. 

April's  BFF seemed to be too emotional, and the wedding ceremony was due to start soon. She was supposed to be worrying about her own big day, but her BFF bridesmaid had worries that needed to be addressed right there.

Arizona: Sorry, Callie’s trying so hard to forgive me. And to take care of me. It’s driving me crazy.

April: I thought you wanted…

Arizona: I do! I do love her and I want her back and I broke us and I wanna fix it. But she wants to fix me. The reason that I cheated that night. Someone was attracted to me. She never knew me before. She only knew me after and I was enough for her. And Callie, she knew me before and she loved me before. And now sometimes, I feel like.. I’m not… I’m not…

April: Enough?

Arizona: It’s not fair! It’s not fair Its not her fault. And I hate feeling this way. And Callie, she’s just trying to fix everything and I’m finally feeling okay the way that I am now. I’m not sure that Callie will ever make me feel that way. 

And she sobs on the bride’s shoulder. The bride is comforting the bridesmaid. Yes, this is happening on her wedding day.

April: So sorry that you’re going through all this..TODAY!

Hands down, this  is the funniest scene of the episode and I cannot get over April’s expression when she said “Today!” It was her day after all. The one single most special day in her life and here she was, consoling her troubled new BFF.

She could have been given  the special treatment this day  but…no…she had to be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

This was sort of a continuation of that drunken Aprizona chapter of their lives. A recap and an elaboration of what is going on in Arizona’s mind at present. The difference is, she had less inhibitions then.  She was pre-drunk. She easily expressed her feelings for the first time then.

This time around, she was not pre-drunk. She was very much sober.  She is starting to be open with her feelings. Funny to note though that the timing could have been better.

It all came to a head when April lost it and berated her “people”.  Mertina were  having their own reconciliation drama of their own, just when the wedding ceremony was about to start.

I could not stop laughing when she put a stop to all the nonsense going on around her special day, with the Mertina-patching up going on, and the just concluded confiding session of Arizona . 

Arizona was not exempt from April’s scolding:

“And you! Stop talking about adultery on my wedding day because it is my WEDDING DAY!”

The expression on Arizona’s face in this scene was just hilarious. Jessica Capshaw  showed fantastic comedic timing, just as all the actors  in that scene had.

I appreciated the way they presented Arizona’s dilemma in a light way.  I even felt that it was supposed to be solely a funny scene, with the Arizona issue just inserted there for comedic effect.

For me, this suggests  a positive way of looking at it.

Touching to note how April remained supportive of her, even if she had worries of her own, as it was her Big Day. 

The funniest moments of the episode belonged to BFF April and her antics with Mertina and Arizona in the waiting room.

From this, I can tell that Arizona:

        1)  Was experiencing an internal struggle which included guilt

        2) She could not contain her feelings, could not even be rational enough to spill out her           emotions at the appropriate time. Lack of control of emotions.

The situations she had with Callie throughout the episode made her emotions run high and voila, reached boiling point in April’s bridal staging room.

Dissection of what Arizona said

Since this is the highlight of the Calzona SL in this Ep, it is very important to dissect all that Arizona said:

“Sorry, Callie’s trying so hard to forgive me. And to take care of me. It’s driving me crazy.”

I am happy to note that it came straight from Arizona that she knows Callie is trying to forget what happened. Arizona was aware that Callie  was willing to forgive Arizona for her faults. True to her character, kindhearted Callie  had been showing loving kindness to her wife. It warms my heart to know that  she is  taking care of Arizona, with the same concern, just as she had when Arizona lost her leg.

But contrary to what Callie thinks, it is not achieving the intended result. It was driving Arizona crazy. And this breaks my heart. I can’t think enough of the effort Callie is putting into all this. Why is it driving her wife crazy?

“ I do! I do love her and I want her back and I broke us and I want to  fix it. But she wants to fix me.”

