Once there lived two true mothers and they were beautiful. They loved each other so much. They had a beautiful daughter and they loved her more than anything for she was their sunshine. One day, something happened so the two mothers went separate ways...but their daughter was still their sunshine...
Calzona Review 12x22 “Mama Tried”
The Calzona story never promised us a rose garden. They
never promised us sunshine and rainbows forevermore. And they never promised
that they would not hurt us.
We had seen Calzona
through multiple peaks and lows in their relationship, but getting into
a custody battle was the last thing we would have ever expected to happen
between them and it hurt.
Grey’s Anatomy broke our hearts and we let it.
This episode (which was heralded by four sneak peeks) was one of those episodes you dreaded to watch. Why start an episode that would surely make you emotionally unstable?
Grey’s Anatomy broke our hearts and we let it.
This episode (which was heralded by four sneak peeks) was one of those episodes you dreaded to watch. Why start an episode that would surely make you emotionally unstable?
No one wants to watch her most favorite couple slug it out
in the custody hall of justice only to see their counsels twist what their
friends said about them, make their present job seem like a deficiency and
their private activities made to look undesirable to the public eye. We
did not want these lawyers with their lawyer-speak and lawyer-strategies
tear their personalities down and tear them further apart.
Just the opening billboard where Callie and Arizona's images slowly fade to white and slide away from each other was enough for me to hesitate to watch this much talked-about episode of this danged addictive show.
We can handle pain from a TV show, sure. But this kind of clash between our two most beloved fictional TV characters? Nope.
I'm sure it took a lot of effort for each Calzona fan to watch it all unfold and bear watching Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres--so innocent about the entire issue, not knowing she was at the center of it all-- as the "prize" to be won in this painful courtroom battle.
As Kevin McKidd , director of this brilliant episode said, this episode was INTENSE. And that was an understatement.
Every Calzona scene was filled with highly-charged emotion.
The episode indeed ripped our hearts and disturbed our psyche, thanks to the amazing writing of Tia Napolitano.
Yes, this was the Calzona Centric episode that we had long been pining for. Although of course we did not mean that we wanted it to be sad-centric.
Just the opening billboard where Callie and Arizona's images slowly fade to white and slide away from each other was enough for me to hesitate to watch this much talked-about episode of this danged addictive show.
We can handle pain from a TV show, sure. But this kind of clash between our two most beloved fictional TV characters? Nope.
I'm sure it took a lot of effort for each Calzona fan to watch it all unfold and bear watching Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres--so innocent about the entire issue, not knowing she was at the center of it all-- as the "prize" to be won in this painful courtroom battle.
As Kevin McKidd , director of this brilliant episode said, this episode was INTENSE. And that was an understatement.
Every Calzona scene was filled with highly-charged emotion.
The episode indeed ripped our hearts and disturbed our psyche, thanks to the amazing writing of Tia Napolitano.
Yes, this was the Calzona Centric episode that we had long been pining for. Although of course we did not mean that we wanted it to be sad-centric.
The Calzona Story in
42 seconds
The episode began with flashbacks of the story of Callie and Arizona.
In 42 seconds, the highlights of the Calzona story flashed before our eyes. It was an emotional roller coaster of the ups and downs of Calzona history.
Meredith starts the painful storytelling with this biblical tale about King Solomon and two mothers...
"There's this bible story. Two women. Both claim to be the mother of the same child. King Solomon had to choose. Two mothers, only one gets the kid."
They Tried
The episode began with flashbacks of the story of Callie and Arizona.
In 42 seconds, the highlights of the Calzona story flashed before our eyes. It was an emotional roller coaster of the ups and downs of Calzona history.
Meredith starts the painful storytelling with this biblical tale about King Solomon and two mothers...
"There's this bible story. Two women. Both claim to be the mother of the same child. King Solomon had to choose. Two mothers, only one gets the kid."
They Tried
Back to the present day, Callie and Arizona are locked in phone
negotiations represented by their lawyers. Several times, what I heard their lawyers say to several suggested
arrangements was "that would be a HARD NO."
They just could not agree. On visitation schedules, summer break schedules, everything was shot down by both ends.
As we see here, Callie and Arizona, as advised by their lawyers, did try as a last ditch effort, to come to an agreement about sharing time with Sofia to avoid a custody battle in court.
The emotion in this phone negotiation scene was too high. Not to mention the director's amazing selection of shots which fully conveyed the tension and stressful emotional imbroglio that both characters were going through.
Camera work on Callie's pacing back and forth, Arizona's shoe heel tapping, their hand gestures, their foot movement, signified how they were not taking this lightly. In fact, it was a very big issue if not the biggest issue of their lives.
Unsurprisingly, with their lawyers as spokespersons, they were furious with each other.
So much was at stake. Everything was at stake. Because it was about their little girl.
As perfectly worded by Arizona's lawyer:
"If we don't settle, if we go to trial, you risk losing it all. And only one of you is walking out of that court with sole custody."
Arizona: I am painfully aware of that
Lawyer: Then i urge you to consider their offer
Arizona: Their offer is insulting
And so the phone discussion ends with the much dreaded "we'll see you in court"
Mer's voice-over continues ...
"It all ends when one mom relinquishes her custody. Or else they both stand their ground, and the kid gets torn apart.
Solomon came up with a plan. He proposed a 50-50 split. Literally, it was a reasonable compromise..."
When Callie Hugs too Tight
Callie woke up anxious. It was after all, the morning of the court trial. I imagine this was even more stressful for her than her medical malpractice trial back in Season 9. She had a blank stare at Mer's house when she had to drop off Sofia, who in contrast, had a big smile and a hug for Aunt Maggie.
It seemed like Callie had a strong premonition that things were not going to be okay.
Even Sofia noticed that her Mama was not okay when she hugged her goodbye.
Callie: I'm gonna miss you so much. You know what? Mama loves you so so much. I will see you again before you know it.
Sofia: I know. You're hugging me too tight, you're hugging me too long.
Callie's facial expression seemed like she had felt a sense of foreboding...that she might lose Sofia. And maybe this is why she was clinging too tight and didn’t want to let her daughter go at the moment.
Meanwhile, Arizona dropped by the hospital before going to the courthouse to attend to a pregnant patient who slipped and fell. This patient would be the same one who would need an emergency procedure and pull Arizona out of court later on.
They just could not agree. On visitation schedules, summer break schedules, everything was shot down by both ends.
As we see here, Callie and Arizona, as advised by their lawyers, did try as a last ditch effort, to come to an agreement about sharing time with Sofia to avoid a custody battle in court.
The emotion in this phone negotiation scene was too high. Not to mention the director's amazing selection of shots which fully conveyed the tension and stressful emotional imbroglio that both characters were going through.
Camera work on Callie's pacing back and forth, Arizona's shoe heel tapping, their hand gestures, their foot movement, signified how they were not taking this lightly. In fact, it was a very big issue if not the biggest issue of their lives.
Unsurprisingly, with their lawyers as spokespersons, they were furious with each other.
So much was at stake. Everything was at stake. Because it was about their little girl.
As perfectly worded by Arizona's lawyer:
"If we don't settle, if we go to trial, you risk losing it all. And only one of you is walking out of that court with sole custody."
Arizona: I am painfully aware of that
Lawyer: Then i urge you to consider their offer
Arizona: Their offer is insulting
And so the phone discussion ends with the much dreaded "we'll see you in court"
Mer's voice-over continues ...
"It all ends when one mom relinquishes her custody. Or else they both stand their ground, and the kid gets torn apart.
Solomon came up with a plan. He proposed a 50-50 split. Literally, it was a reasonable compromise..."
When Callie Hugs too Tight
Callie woke up anxious. It was after all, the morning of the court trial. I imagine this was even more stressful for her than her medical malpractice trial back in Season 9. She had a blank stare at Mer's house when she had to drop off Sofia, who in contrast, had a big smile and a hug for Aunt Maggie.
It seemed like Callie had a strong premonition that things were not going to be okay.
Even Sofia noticed that her Mama was not okay when she hugged her goodbye.
Callie: I'm gonna miss you so much. You know what? Mama loves you so so much. I will see you again before you know it.
Sofia: I know. You're hugging me too tight, you're hugging me too long.
Callie's facial expression seemed like she had felt a sense of foreboding...that she might lose Sofia. And maybe this is why she was clinging too tight and didn’t want to let her daughter go at the moment.
Meanwhile, Arizona dropped by the hospital before going to the courthouse to attend to a pregnant patient who slipped and fell. This patient would be the same one who would need an emergency procedure and pull Arizona out of court later on.
Team Arizona and Team Callie Get Ready to Rumble
Outside the courthouse, Team Arizona coach Richard Webber had met with Arizona with two tumblers of coffee which he ground himself. Nice and thoughtful of Webber to continue support and give counsel to Arizona at a stressful time like this.
Richard: How are you feeling? Robbins, it'll be tough. But right now you have to look past the pain into what you'll have when you're done
Arizona: At the end, I'll have a baby. That's what i tell all the laboring moms.
It was a welcome positive pep talk. To Webber, Arizona should keep her eye on winning.
Then on cue, they see Team Callie (with Penny and her lawyer) walking toward the courthouse. Arizona and Callie exchange glances but it was the kind that strangers or opponents do. It felt like the prelude to a duel.
I felt nauseous. I dislike it when they treat each other as strangers and now, even as foes. They should not be sizing each other up as if they were duelers. They are not supposed to be enemies. Yet this feels like that exactly. A courtroom brawl. Between two estranged parents.
The judge described it as a "custody modification between two divorced parents. "
"The trial's witness pool is unusual in that it will be shared by both parents. Each witness will take a stand and each side may examine each witness.
Remember... you are not choosing sides. We're all along the same side, the side of a six year old child.
Custody hearings are without exception, very difficult among all parties involved. Your daughter included. Things said here will undoubtedly be harsh and cannot be unsaid. "
The gravity of the situation dawned on both Callie and Arizona as soon as the judge pounded on her gavel.
Both seemed nervous and in agony. Anxiety etched on their pained faces.
And the Calzona
fandom unanimously breathed a very deep breath. This is it.
And that opening billboard with both Calzona's faces fading to white and sliding away from each other to make way for the Grey’s Anatomy OBB was portent of sad things, separation things to come.
This was to be the most heartbreaking episode of Calzona yet.
And that opening billboard with both Calzona's faces fading to white and sliding away from each other to make way for the Grey’s Anatomy OBB was portent of sad things, separation things to come.
This was to be the most heartbreaking episode of Calzona yet.
The Testimonies
As we know, Callie and Arizona invited people to testify for them.
Here is a rundown of the testimonies and how I think both sides scored:
Owen
Owen discussed their charity project for vets. This definitely put Callie in a good light. Owen's words were generous with praise:
"She just cares she's always been willing to help. She's a very empathetic person. Big hearted.
She is thrown a situation, it doesn't daunt her. It inspires her. ...She just jumps in.
She's making the best of a tough situation with grace. It's something i admire about her."
Point for Callie
Andrew DeLuca
"Sofia's a blast. She's so smart and she and her mom are just laughing all the time. The place is so happy. Sofia makes the place happy. We see so much dark stuff everyday at work it's really nice to come home to a happy kid"
DeLuca's testimony showed that Sofia had a happy environment at Arizona's house. That Sofia is a happy kid at her mama's home.
Point for Arizona
Penny
Penny's testimony garnered positive points at the start. She knew Sofia well in the few months that she has known the child.
As the lawyer tried to establish Penny's relationship with Sofia, we learned that Penny even knew many of Sofia's favorites. But this turned awry when Arizona's lawyer turned the questioning to the basic and easy facts.
Lawyer: Would you say you love Sofia?
Penny: I have come to love her yes
The lawyer quizzed Penny on how well she knew the child and she aced it.
Penny knew all this of Sofia:
Favorite color - blue
Favorite toy - astronaut barbie
Favorite cereal - whole grain O's
Favorite animal - unicorn
Favorite sea creature - mermaid
Bedtime- 8:30 pm
Favorite thing to do in the morning - pick out her outfit.
Penny was confident, "you can ask me anything you want"
Penny did well. And Callie was happy, until
Lawyer: What was Sofia wearing this morning?
Penny couldn't recall
Lawyer: What grade is Sofia in?
Penny: Second grade. First
The lawyer pounced on what Penny didn’t know and this didn’t do well for the case. Callie did hope this wasn't too bad but as confirmed by their lawyer, it was very bad.
Point for Arizona
Bailey
Bailey as Chief of Surgery was examined on comparing Arizona and Callie's work schedules as surgeons.
Interesting to note that this is the same Bailey who officiated at Callie and Arizona's wedding and it is sad to see that she is now on the stand to be a witness at a custody battle between the divorced couple.
For a while there, I think Bailey forgot that she was not a lawyer. She blurted out "objection, speculation" in a lawyerly manner (this was the only humorous part of this episode) but she did go on and testified on what she knew about surgeon schedules, about being a woman surgeon and how noble the fetal surgery profession is.
It was a comparison of schedules of a doctor who does bones and a doctor who attends to babies. Basically comparing fetal and ortho surgery.
The lawyer's main question was : Which has more unpredictable surgeries?
It was established that due to the unpredictable nature of childbirth, Dr Robbins schedule is more unpredictable.
Evidence presented showed that:
Torres logged in 27 emergency procedures and Robbins logged in 92.
Lawyer: Wouldn't you call that schedule gruelling!
Bailey: I would say it's wildly successful. But i would never put a woman's success in the con column
Lawyer: 92 times she dropped everything, Sofia included, to go to a job
Bailey: Would you ask that if she were a man?
Lawyer : 92 times she chose work over a child.
Bailey: 92 times Dr Robbins was saving babies. Saving parents from losing their own babies!
Bailey was fully able to defend Arizona's side as a fetal surgeon who ably balanced her work with being a mother.
Arizona's lawyer's pep talk: “don't be discouraged . They're trying to turn your strength into weakness.”
Point for Callie
That evening, coming from court, Arizona stopped by again at the hospital checking on her patient who was disappointed that she will not be there to attend the scheduled medical procedure next day.
In a bar scene with Jo, Steph and Ben, Ben’s words which I suspect is the stand of the show, could not be more true: "A breakup is tough enough as it is but a kid in the mix...just because you're not the parent who gave birth to the kid doesn't make the kid any less yours"
On point.
Callie and Mer : The Custody Battle Over Bottles
Next scene shows Callie sweetly saying “I love you” to Sofia on the phone but ended it with a sad "No i don’t want to talk to mommy"
Favorite color - blue
Favorite toy - astronaut barbie
Favorite cereal - whole grain O's
Favorite animal - unicorn
Favorite sea creature - mermaid
Bedtime- 8:30 pm
Favorite thing to do in the morning - pick out her outfit.
Penny was confident, "you can ask me anything you want"
Penny did well. And Callie was happy, until
Lawyer: What was Sofia wearing this morning?
Penny couldn't recall
Lawyer: What grade is Sofia in?
Penny: Second grade. First
The lawyer pounced on what Penny didn’t know and this didn’t do well for the case. Callie did hope this wasn't too bad but as confirmed by their lawyer, it was very bad.
Point for Arizona
Bailey
Bailey as Chief of Surgery was examined on comparing Arizona and Callie's work schedules as surgeons.
Interesting to note that this is the same Bailey who officiated at Callie and Arizona's wedding and it is sad to see that she is now on the stand to be a witness at a custody battle between the divorced couple.
For a while there, I think Bailey forgot that she was not a lawyer. She blurted out "objection, speculation" in a lawyerly manner (this was the only humorous part of this episode) but she did go on and testified on what she knew about surgeon schedules, about being a woman surgeon and how noble the fetal surgery profession is.
It was a comparison of schedules of a doctor who does bones and a doctor who attends to babies. Basically comparing fetal and ortho surgery.
The lawyer's main question was : Which has more unpredictable surgeries?
It was established that due to the unpredictable nature of childbirth, Dr Robbins schedule is more unpredictable.
Evidence presented showed that:
Torres logged in 27 emergency procedures and Robbins logged in 92.
Lawyer: Wouldn't you call that schedule gruelling!
Bailey: I would say it's wildly successful. But i would never put a woman's success in the con column
Lawyer: 92 times she dropped everything, Sofia included, to go to a job
Bailey: Would you ask that if she were a man?
Lawyer : 92 times she chose work over a child.
Bailey: 92 times Dr Robbins was saving babies. Saving parents from losing their own babies!
Bailey was fully able to defend Arizona's side as a fetal surgeon who ably balanced her work with being a mother.
Arizona's lawyer's pep talk: “don't be discouraged . They're trying to turn your strength into weakness.”
Point for Callie
That evening, coming from court, Arizona stopped by again at the hospital checking on her patient who was disappointed that she will not be there to attend the scheduled medical procedure next day.
In a bar scene with Jo, Steph and Ben, Ben’s words which I suspect is the stand of the show, could not be more true: "A breakup is tough enough as it is but a kid in the mix...just because you're not the parent who gave birth to the kid doesn't make the kid any less yours"
On point.
Callie and Mer : The Custody Battle Over Bottles
Next scene shows Callie sweetly saying “I love you” to Sofia on the phone but ended it with a sad "No i don’t want to talk to mommy"
Callie and Mer were on
Callie’s bed with their respective wine bottles.