Clearly, both of them want to work it out. Arizona wants Callie back. She wants to fix the relationship too. She was  guilty  that she was at fault and caused damage to their union. And she was upset that Callie so wanted to fix her. She wouldn’t cry that much and bug April on her wedding day if she weren’t guilty and upset enough. 

She had her own process in mind. She wanted to take matters into her own hands to fix what she broke.  She was just not ready for Callie to be this concerned about her, and this willing to get her back to close to what she was before.

Maybe it was overpowering guilt. 

“The reason that I cheated that night. Someone was attracted to me. She never knew me before. She only knew me after and I was enough for her. And Callie, she knew me before and she loved me before. And now sometimes, I feel like.. I’m not… I’m not…

April: Enough?”

“ It’s not fair! It’s not fair It’s not her fault. And I hate feeling this way.

Ever since that destructive 9x23 episode, we had always been asking why, why, why.

We had our own guesses. And we were right. It was exactly what Arizona said in the above line.

Arizona, who was feeling very insecure about losing a leg,  felt that  Lauren saw her for what she was, minus the leg. Lauren had no point of comparison. That gave Arizona the feeling of instant acceptance.

It is understandable to feel the inadequacy that she felt. Arizona was worried that someone who has loved her so much when she was in a different form, might not love her as much, now that she was physically “incomplete.”

The impairment had that effect and this explains that “it all comes back to the leg” bit.

It came directly from Arizona for the very first time, 12 episodes after. She did not feel she was “enough.”

In essence, we have to mark this event as officially the first time that Arizona lengthily poured her heart out and expressed what she felt. Yes, she had to say it out loud to April first and not to Callie,  but I am not affected at all by this.

It’s a common thing to do when you are greatly burdened. Sometimes, you choose to confide in your best friends/confidante  first, to ask for advice, for fear that a wrong move may endanger the  progress that she and Callie were having.

These two have never really had a chance to talk. In Episode 3 when “she wore the red dress and everything” and went to the  therapist’s, Arizona was willing to talk, but Callie was not willing to , or maybe was not ready. This is perfectly understandable too.

After all that happened in between, the time has become more and more ripe for them to talk and I feel that this is a step in the right direction. Another baby step forward.

Arizona had expressed the feelings she has bottled up inside to another person. That can’t be bad. All she needs to do is express it now to Callie.

I think that talking to April helped Arizona identify and affirm to herself what had been bothering her all along, and from here, move forward to communicate with Callie.

We have all been about baby steps, and not rushing them to get back together using shortcuts, and I think that the show is going in this direction.

They had that really special kiss last Ep 11. We would have been up in arms if Ep 12 had shown them problem-free, as if that kiss solved all their problems.

I'm happy that the writers didn’t take the easy route. They seem to be taking the Calzona journey on a gradual pace. We all wanted a step-by-step process, and this is what we are getting. I’m happy with what is happening.

I would have been severely disappointed if they just did a time jump, showing all is already well in the Calzona world, then they have their marriage made legal, etc.,  when we have been wanting and  expecting a process.

And this is the process that we have been waiting for. Talking to April is a step in that process.

This episode made me confident that the writers will fairly show us realistically  how a couple will try to work things out in a broken relationship. No band aids, but healing from the freshest stage of the wound, ever so slowly toward  complete recovery.

Besides, it was April’s wedding Day. I didn’t find it fitting for Calzona to have their first talk on that day. April was the center of focus  of the episode, no one should steal her thunder on that special day, except of course for Jackson. But that’s another story.

“And Callie, she’s just trying to fix everything and I’m finally feeling okay the way that I am now. I’m not sure that Callie will ever make me feel that way.” 

Seems like as Callie tries so hard to fix her, the more Arizona feels that she is incomplete. 

Maybe she feels that it is constantly being stressed that she needs fixing, when all through the months after losing her leg, she had tried and learned to come to terms with it on her own. She had maybe finally made her peace with losing her leg.