Callie: I feel gross. I feel gross. The court covered me in a layer of gross that no wine can wash away
Mer was quick to the rescue
Mer: Tequila?
This bottle-worthy talk paved the way for Callie to confide about her worries. Even nearing regret that she ever started this :
Callie: What if last night was our last night?
Mer: Stop saying that
Callie : I am doing this all wrong
Mer: Mark used to say that
Callie was surprised Mer brought up that Mark called Mer when he was helpless in taking care of Sofia. Interesting because Sofia had two mommies and didn't really have to call Mer.
Mer: the two of you were so on top of it, he didn't want you to know. He swore me to secrecy
Callie was pensive. As a self check, she knew Mark, her best friend and Sofia's birth father would not have liked this if he were alive.
Callie: He would hate this. So much. He would find it unacceptable.
I lie awake every night thinking maybeIi started something I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have to choose between a person I love and a person I love.
Mer: I hope u don’t have to.
Callie: I tried not to love Penny, Mer. I tried... so hard.
Mer: I know. This all sucks
Let me raise some points from this scene:
1. It’s great that the Merlie friendship is alive and well. A while back, it seemed that the Mer and Callie friendship faded but nope. It's back and it was wonderful to see Mer fully supported Callie. Callie does not have a female close friend aside from Penny. Mer was the amazing friend that Callie needed at this desperate hour.
2. Callie in the process of confiding to Mer, had let out how she might be regretting this move. Mentioning that she lies awake at night thinking about how she might have made a mistake with all this, just shows the amount of stress she was going through.
That she had already realized the consequences of her rash decisions that resulted in this unnecessary court battle. Maybe even some guilt there.
3. Adding what Mark may think of this situation to the story line was thoughtful of the writers. Mark is the birth dad of Sofia and whether we like it or not, we would be curious as to what his reaction to this mess would be, and Callie as the best friend who knows Mark well, knew he would not have been happy with this legal tussle.
4. Callie's words:
"I shouldn't have to choose between a person I love and a person I love" gives us insight on what burdens her on those nights she worries. She faces a dilemma because she does love Penny. She wants to go where love takes her. She is a woman who gives up things for love. But it now has become a situation where she is doomed to make a choice to give up the person she loves most (her child) for the new girl in her life who makes her happy and whom she loves.
Saying "I tried not to love Penny, Mer. I tried so hard" means Callie had been struggling with this internal dilemma. We can deduce that Callie has already seen this situation from a clearer perspective. She may have been impulsive in her decisions initially, but when she learned that Arizona wanted a lawyer between them, she may have thought this over many times and maybe had some regrets. She never really imagined it would come to this.
Sofia is Crabby
Arizona starts the new day by dropping Sofia off at Meredith's house and Amelia was there to welcome them.
Sofia was in a bad mood not wanting to separate from her mom. She woke up early and did not have breakfast.
Sofia was in her clingy-to-mama mood:
Sofia :I'm going with you
Arizona : ......Im sorry i love you
Sofia: I hate you
Thank goodness for Amelia who suggested that they find Zola to divert Sofia's focus.
What a way to start the day for Arizona. A day that would again involve a tense battle for this beautiful little child who just said she hates her. Such a morale booster kid. Tee hee.
Testimonies Part 2
Meredith
When Mer was on the stand, the lawyer established Mer's closeness with Callie, their kids being close and that they frequently play together. Also worthy of mention is how it came from Mer, in support of her testimony, that Penny is a very good person. Hearing Mer say this is touching because it signifies that the wounds have healed and she bears no more grudges against Penny.
Mer: And Dr Torres and Sofia couldn't possibly be any closer.
Lawyer: You see them together frequently over the years?
Mer: All the time. They went to the same day care and now they're at the same school. Sofia's actually at my house right now.
And Mer describes Penny and Sofia:
Mer: Great. Sofia loves Penny. She's a great kid like that. Very open to new people as long as they're good people and Penny is a very good person.
Everything was smooth until Arizona's lawyer turned it around. A brilliant maneuver I must say.
After she established Merlie's symbiotic relationship as two single mothers who help each other out with their kids, she led Mer to reply in defense of mothering and how a single parent is not a dirty word, not knowing that the lawyer was aiming for a different angle.
Mer: We lean on each other, it's not a sign of weakness or bad parenting.. It takes a village. And we have a village.
Lawyer: here in Seattle?
Exactly what the lawyer was aiming for. To establish the fact that Seattle is where Sofia is grounded
Lawyer : This essential network is all here in Seattle. Her friends, her school, her teachers her home is here in Seattle that's what Sofia would be leaving
Point for Arizona
Richard
Coach Wingman Webber's testimony started out positing the fact that Arizona is a brilliant peds surgeon, a renowned fetal surgeon and is a role model parent.
Callie's lawyer's sleuthing however, zeroed in on Arizona's and Wingman Webber's trivia a.k.a. going-back-to-dating night adventures.
Webber supporting Arizona in going back to the dating pool is one of the most wonderful things that happened in the midst of Arizona's loneliness. And their blooming friendship, long after their authority issues history, is a beautiful thing. It is sad that the lawyer had license to smear this alliance in that courtroom. She had found out that Webber had won 25 times in their trivia nightspot, 25 times during those "drinking and flirting days." In Arizona's words: slut shaming.
The lawyer produced the transcript of texts between Callie and Arizona where Arizona requested to switch Mommy duties with Callie 34 times.
Robbins had been made to appear unavailable to her child most of the time due to her job and her extra curricular activities. In figures, 150 over a 180 times, Arizona shirked her duties.
Callie: I feel gross. I feel gross. The court covered me in a layer of gross that no wine can wash away
Mer was quick to the rescue
Mer: Tequila?
This bottle-worthy talk paved the way for Callie to confide about her worries. Even nearing regret that she ever started this :
Callie: What if last night was our last night?
Mer: Stop saying that
Callie : I am doing this all wrong
Mer: Mark used to say that
Callie was surprised Mer brought up that Mark called Mer when he was helpless in taking care of Sofia. Interesting because Sofia had two mommies and didn't really have to call Mer.
Mer: the two of you were so on top of it, he didn't want you to know. He swore me to secrecy
Callie was pensive. As a self check, she knew Mark, her best friend and Sofia's birth father would not have liked this if he were alive.
Callie: He would hate this. So much. He would find it unacceptable.
I lie awake every night thinking maybeIi started something I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have to choose between a person I love and a person I love.
Mer: I hope u don’t have to.
Callie: I tried not to love Penny, Mer. I tried... so hard.
Mer: I know. This all sucks
Let me raise some points from this scene:
1. It’s great that the Merlie friendship is alive and well. A while back, it seemed that the Mer and Callie friendship faded but nope. It's back and it was wonderful to see Mer fully supported Callie. Callie does not have a female close friend aside from Penny. Mer was the amazing friend that Callie needed at this desperate hour.
2. Callie in the process of confiding to Mer, had let out how she might be regretting this move. Mentioning that she lies awake at night thinking about how she might have made a mistake with all this, just shows the amount of stress she was going through.
That she had already realized the consequences of her rash decisions that resulted in this unnecessary court battle. Maybe even some guilt there.
3. Adding what Mark may think of this situation to the story line was thoughtful of the writers. Mark is the birth dad of Sofia and whether we like it or not, we would be curious as to what his reaction to this mess would be, and Callie as the best friend who knows Mark well, knew he would not have been happy with this legal tussle.
4. Callie's words:
"I shouldn't have to choose between a person I love and a person I love" gives us insight on what burdens her on those nights she worries. She faces a dilemma because she does love Penny. She wants to go where love takes her. She is a woman who gives up things for love. But it now has become a situation where she is doomed to make a choice to give up the person she loves most (her child) for the new girl in her life who makes her happy and whom she loves.
Saying "I tried not to love Penny, Mer. I tried so hard" means Callie had been struggling with this internal dilemma. We can deduce that Callie has already seen this situation from a clearer perspective. She may have been impulsive in her decisions initially, but when she learned that Arizona wanted a lawyer between them, she may have thought this over many times and maybe had some regrets. She never really imagined it would come to this.
Sofia is Crabby
Arizona starts the new day by dropping Sofia off at Meredith's house and Amelia was there to welcome them.
Sofia was in a bad mood not wanting to separate from her mom. She woke up early and did not have breakfast.
Sofia was in her clingy-to-mama mood:
Sofia :I'm going with you
Arizona : ......Im sorry i love you
Sofia: I hate you
Thank goodness for Amelia who suggested that they find Zola to divert Sofia's focus.
What a way to start the day for Arizona. A day that would again involve a tense battle for this beautiful little child who just said she hates her. Such a morale booster kid. Tee hee.
Testimonies Part 2
Meredith
When Mer was on the stand, the lawyer established Mer's closeness with Callie, their kids being close and that they frequently play together. Also worthy of mention is how it came from Mer, in support of her testimony, that Penny is a very good person. Hearing Mer say this is touching because it signifies that the wounds have healed and she bears no more grudges against Penny.
Mer: And Dr Torres and Sofia couldn't possibly be any closer.
Lawyer: You see them together frequently over the years?
Mer: All the time. They went to the same day care and now they're at the same school. Sofia's actually at my house right now.
And Mer describes Penny and Sofia:
Mer: Great. Sofia loves Penny. She's a great kid like that. Very open to new people as long as they're good people and Penny is a very good person.
Everything was smooth until Arizona's lawyer turned it around. A brilliant maneuver I must say.
After she established Merlie's symbiotic relationship as two single mothers who help each other out with their kids, she led Mer to reply in defense of mothering and how a single parent is not a dirty word, not knowing that the lawyer was aiming for a different angle.
Mer: We lean on each other, it's not a sign of weakness or bad parenting.. It takes a village. And we have a village.
Lawyer: here in Seattle?
Exactly what the lawyer was aiming for. To establish the fact that Seattle is where Sofia is grounded
Lawyer : This essential network is all here in Seattle. Her friends, her school, her teachers her home is here in Seattle that's what Sofia would be leaving
Point for Arizona
Richard
Coach Wingman Webber's testimony started out positing the fact that Arizona is a brilliant peds surgeon, a renowned fetal surgeon and is a role model parent.
Callie's lawyer's sleuthing however, zeroed in on Arizona's and Wingman Webber's trivia a.k.a. going-back-to-dating night adventures.
Webber supporting Arizona in going back to the dating pool is one of the most wonderful things that happened in the midst of Arizona's loneliness. And their blooming friendship, long after their authority issues history, is a beautiful thing. It is sad that the lawyer had license to smear this alliance in that courtroom. She had found out that Webber had won 25 times in their trivia nightspot, 25 times during those "drinking and flirting days." In Arizona's words: slut shaming.
The lawyer produced the transcript of texts between Callie and Arizona where Arizona requested to switch Mommy duties with Callie 34 times.
Robbins had been made to appear unavailable to her child most of the time due to her job and her extra curricular activities. In figures, 150 over a 180 times, Arizona shirked her duties.
Point to Callie.
In a huddle with her lawyer, Arizona was visibly upset. She deserved happiness too. There was nothing wrong with dipping her toes in the dating pool again, because it had been a really long time since she last dated anyone. I think it was Leah easy peasy lemon squeezy whom she last dated? So there was absolutely nothing wrong with going to that nightspot often with her Wingman trivia-aficionado Webber.
Arizona: So Callie's okay slut shaming me now? They're making me sound like a working mom is a bad mom. We just lost in there right? Cause they made me sound like i was a selfish irresponsible, sex crazed...
Lawyer: Arizona, stop. You have your chance right now.
They tried to rewrite your story, now's your chance to set it straight.
You need to get up there, tell them the truth. Judge Kean is smart. She'll know the truth when she hears it. You tell the truth and you will win this .
Her lawyer's advice made it sound easy. It was as simple as telling the whole unadulterated truth and Arizona could be the winner in this crap of a battle.
Callie and Arizona also took the stand, and both their testimonies evoked much emotion. As they both cried, we cried.
The Reason that Callie is Still Alive Today
Callie recalled how she became a mother.
Lawyer : When Sofia was born, how did that day start for you?
Callie: I was in a car accident.
Callie couldn’t help but shed tears, recollecting the harrowing accident and Arizona appeared to be affected by the recollection. It brought back intense memories. It was good to see Arizona react with empathy. This was not a time to be proud or arrogant. One way or another, Arizona was moved by Callie's testimony.
Callie: I was barely conscious and the only thing that i could feel was just pain all over . I could have died on the hood of that car and i wanted to give up but i couldn't because i was pregnant with Sofia. And if i died, she died, so i had to fight to stay alive for my daughter's sake. Being a mother is the reason I'm still alive today.
This is a new perspective on Callie. We always took that incident at face value-- that she almost died in that accident , and then had a child in whose birth survival Arizona played an important part in. I never really dwelt on how Callie felt at the time. I was focused on her survival and how she wanted to recover fast so that she can hold her newly- born baby.
I did not know that the main driving force that made her fight to survive was for Sofia to live.
This therefore gives us a fresh insight on how much love Callie has for Sofia even before she was born. Such is the love of a birth mother. It is whole, and unconditional. Nothing could be purer.
Callie fought to survive for Sofia's sake. And the reason she is alive today is because of Sofia.
Point to Callie.
DNA Does Not Make a Family, Love Does
During Arizona's turn on the stand, she explained how she had become Sofia's mother. And her testimony revealed, as she said it out loud for the first time, that she legally adopted Sofia. We had always assumed this but let us mark this episode as the one where she explicitly said it.
Callie's lawyer's line of questioning got a little too insulting for comfort when she kept badgering Arizona about Sofia's last names being Sloan and Torres. But regardless of her emotional state, Arizona handled it excellently. How dare they question her legality as a parent just because she does not share Sofia's DNA.
This was a very sensitive issue that was tackled and if ever it did anything good, at least we saw how an adoptive mother stood up for her right to motherhood of a child she has chosen to love and call as her own.
Lawyer : Dr Robbins you were with Dr Torres before she was pregnant.
Arizona: Yes
Lawyer: Were you together before she was pregnant?
Arizona : No
Lawyer: So her pregnancy wasn’t an agreement you entered into together, correct?
Arizona : No
Lawyer: It was an agreement she entered into with Dr Mark Sloan.
Arizona: They agreed after the fact but yes, Mark was Sofia's father.
Callie and I, were together, we were a couple before the pregnancy and then after Sofia was conceived.
Lawyer: So you became a part of the parenting plan later, correct? Just to be clear Dr Sloan and Dr Torres were Sofia's parents and then you came around
Arizona: No i didn't . I didn't come around. I'm Sofia's mother. I legally adopted her.
Lawyer: Her last names are Sloan and Torres.
Arizona : I'm gonna have to stop you before you continue for your own sake. You're not gonna imply that I am any less Sofia's mother because we don't share the same DNA.
Lawyer: Dr Robbins, excuse me
Arizona : Because that would be offensive. That would be offensive to anyone in the room who has an adopted child or is an adopted child and for you to say that... I chose to be Sofia's mother. It did not fall into my lap. There was a choice and i could stay and i could run and i chose motherhood, and it was the best choice that I have ever made.
Arizona's phone kept ringing throughout her testimony and begged to be answered . So she finally asked to be allowed to look at her phone where she saw April's emergency text.
She needed to leave for the hospital. So she gave this moving speech:
"I love my child. And i want her with me but i know that no matter how this ends she'll survive. She'll be healthy and safe and taken care of and loved because we are her mothers."
I observed Callie during this speech and it seemed she was moved by what Arizona said. Arizona by her words, had implied that even if they were at odds, she totally trusts that Callie is a good mom to Sofia. They may be currently in a battle and whoever wins, she is confident that Sofia is in safe hands.
"But there is a child in the hospital who will not survive unless I’m there so I have to..."
And Arizona left the courtroom to everyone's surprise. Her phone ringing during her testimony, and her leaving the courtroom was dramatic, so I assume artistic license was utilized in this scene. I doubt if any court will allow a mobile phone ringing loosely in court and I doubt if anyone can just leave a courtroom in a huff as Arizona did.
Arizona's Badass Surgery
Well this is Grey's Anatomy and anything is possible. Arizona had to leave this crappy custody court case because she had badass fetal surgeon duty at the hospital.
And boy, did Arizona make me uber proud by performing such a badass procedure. Yep, she actually asked a lesser doctor to scrub out and went on to return a premie back to the mom's belly.
"I'm gonna put that baby back in there so it can cook a little bit more. How does that sound to you?"
As Karev concurred, the baby had better chances of survival if it stayed inside for the time being.
A fetus that was already out of the mom's womb and already exposed to earth, well renowned fetal surgeon Dr Robbins just put it right back into the belly. If that isn't the most badass fetal surgery we've seen in a while on Grey's, then I don't know what is.
Arizona saved the day at the hospital. I kept thinking how relevant this was to the court battle going on simultaneously with this medical case, and I analyzed It was as if the show was making us reminisce that day when she also saved the day for Callie and Sofia. When after fighting her doubts and anxiety, she went ahead and significantly took over Sofia's crucial birth. Remember when she was so badass in the musical episode and brought tears to our eyes when she was in the process of trying to save Sofia, the child of the love of her life, and triumphantly said "We have a heartbeat"
(Yes, that was when the cast and the imaginary spirit Callie were happily singing How to Save a Life). Good times.