And Callie, who is most probably filled with her own guilt for having consented to cut off Arizona’s leg (when she really had no other choice),  as we remember that Arizona had blamed her in their argument in 9x24, had been trying to source out every possible way to alleviate her wife’s plight. And she apparently is not aware that Arizona did not need this persistent need to fix her.

Here we see the gaping hole in their communication.

To sum it up: They both have the best intentions. They both want each other back. They love each other. But they have not yet communicated to each other on the best way to work toward this. 

They are assuming ways of trying to work things out. Thinking that they can second guess each other, but in reality, they are not in synch. 

Their actions are all based on misaligned assumptions. So if this goes on, the problem will not be resolved.  

Arizona is somehow saying that her own personal reconciliation with the condition of her leg will only come from herself. That she foresees that even if Callie exerts all effort to fix her condition, it will not be as effective as when she does her own personal healing.

Callie and Arizona, really need to talk and therefore understand each other. I believe that last week’s special kiss breaks down barriers and I expect them to talk soon.

This breakdown of Arizona was an eye opener for herself. That she is struggling with something that is not minor. And she has to deal with it.

When they walked down the aisle 

Then we are treated to a very beautiful scene from the beautiful wedding. Arizona the bridesmaid was first to march down the aisle.

The part that grabbed me was when she glanced and smiled at Callie as she passed by and 

Callie had that even more loving smile  for her. My heart was like strawberry ice cream on a hot summer day. Melting…just melting.

The looks that these two frequently exchange always say so much, I cannot even start to explain.

  

As the pastor was reciting the words, the camera focused on the characters.

These words were being said by the pastor and we see the camera pan to Arizona who glanced and smiled at Callie,

“Give them the strength to commit their love to one another”

It touchingly reminded Arizona of Callie and their bond, and she looked at Callie with a most loving smile, and Callie returned that smile with an even more earnestly loving one.

Then the pastor’s words continued,

“Unshakeable through any storm..” the camera focused on Arizona and Callie exchanging looks of love, of desire to rebuild their commitment.

It symbolized so much, meant so much. And it turns my heart into mush.

If they only hold tight, they'll be holding on forever

I felt personally assured that after all the damage , they had taken the first few baby steps since Episode9, and we see  they are both working at it, but  they do need all the strength to follow through on the  journey to reconciliation they have embarked on.

The important thing to note is that both Callie and Arizona  care enough about each other to make the healing process possible  for one another. They are human beings, each other’s way may not be the exact way that will make the other understand and be comfortable with but it’s a very welcome start.

Just as patient Cody’s father, who had all the best intentions to bring his son to the hospital to expedite healing, but did more harm than good, our beloved couple are having the same kind of challenge too.

It’s all a matter of identifying what approach to use, what works best to make the healing and helping effective to each other.

I am overwhelmed with happiness with the thought that Callie is willing to do everything to help Arizona. Even if she doesn't know how Arizona feels about it yet. I choose to focus first on Callie’s loving intention. Her big heart is trying to help fix Arizona. She truly wants Arizona to have as little discomfort as possible. She purely wants to make her wife happy. And if that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

Remember, the reason  she got into this research project in the first place was to make mobility easier for her wife. To make her feel as she was before. Whole. For the leg to be as sensitive and responsive as before.

And this unknowingly, is not aligned with what works well for Arizona. As she poured her heart out to April, it showed that she does recognize and appreciate Callie’s effort in trying to “fix” her, but she has to let Callie know that no amount of trying to fix her would work, because she has to heal on her own first, feel better about herself on her own. 

What I see here is that the intentions of both Callie and Arizona  are noble. Best intentions for one another. Both have the willingness to try and work it out. Both are working to rebuild what was damaged.

But intentions can not be sufficient if they are to reach their goal of reconciliation.

Intentions must be coupled with understanding. Understanding what the other means. What the other will appreciate. What will be right and comfortable for the other.

And how do they acquire understanding? Easy.

We have all been  clamoring for this, and I’m sure the actors are too. They have to COMMUNICATE.