The inspirational song "Rise Up", plays in the background, adding to the strong mixed emotions of us being proud of Arizona for her badassness in the O.R. then segue to her scene sitting on the bench outside the courthouse, probably contemplating the impending result of the case. The judge was due to issue a decision soonest.
Callie and Arizona Sitting on the Bench
Surprisingly, Callie joined her at the bench.
(Aside: I fancied seeing them side by side on that bench. I really didn't care if they were at odds. I just had this cozy and peaceful feeling seeing them sit together. I remember that time they were discussing Callie’s work woes with each other on a bench at the park, way back when Sofia was not even a figment of anyone's imagination yet. And it was one of their picturesque sweetest moments.
On my 5th re-watch, the amusement I was feeling toward this bench scene turned to an ache. I so badly want them to be together again. )
It was a positive gesture on Callie's part to sit beside Arizona even if they were on opposing sides. She was touched by Arizona's last speech. That they are both Sofia's mothers . And that Arizona knows that Callie is a good mother.
Callie: No matter what the judge decides, i know that you're a good mom too. And i just want you to know that this does not change that
Callie was thankful for what Arizona said on the stand earlier and seemed conciliatory.
However, Arizona was affected by the scathing words from Callie's lawyer during the proceedings that she had to let Callie know:
"Things that you let them say about me, I would never have done that to you. Never."
This hurt. I think that even if they had gone to court, Arizona knew her limits. A custody battle can be ugly as hell but she still retained respect for Callie. She did not allow her lawyer to engage in below the belt mudslinging out in the open. Arizona's dating game, making her appear slutty in the eyes of the court could have been left out, among others.
For Callie, maybe a court battle is still a battle, so it is up to both parties to choose which points to emphasize in order to ensure a win, no holds barred.
Nonetheless, Arizona played decent but Callie took the competition a bit too far for Arizona's liking.
Callie seemed to have been taken aback by Arizona's statement. Realizing too late that maybe she had gone overboard, but was not able to say anything. She did seem sorry but I guess the apologies would be set aside for later as they were interrupted by Penny that they were needed inside because the judge was waiting for them.
Still, the glorious song "Rise Up" reverberated through ...as the verdict was made but not heard nor seen on screen. They chose to let us viewers visually realize who the victor was...
I could not ignore the lyrics of the song as it took over my attention as the drama of the court battle results unfolded on my screen...
"I rise up i rise up
And I'd do it a thousand times again"
The Verdict
"If you’re wondering how the Solomon story ends , spoiler alert the true mom would rather give her baby up than have it ripped in two. But what happens when there are two true mothers"
The effect by which this revelation of the winner was executed was absolutely perfect.
They didn't spoon feed us, they used the dramatic cinematic option. Which of course killed me.
Mer had guided Sofia to the door where Arizona was waiting .
Sofia was there, innocent, unknowing of what transpired that day. She had nary an inkling that both mothers whom she adored had been battling over her. And there she was, fresh from her play date with Zola, smiling and clinging to her mom, just wanting to go home, probably thinking of what toy to play with next. Her innocent reactions made me cry the most .
Then Mer reverts to where Callie was standing close by, crying uncontrollably.
Callie: How the hell did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
Callie was distraught. All feeling of loss was evident. My heart was breaking even more for Callie. It broke me. Just the previous morning at the beginning of the episode, it was she who brought Sofia over to Mer's. And now at the end of the episode, it was Arizona who was taking Sofia from Mer's house.
Symbolic touch by the production but very painful for the viewer.
Mer hugged Callie. Thank goodness Mer was there for her. The surprising twist though was when Penny comforted Callie by holding her hand, Callie brushed it aside. I for one did not expect nor understand that.
Callie and Penny Prospects
Maybe Callie had blamed Penny in a way, not because she forgot what grade Sofia was in or what Sofia was wearing that day, but because if it weren't for Penny, the grant, and decision to leave, she would not be in this situation where she ended up losing her daughter.
Maybe in Callie's mind, she had begun to love and welcomed a new woman into her life but then the trade-off was one she could not afford--losing her daughter. A daughter she loves so much more than anything else in the world.
Maybe when the reality of losing custody of Sofia crashed upon her, Callie took it out on Penny.
So that puts a severe strain on Penny and Callie's relationship. To be honest, the future seems bleak for the Penelliope tandem.
I don't want to think if it is unfair to Penny that Callie feels this loss of love.
Neither do I want to ask myself why I feel sorry for Penny. I'm certain she didn't want this outcome either. It was not her fault that Callie lost the case.
Nor was it her fault that Callie lost custody of her daughter.
It was all Callie's decision.
Neither can we blame Callie for feeling contempt toward Penny. Feelings are feelings. Callie did not force herself to feel this way about Penny. Feelings just ARE.
If yesterday, Callie felt that she loved Penny so much that she was willing to drop everything for her, her career, her friends, her support system, and was all set to move to New York with Penny and Sofia, today is a totally different story. Feelings are double edged and no human can force herself to feel.
Callie may even felt blindsided by this love for Penny for it had caused her to lose the one person she loved most in her life. The child she carried in her womb, the child whom she fought hard to live for and the only reason she is on earth today.
All these factors may have led Callie to lose feelings for Penny. It is likely that she had begun to equate her relationship with Penny as the reason that she lost her child. If her feelings had transformed from love to bitterness, and had lost love for Penny, that is what her heart says and no one could stop that.
Arizona’s Side
As for Arizona, the only reason she invited a lawyer to intervene was the fear of losing a child she loved most. Callie was all set to move across the country and was determined to bring Sofia with her. Even though Callie consulted Arizona on their arrangements, she did not consider Arizona's feelings on the planned move. Callie seemed to have been too carried away by her love for Penny that she overlooked how the other mother would be affected.
Arizona only feared losing a child whom she lovingly chose to be a mother to. A child who did not come from her womb but a child chosen by her heart.
She did not want a custody battle. But the situation called for it. As she said, she had to protect herself. She had rights. She is Sofia's mother too.
It hurts her to be judged as having less rights over Sofia just because they do not share the same DNA. It is admirable how in spite of getting discouraged by this uphill battle, she did fight hard for her parental rights for Sofia. Creds to Webber's pep talk.
If Callie had not scheduled to move to New York with Penny, their custody arrangement would have remained smooth as before.
The situation called for this. And even though one was declared winner, in reality, no one really won. Because if there was one person who had lost the most in this stupidity of a battle, it was Sofia.
Sofia has two mothers and it is unfair for her to just experience time with just one, when both parents are alive and well.
Arizona did win but she knows how much Callie loves their child. She knows that Callie is a good mom and does it have to mean that winning this custody battle makes her that person who withholds her other mother from Sofia? In this case, victory is not as sweet. The win actually feels like a loss too.
Arizona did not set out to gain sole custody of Sofia just for selfishness. It was clear that she was just fearful of losing Sofia whom she wanted to stay in Seattle. It was not her fault that Callie had impulsively made a decision to leave.
Callie’s Side
In a huddle with her lawyer, Arizona was visibly upset. She deserved happiness too. There was nothing wrong with dipping her toes in the dating pool again, because it had been a really long time since she last dated anyone. I think it was Leah easy peasy lemon squeezy whom she last dated? So there was absolutely nothing wrong with going to that nightspot often with her Wingman trivia-aficionado Webber.
Arizona: So Callie's okay slut shaming me now? They're making me sound like a working mom is a bad mom. We just lost in there right? Cause they made me sound like i was a selfish irresponsible, sex crazed...
Lawyer: Arizona, stop. You have your chance right now.
They tried to rewrite your story, now's your chance to set it straight.
You need to get up there, tell them the truth. Judge Kean is smart. She'll know the truth when she hears it. You tell the truth and you will win this .
Her lawyer's advice made it sound easy. It was as simple as telling the whole unadulterated truth and Arizona could be the winner in this crap of a battle.
Callie and Arizona also took the stand, and both their testimonies evoked much emotion. As they both cried, we cried.
The Reason that Callie is Still Alive Today
Callie recalled how she became a mother.
Lawyer : When Sofia was born, how did that day start for you?
Callie: I was in a car accident.
Callie couldn’t help but shed tears, recollecting the harrowing accident and Arizona appeared to be affected by the recollection. It brought back intense memories. It was good to see Arizona react with empathy. This was not a time to be proud or arrogant. One way or another, Arizona was moved by Callie's testimony.
Callie: I was barely conscious and the only thing that i could feel was just pain all over . I could have died on the hood of that car and i wanted to give up but i couldn't because i was pregnant with Sofia. And if i died, she died, so i had to fight to stay alive for my daughter's sake. Being a mother is the reason I'm still alive today.
This is a new perspective on Callie. We always took that incident at face value-- that she almost died in that accident , and then had a child in whose birth survival Arizona played an important part in. I never really dwelt on how Callie felt at the time. I was focused on her survival and how she wanted to recover fast so that she can hold her newly- born baby.
I did not know that the main driving force that made her fight to survive was for Sofia to live.
This therefore gives us a fresh insight on how much love Callie has for Sofia even before she was born. Such is the love of a birth mother. It is whole, and unconditional. Nothing could be purer.
Callie fought to survive for Sofia's sake. And the reason she is alive today is because of Sofia.
Point to Callie.
DNA Does Not Make a Family, Love Does
During Arizona's turn on the stand, she explained how she had become Sofia's mother. And her testimony revealed, as she said it out loud for the first time, that she legally adopted Sofia. We had always assumed this but let us mark this episode as the one where she explicitly said it.
Callie's lawyer's line of questioning got a little too insulting for comfort when she kept badgering Arizona about Sofia's last names being Sloan and Torres. But regardless of her emotional state, Arizona handled it excellently. How dare they question her legality as a parent just because she does not share Sofia's DNA.
This was a very sensitive issue that was tackled and if ever it did anything good, at least we saw how an adoptive mother stood up for her right to motherhood of a child she has chosen to love and call as her own.
Lawyer : Dr Robbins you were with Dr Torres before she was pregnant.
Arizona: Yes
Lawyer: Were you together before she was pregnant?
Arizona : No
Lawyer: So her pregnancy wasn’t an agreement you entered into together, correct?
Arizona : No
Lawyer: It was an agreement she entered into with Dr Mark Sloan.
Arizona: They agreed after the fact but yes, Mark was Sofia's father.
Callie and I, were together, we were a couple before the pregnancy and then after Sofia was conceived.
Lawyer: So you became a part of the parenting plan later, correct? Just to be clear Dr Sloan and Dr Torres were Sofia's parents and then you came around
Arizona: No i didn't . I didn't come around. I'm Sofia's mother. I legally adopted her.
Lawyer: Her last names are Sloan and Torres.
Arizona : I'm gonna have to stop you before you continue for your own sake. You're not gonna imply that I am any less Sofia's mother because we don't share the same DNA.
Lawyer: Dr Robbins, excuse me
Arizona : Because that would be offensive. That would be offensive to anyone in the room who has an adopted child or is an adopted child and for you to say that... I chose to be Sofia's mother. It did not fall into my lap. There was a choice and i could stay and i could run and i chose motherhood, and it was the best choice that I have ever made.
Arizona's phone kept ringing throughout her testimony and begged to be answered . So she finally asked to be allowed to look at her phone where she saw April's emergency text.
She needed to leave for the hospital. So she gave this moving speech:
"I love my child. And i want her with me but i know that no matter how this ends she'll survive. She'll be healthy and safe and taken care of and loved because we are her mothers."
I observed Callie during this speech and it seemed she was moved by what Arizona said. Arizona by her words, had implied that even if they were at odds, she totally trusts that Callie is a good mom to Sofia. They may be currently in a battle and whoever wins, she is confident that Sofia is in safe hands.
"But there is a child in the hospital who will not survive unless I’m there so I have to..."
And Arizona left the courtroom to everyone's surprise. Her phone ringing during her testimony, and her leaving the courtroom was dramatic, so I assume artistic license was utilized in this scene. I doubt if any court will allow a mobile phone ringing loosely in court and I doubt if anyone can just leave a courtroom in a huff as Arizona did.
Arizona's Badass Surgery
Well this is Grey's Anatomy and anything is possible. Arizona had to leave this crappy custody court case because she had badass fetal surgeon duty at the hospital.
And boy, did Arizona make me uber proud by performing such a badass procedure. Yep, she actually asked a lesser doctor to scrub out and went on to return a premie back to the mom's belly.
"I'm gonna put that baby back in there so it can cook a little bit more. How does that sound to you?"
As Karev concurred, the baby had better chances of survival if it stayed inside for the time being.
A fetus that was already out of the mom's womb and already exposed to earth, well renowned fetal surgeon Dr Robbins just put it right back into the belly. If that isn't the most badass fetal surgery we've seen in a while on Grey's, then I don't know what is.
Arizona saved the day at the hospital. I kept thinking how relevant this was to the court battle going on simultaneously with this medical case, and I analyzed It was as if the show was making us reminisce that day when she also saved the day for Callie and Sofia. When after fighting her doubts and anxiety, she went ahead and significantly took over Sofia's crucial birth. Remember when she was so badass in the musical episode and brought tears to our eyes when she was in the process of trying to save Sofia, the child of the love of her life, and triumphantly said "We have a heartbeat"
(Yes, that was when the cast and the imaginary spirit Callie were happily singing How to Save a Life). Good times.
The inspirational song "Rise Up", plays in the background, adding to the strong mixed emotions of us being proud of Arizona for her badassness in the O.R. then segue to her scene sitting on the bench outside the courthouse, probably contemplating the impending result of the case. The judge was due to issue a decision soonest.
Callie and Arizona Sitting on the Bench
Surprisingly, Callie joined her at the bench.
(Aside: I fancied seeing them side by side on that bench. I really didn't care if they were at odds. I just had this cozy and peaceful feeling seeing them sit together. I remember that time they were discussing Callie’s work woes with each other on a bench at the park, way back when Sofia was not even a figment of anyone's imagination yet. And it was one of their picturesque sweetest moments.
On my 5th re-watch, the amusement I was feeling toward this bench scene turned to an ache. I so badly want them to be together again. )
It was a positive gesture on Callie's part to sit beside Arizona even if they were on opposing sides. She was touched by Arizona's last speech. That they are both Sofia's mothers . And that Arizona knows that Callie is a good mother.
Callie: No matter what the judge decides, i know that you're a good mom too. And i just want you to know that this does not change that
Callie was thankful for what Arizona said on the stand earlier and seemed conciliatory.
However, Arizona was affected by the scathing words from Callie's lawyer during the proceedings that she had to let Callie know:
"Things that you let them say about me, I would never have done that to you. Never."
This hurt. I think that even if they had gone to court, Arizona knew her limits. A custody battle can be ugly as hell but she still retained respect for Callie. She did not allow her lawyer to engage in below the belt mudslinging out in the open. Arizona's dating game, making her appear slutty in the eyes of the court could have been left out, among others.
For Callie, maybe a court battle is still a battle, so it is up to both parties to choose which points to emphasize in order to ensure a win, no holds barred.
Nonetheless, Arizona played decent but Callie took the competition a bit too far for Arizona's liking.
Callie seemed to have been taken aback by Arizona's statement. Realizing too late that maybe she had gone overboard, but was not able to say anything. She did seem sorry but I guess the apologies would be set aside for later as they were interrupted by Penny that they were needed inside because the judge was waiting for them.
Still, the glorious song "Rise Up" reverberated through ...as the verdict was made but not heard nor seen on screen. They chose to let us viewers visually realize who the victor was...
I could not ignore the lyrics of the song as it took over my attention as the drama of the court battle results unfolded on my screen...
"I rise up i rise up
And I'd do it a thousand times again"
The Verdict
"If you’re wondering how the Solomon story ends , spoiler alert the true mom would rather give her baby up than have it ripped in two. But what happens when there are two true mothers"
The effect by which this revelation of the winner was executed was absolutely perfect.
They didn't spoon feed us, they used the dramatic cinematic option. Which of course killed me.
Mer had guided Sofia to the door where Arizona was waiting .
Sofia was there, innocent, unknowing of what transpired that day. She had nary an inkling that both mothers whom she adored had been battling over her. And there she was, fresh from her play date with Zola, smiling and clinging to her mom, just wanting to go home, probably thinking of what toy to play with next. Her innocent reactions made me cry the most .
Then Mer reverts to where Callie was standing close by, crying uncontrollably.
Callie: How the hell did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
Callie was distraught. All feeling of loss was evident. My heart was breaking even more for Callie. It broke me. Just the previous morning at the beginning of the episode, it was she who brought Sofia over to Mer's. And now at the end of the episode, it was Arizona who was taking Sofia from Mer's house.
Symbolic touch by the production but very painful for the viewer.
Mer hugged Callie. Thank goodness Mer was there for her. The surprising twist though was when Penny comforted Callie by holding her hand, Callie brushed it aside. I for one did not expect nor understand that.
Callie and Penny Prospects
Maybe Callie had blamed Penny in a way, not because she forgot what grade Sofia was in or what Sofia was wearing that day, but because if it weren't for Penny, the grant, and decision to leave, she would not be in this situation where she ended up losing her daughter.
Maybe in Callie's mind, she had begun to love and welcomed a new woman into her life but then the trade-off was one she could not afford--losing her daughter. A daughter she loves so much more than anything else in the world.
Maybe when the reality of losing custody of Sofia crashed upon her, Callie took it out on Penny.