Callie can work her butt off as much as she can, bury her nose in her research, thinking it will be the best for Arizona, little does she know that Arizona is having these uncomfortable thoughts, of being empty, of being not enough within herself. Being wanting. Insufficient.

And Callie does not know this. All she knows is that she’s trying her best to help her wife, and when her research succeeds, this will make her wife happy and they will live happily ever after.

This saddens me to my core  because as much as Callie continues on with being her kindhearted self, pouring out all the love for her wife, it will all be for nothing if she does not discover that  there have to be adjustments made in terms of how to approach this leg issue.

Arizona, on the other hand, had shown how much she cares and appreciates Callie for her efforts, it’s just a matter of explaining to Callie what she needs and what she doesn't. 

As she cried while confiding in April, you could see that she was agonizing and conflicted with her  internal dilemma. She wanted this conflict within herself resolved. She does not want to feel incomplete. She wants to be happy with what Callie is doing for her, but Callie does not understand how she really feels.

For the first time after the drinking binge Aprizona had, we heard Arizona acknowledge  her struggle.

And this time, she admitted it with more specifics. I couldn’t say she was drunk then, when she first started opening up to April. She was pre-drunk then.

Now that she is obviously  sober, the time had come for her to come out of her shell and do the 2^nd of the  first two steps that had to be made.

The initial healing steps I mentioned before in the Episode 4 review were:  1) admit her deed, and 2) assess and admit WHY she did it.

She’s done with the first step, and now,she  had just completed  the 2^nd step.

They need to retain  strength to commit their love to one another.

Maybe they’re past the  roughest part of this journey, but there will still be bumps. It will be a long hard climb, but as parallel to what the pastor said, we hope that they will be given "the strength to commit and love one another” “unshakeable in every storm”

And with the closing Greys narration:

Failure is inevitable. Unavoidable. But failure should never get the last word.You have to hold on to what you want. You have to not take no for an answer and take what’s coming to you. Never give in, never give up. Stand up. Stand up and take it..

Callie and Arizona had been through  failure. They are human. They are not perfect. No human being is.

To our eyes, they  were a very stable couple before the plane crash, but circumstances led them to discover that their relationship too, is fallible.

They should not give in to the difficulty of trying to recover what was lost, to repair what had been damaged.

They have to stay strong, and  stay true to what they resolved to do, which is to try and work things out with each other.

All is not lost from all the mistakes that they committed. And they have to stay strong with what they have left.

The love is there. The willingness to please each other is there. They just have to come together, understand each other by talking with each other.

After watching and re-watching this episode five times, and after seeing countless comments in the Twitterverse, let me put my two cents in simply.

This episode gave me hope. A little more hope than I expected, for Callie and Arizona to work it out. I never doubted for one moment that they are MFEO, but this episode made it one step more tangible. 

Not just by their loving looks but seeing Arizona's thoughts finally expressed, and seeing Callie's caring actions. 

All that needs to happen now is the understanding via communication with each other.

Sure, there will still be drama, because this is Grey's Anatomy.  They may even fight again. But no matter how crooked and rough the road to reconciliation may be, they  have to stay strong and focus on their objective.

I hope in the next few episodes, we will already see them wear their necklaces again.

Karin Gleason said in a tweet that  they will talk, we just have to wait.

I am not blindly hoping for impossible things. I just trust that with what I saw in the tone and approach of this episode involving Callie and Arizona, it is reasonable enough to remain positive about the future of their union.

We have many weeks to get ready for 10x13. I'm going to spend my time watching all episodes of Season 10. 

I may succumb to being on edge during this hiatus but  I will not waver in my stand to not ever take sides between Callie and Arizona, whatever mistakes each one had committed against the other.

They are human. They make mistakes, and they can right their wrongs. No one is unforgivable. Hackneyed as it is, let him who has no sin cast the first stone.

I cannot ever take sides between Callie and Arizona. I'm just not born that way. 

Happy Holidays and Happy Hiatus.

#TeamCalzonaForeverandEver

Twitter: @GAFan8