So that puts a severe strain on Penny and Callie's relationship. To be honest, the future seems bleak for the Penelliope tandem.
I don't want to think if it is unfair to Penny that Callie feels this loss of love.
Neither do I want to ask myself why I feel sorry for Penny. I'm certain she didn't want this outcome either. It was not her fault that Callie lost the case.
Nor was it her fault that Callie lost custody of her daughter.
It was all Callie's decision.
Neither can we blame Callie for feeling contempt toward Penny. Feelings are feelings. Callie did not force herself to feel this way about Penny. Feelings just ARE.
If yesterday, Callie felt that she loved Penny so much that she was willing to drop everything for her, her career, her friends, her support system, and was all set to move to New York with Penny and Sofia, today is a totally different story. Feelings are double edged and no human can force herself to feel.
Callie may even felt blindsided by this love for Penny for it had caused her to lose the one person she loved most in her life. The child she carried in her womb, the child whom she fought hard to live for and the only reason she is on earth today.
All these factors may have led Callie to lose feelings for Penny. It is likely that she had begun to equate her relationship with Penny as the reason that she lost her child. If her feelings had transformed from love to bitterness, and had lost love for Penny, that is what her heart says and no one could stop that.
Arizona’s Side
As for Arizona, the only reason she invited a lawyer to intervene was the fear of losing a child she loved most. Callie was all set to move across the country and was determined to bring Sofia with her. Even though Callie consulted Arizona on their arrangements, she did not consider Arizona's feelings on the planned move. Callie seemed to have been too carried away by her love for Penny that she overlooked how the other mother would be affected.
Arizona only feared losing a child whom she lovingly chose to be a mother to. A child who did not come from her womb but a child chosen by her heart.
She did not want a custody battle. But the situation called for it. As she said, she had to protect herself. She had rights. She is Sofia's mother too.
It hurts her to be judged as having less rights over Sofia just because they do not share the same DNA. It is admirable how in spite of getting discouraged by this uphill battle, she did fight hard for her parental rights for Sofia. Creds to Webber's pep talk.
If Callie had not scheduled to move to New York with Penny, their custody arrangement would have remained smooth as before.
The situation called for this. And even though one was declared winner, in reality, no one really won. Because if there was one person who had lost the most in this stupidity of a battle, it was Sofia.
Sofia has two mothers and it is unfair for her to just experience time with just one, when both parents are alive and well.
Arizona did win but she knows how much Callie loves their child. She knows that Callie is a good mom and does it have to mean that winning this custody battle makes her that person who withholds her other mother from Sofia? In this case, victory is not as sweet. The win actually feels like a loss too.
Arizona did not set out to gain sole custody of Sofia just for selfishness. It was clear that she was just fearful of losing Sofia whom she wanted to stay in Seattle. It was not her fault that Callie had impulsively made a decision to leave.
Callie’s Side
On Callie's part, she is devastated by all this especially now that the reality of the situation has sunk in.
To back track, Callie's only fault (it is not even a fault) was that she fell in love. It was a love she deserved. Penny may have been everything that she looked for in someone. Penny loved her a lot. Penny did not make her feel consumed nor empty. Maybe she and Penny were both giving to each other.
Our 'poster child for love' Callie Torres chose the life she wanted. She chose to live for love. She only wanted happiness with the new love in her life. She may have recklessly decided to go to New York and drop her career even if the grant was only to be for one year.
Callie's sole desire was to go all out on her love for Penny. Callie is a heart-over-mind girl. She lets her heart decide and take the lead. Love comes first. Over career, over everything else, but realized there is one exception-- her child Sofia.
The problem is, she went overboard and seemed to have forgotten to consider her co-parent's sentiments.
How did it happen? Of course she could not fathom how she being the birth mother, would lose child custody.
When Adoptive Mother Wins Against Birth Mother
Many have been up in arms about how it happened that a child's birth mother could lose custody of a child in favor of the adoptive mother. Some have been disappointed about how this story turned out, saying in reality, this could not have ended this way.
Fictional or not, let me give my two cents.
Firstly, I am grateful to Grey's Anatomy for bringing forth to television an issue that may be faced by same sex marriages. Again, it is admirable that such a great long running show treats a lesbian couple just like any other ordinary couple facing marital woes and with a child in the midst of it all. It does not distinguish between parents who are of the same or opposite genders. It shows us the dynamic on how lesbian marriages can have such a problem and how the characters handle the sensitive situation, which involves a birth mother and an adoptive mother.
It is easy to belittle the status of an adoptive mother. She is not the person who carried the child in her womb for months. The child does not share her blood nor DNA. So in this case, why was water thicker than blood?
Arizona had legally adopted Sofia. Even if Callie and Mark were Sofia's birth parents, as soon as Arizona was legally recognized as adoptive mother, Arizona has gained rights to being Sofia's mother, equal to Callie the birth mother.
So once they filed this custody case in court, both were on equal footing.
Many had doubted and questioned for the longest time if Arizona had legally adopted Sofia because it never happened on screen. This episode makes that crystal clear that yes, it did happen off screen sometime ago. So all contention as to why this case even had credence to merit a court case, are now debunked.
The fact that they both set foot in court means that both have equal rights to do so because Callie and Arizona are both legally recognized as Sofia's parents. Ergo, by law, they both have equal rights to win or lose the case.
I would not want to say that if Callie won, the pain of losing Sofia would be less for Arizona as it is now for Callie. I do not want to go there because who are we to judge on who loves Sofia more. Both are her mothers regardless of who gave birth to her. Both love her more than anything.
Both would give everything for their child. So the judge chose the victor based on all the testimonies and evidence presented to her and the judge thought this through carefully with all factors considered.
A custody battle is won, not only because of the characters or personalities involved, but above all, decisions are made based on what circumstances would be for the best interests of the child. As the judge said in the beginning, they are all on the side of a six year old child. The court had decided on what would be best for Sofia.
Why Did Arizona Win?
Gathering my own data on the witnesses’ testimony, her lawyer's winning strategy during Penny and Mer's turn and that
closing statement by Arizona before she left in a huff, I think, was what
swayed the judge’s decision. As advised by her lawyer, Arizona defended herself
from how the opposing lawyer demolished her personality in the eyes of the
court. She had the weapon of truth on her side. Having a successful career was
not an aberration to raising a child.
Also, her earnestness in saying that she knew that whatever
the results would be, that Sofia will be
well taken care of and loved because she and Callie were the mothers , may have
gotten the judge’s vote. It was a noble statement. Not saying that Callie’s
testimony was weaker but we saw that Arizona’s statement even struck a chord with
Callie.
Sure, Arizona won. But did she, really? She with the
stunned look on her face with a faraway gaze as her daughter Sofia clung to her
at the end scene.
Mer's ending voice-over breaks it to us gently:
"Its a no-win situation . And that is an entirely different story"
Post script
This episode was meant to leave us heartbroken. It was one of those episodes that you will watch again and again even if it tears your soul to bits.
The custody battle that no one ever wanted to happen, happened.
A custody battle that has one winner and one loser. And the child is left with one mother. So in that case, no one really wins.
As expected, the lawyers made an unbearable situation even worse. The lawyering strategy of twisting words and facts and painting an unpleasant picture of each of them to prove that one is a more deserving and more able mom than the other.
Their friends were placed in a tricky situation where they were constrained to choose sides, but the witnesses were shared so this was easier to bear.
Articles about the next episode suggest that there might be awkwardness in the hospital among the doctors who "took sides" in the case. I think that each team just did that to support Callie and Arizona and I believe that if ever there are hard feelings because of this, it will heal in no time. After all, they are all friends at the hospital to begin with. Taking sides was necessary and understandable.
The episode was aesthetically pleasing. It was not your usual Grey’s Anatomy episode filled with white coats and OR scenes. The colors and atmosphere of the location shots added to the texture of the episode. It is always a welcome sight to see the doctors in regular non-doctor attire. Callie and Arizona looked stunning in their black courtroom garb. And the sisters at Mer's house were casually cute in their house wear.
I highly praise Kevin Mc Kidd's work, as he gave sensitive and full attention to the details of the episode. His thoughtful use of color, toys Sofia played with, the relaxing outdoor shots, neutralized the otherwise tense scenes. I would rank this as one of my top fav episodes of the season not because it is Calzona centered, well yeah of course because of that, but because Kevin as director made the episode fresh, in various aspects.
Mer's ending voice-over breaks it to us gently:
"Its a no-win situation . And that is an entirely different story"
Post script
This episode was meant to leave us heartbroken. It was one of those episodes that you will watch again and again even if it tears your soul to bits.
The custody battle that no one ever wanted to happen, happened.
A custody battle that has one winner and one loser. And the child is left with one mother. So in that case, no one really wins.
As expected, the lawyers made an unbearable situation even worse. The lawyering strategy of twisting words and facts and painting an unpleasant picture of each of them to prove that one is a more deserving and more able mom than the other.
Their friends were placed in a tricky situation where they were constrained to choose sides, but the witnesses were shared so this was easier to bear.
Articles about the next episode suggest that there might be awkwardness in the hospital among the doctors who "took sides" in the case. I think that each team just did that to support Callie and Arizona and I believe that if ever there are hard feelings because of this, it will heal in no time. After all, they are all friends at the hospital to begin with. Taking sides was necessary and understandable.
The episode was aesthetically pleasing. It was not your usual Grey’s Anatomy episode filled with white coats and OR scenes. The colors and atmosphere of the location shots added to the texture of the episode. It is always a welcome sight to see the doctors in regular non-doctor attire. Callie and Arizona looked stunning in their black courtroom garb. And the sisters at Mer's house were casually cute in their house wear.
I highly praise Kevin Mc Kidd's work, as he gave sensitive and full attention to the details of the episode. His thoughtful use of color, toys Sofia played with, the relaxing outdoor shots, neutralized the otherwise tense scenes. I would rank this as one of my top fav episodes of the season not because it is Calzona centered, well yeah of course because of that, but because Kevin as director made the episode fresh, in various aspects.
If you hear that an
episode is about a custody battle, you would expect a drab setting with all the
boring courtroom elements. But this one had a different look and feel to
it. His artistic approach to the episode made me feel the tension and emotion
with his courtroom shots and Calzona lawyer huddle discussions but he balanced
them all out with his fresh, attractive
presentation of scenes that involve Sofia, making us not forget that this
episode is not just about the courtroom brawl of the Calzona pairing, but
is also about the well-being of a sweet, beautiful happy child who has a ready smile
on her face, who readily hugs her moms and her mom's friends and who
really only cares about playing with her toys, her playmate and being with her
moms. This episode is indeed something Kevin should be proud of.
Words are not enough to describe how much I was moved by the sensitive acting of Sara Ramirez and Jessica Capshaw, who brought their A-Game to this episode, and most especially Eva Ariel Binder.
Eva played Sofia perfectly. One simply cannot help but cry seeing that adorable face say "you’re hugging me too tight. You’re hugging me too long" which incidentally is my favorite scene of this episode. For me, just those two sentences from Eva Ariel was Emmy-worthy.
She was more than successful in making us feel like we want to hug Sofia every minute she was on screen.
The way she spoke to Callie and Arizona was pure magic. And her smile always lights up all the dark corners of the screen and the sad corners of my heart. In my opinion, she is the perfect kid to be cast as six-year-old happy kid Sofia.
Special kudos also to the awesome acting of the two lawyers Gwendoline Yeo and Vanessa Bell Calloway who were the receivers of our disdain as they led on all the witnesses and turned facts around to win the judge's favor. They did the lawyering bit so damn well we forget they're actors.
Moving forward
Where does Calzona go from here? That remains to be seen.
Callie is broken. How she cried during the last scene spelled her inconsolable devastation. She will be at a loss. And I doubt if anything will assuage her sadness.
Words are not enough to describe how much I was moved by the sensitive acting of Sara Ramirez and Jessica Capshaw, who brought their A-Game to this episode, and most especially Eva Ariel Binder.
Eva played Sofia perfectly. One simply cannot help but cry seeing that adorable face say "you’re hugging me too tight. You’re hugging me too long" which incidentally is my favorite scene of this episode. For me, just those two sentences from Eva Ariel was Emmy-worthy.
She was more than successful in making us feel like we want to hug Sofia every minute she was on screen.
The way she spoke to Callie and Arizona was pure magic. And her smile always lights up all the dark corners of the screen and the sad corners of my heart. In my opinion, she is the perfect kid to be cast as six-year-old happy kid Sofia.
Special kudos also to the awesome acting of the two lawyers Gwendoline Yeo and Vanessa Bell Calloway who were the receivers of our disdain as they led on all the witnesses and turned facts around to win the judge's favor. They did the lawyering bit so damn well we forget they're actors.
Moving forward
Where does Calzona go from here? That remains to be seen.
Callie is broken. How she cried during the last scene spelled her inconsolable devastation. She will be at a loss. And I doubt if anything will assuage her sadness.
Arizona won sole physical custody so Sofia resides with her and under her supervision, with reasonable visitation by Callie. It is not like the court bars Callie from seeing Sofia because as established in court, Callie is a good mother too and is not unfit (as in cases of parents who mistreat their children).
Callie could approach Arizona and and maybe just maybe, they can work something out eventually.
Arizona meanwhile, may have relished her victory for a
minute but I do know for sure that because of her love for Sofia, she would not
be the kind of custody battle winner who would be happy about her child not
seeing her other mother. She knows how much Sofia means to Callie. She
very well knows that Callie is Sofia's birth mother. And she may be angry at
Callie until now, but I allow myself to indulge in the thought that of course
she wouldn't want Callie to be unhappy. Arizona would not be the person who
would take Sofia away from Callie. Arizona did this all IN DEFENSE.
So now that she had won, the mixture of relief, a little happiness that her child will stay with her and not leave for another state, there is that evident hint of sadness and emptiness over her triumph. She knows that in her happiness, another human heart is grieving and longing for a child separated from her. And that human heart happens to belong to Sofia’s other true mother.
So now that she had won, the mixture of relief, a little happiness that her child will stay with her and not leave for another state, there is that evident hint of sadness and emptiness over her triumph. She knows that in her happiness, another human heart is grieving and longing for a child separated from her. And that human heart happens to belong to Sofia’s other true mother.
Knowing Arizona, she will not want this to happen for long.
Especially if Sofia looks for Callie. Sofia is used to being in both homes of
her mothers. She will definitely ask questions if that stops or is reduced, and
I am sure Sofia will not bear not seeing Callie so I really doubt if this sole
physical custody will even happen for a long time.
Penny may be out of the picture sooner than we thought. Samantha is not on the guest star list for the finale.
12x22 may as well be the lowest that Calzona could go since season 9 and should I say there is nowhere to go but up.
I hope for good things both for Callie and Arizona. We were with them through their highs and lows and we never wavered.
This episode may just be the saddest and I congratulate every Calzona heart for having survived this episode. I feel that the storm has reached its peak, I can see a bright, better future from hereon.
I hope that little by little, Callie and Arizona, will be brought together again not only by Sofia,because indeed, Sofia has two true mothers who love her unconditionally, but also by remembering each other as good, loving persons, for they both have a kind and beautiful heart.
I will never forget how intrigued I was about this song that started during Arizona's heroic save at the O.R. , that played during their bench talk, and throughout the conclusion of the court battle.
It’s as if Shonda knew about our hashtag #CalzonaWillRise .
I needed to post the full lyrics of the song because my soul told me so ...
You're broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry-go-round
And you can't find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I'll rise up
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
And I'll rise up
High like the waves
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
For you
When the silence isn't quiet
And it feels like it's getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we'll take the world to it's feet
And move mountains
Bring it to it's feet
And move mountains
And I'll rise up
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
We will rise
We will rise
We'll rise, oh oh
We'll rise
I'll rise up
Rise like the day
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we'll rise up
High like the waves
We'll rise up
In spite of the ache
We'll rise up
And we'll do it a thousand times again
For you
How relevant. How fitting. How miraculous that as the song soared with its inspiring notes during the closing scenes, it was also raising our spirits.
As if to echo what our hearts had been hoping for, for a very long time...
The amazing lyrics of this wonderful song which is not only inspiring,
but befits the Calzona story perfectly at this time.
More than ever, I feel it coming. I feel that this is the start of something
beautiful.
After the storm, after going through the darkest day, the sun too shall rise.
And Calzona, after all is said and done, after all these difficulties that their relationship weathered, being the strong and loving women that they are, they will rise.
After the storm, after going through the darkest day, the sun too shall rise.
And Calzona, after all is said and done, after all these difficulties that their relationship weathered, being the strong and loving women that they are, they will rise.
The two true mothers took different paths in life, but after some time, their roads diverged.
Their daughter was still their sunshine...and they loved their daughter more than ever.
One day they got together and discovered they could love each other again. Because they rediscovered each other's heart and they both love their daughter in the same way. So they loved each other again, loved each other better, together with their beautiful daughter.
Tomorrow, the two true mothers and their daughter start their happily ever after.
And I say it again, louder and with all conviction and undying love for this
couple, whose love for each other we held faith in for so long.
A couple that symbolizes that after all the hardship and trials, that true love wins, and it will do so beautifully, Calzona will rise.
#ChooseCalzona
Twitter:
@GAFan8
A couple that symbolizes that after all the hardship and trials, that true love wins, and it will do so beautifully, Calzona will rise.
#ChooseCalzona
Twitter:
@GAFan8
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