Calzona Review 10x12 Get Up Stand Up
Good intentions are not an end in itself.We may have the best intentions in the world, but we also need to make sure our intentions are coupled with understanding.
All season long, we have journeyed with Callie and Arizona through all the ups
and downs, the rough patches, the difficult twists, the less than smooth
turns.
We’ve been witness to all the tears and heartbreak they have
gone through; and best of all, we treasure the delight of the promise of that sweet, unexpected kiss last episode.
We were so worried about why Arizona was crying in the promo for this episode.
After such a beautiful kiss in episode 11, we were so scared that our bubble would burst and she and Callie would be on the outs again.
We even thought the PTSD would unravel in this episode.
When we saw 10x12, it allayed our fears.
The reason though, for which she was crying, was definitely something to reflect upon.
Dynamic Duo of Brain mapping
First scene shows favorite working pair Callie and Derek.
We see them discussing Phase Two of their research and who
could not help but notice the radiant smile Callie had on her face. Hmm, someone is in a good mood. Wink.
Then Owen interrupts
to remind Derek about his invitation to
participate in the Presidential Initiative on brain mapping.
Quick on the draw, Callie
acted as Derek’s spokesperson:
“Okay, no. We’re starting Phase 2. He’s my brain now.
Meredith can have the rest, I get his
brain.”
It was apparent that Callie was all gung-ho about this
project. She didn’t even bat an eyelash when she heard Owen say “Presidential
initiative.” Callie was determined to
finish this project along with Derek as partner, as “her brain.”
Even if he had encountered hesitation from the brain mapping
dream team about the research invitation, Owen made sure both were going to
the big event of the episode, April’s wedding.
He only wanted to save his son's life
Then we see Alex and Arizona in the next scene.
Arizona was asking Alex about his dad being in the hospital when a
patient was brought in. No, not by the
paramedics but by his dad, who personally drove him to the E.R.
The boy, Cody, was
driving a tractor, hit a bump and went under
the wheel. Arizona found out that he was moving before his dad took him to the
hospital, who was so scared he couldn’t wait so he brought him there himself.
The boy was not responsive to the reflex hammer.
This alarmed Arizona and urgently asked the dad to step back
as they had to do work on the boy right away, mounting him on the famed Lodox
machine.
The scene continues, with Alex’s diagnosis of the boy’s
condition, a fracture in C6. And Arizona said
Dr. Torres was needed. The boy, who suffered a broken neck had a lot of internal bleeding and needed to
be operated on right away.
Alex: He should’ve waited for the ambulance. I think this
guy paralyzed his own kid by bringing him here himself
Arizona: Don’t know that yet Alex. I got this. Why don’t you
go be with your father
Alex: No it’s all right
Arizona: What? You must have questions.
Long lost father? I
mean I’d have a billion. How about go to the OR and I’m gonna call you if I
need you.
I like the friendship that Arizona and Alex had developed,
which rooted from a mentor-student relationship. Arizona’s concern for Alex was noticeable.
Alex was willing to call a spade a spade. He was frank enough to recognize the dad’s
carelessness for what it was, but we
notice that Arizona was being a tad defensive of the boy’s father.
It struck me initially as an admirable trait of
Arizona, being mature and objective in an emergency medical situation as this,
little did I know that she could personally relate to how Cody’s father reacted to his son’s accident.
The poor dad was concerned. Very worried.
Dad: Oh my God, he can move, right? He was moving
Alex: That was before he was ..
Arizona was quick to cut off Alex, so as not to worry the
dad unnecessarily,
Arizona: We’ll know more in a bit, we’re doing everything we
can, so sit tight.
She only wanted to get her wife back to where she was
The next scene, we see Callie and Arizona together in the
OR, with Callie cheerily determining the extent of what needs to be operated on..and
try to avoid paralysis of the patient.
Arizona : thank you, you’re a genius
Callie was giddy
Callie: I am actually. Sort of a genius. Derek and I start
Phase 2 today. Tactile pressure feedback.
Arizona: Good for you.
Callie: Oh, it’s good for you too. The goal is, a prosthetic
leg, as sensitive and as responsive as the one that you lost. Get you back to where
you were. Okay prep the neck, I’m gonna scrub
The cheery tone of Callie couldn’t be hidden from behind her
surgical mask. Just her tone gave away the excitement she had about her
research dedicated to her wife. She really wanted to do this for Arizona.
And yes, we did
notice that Arizona had an ambivalent reaction to what Callie had said.
She was concerned and surprised though when Alex entered the
OR
Arizona: Hey I told you I’d call you if I need you. How’s
your dad
Alex: Where do you want me?
Arizona caught Alex’s tone and expression, and knowing Alex,
she thought it best to just let him be.
Good intentions
In the OR together with Alex during surgery , Callie and Arizona talk about prepping for the upcoming wedding
Callie: Are you gonna wear your high heeled leg? Cause it looks amazing and it always gets so sore after a while. oh and its also in a farm
so it might be muddy
Arizona cut her off, “I’ll be fine”
Callie :Okay
Arizona:The spinal injury was likely caused by the father
transporting him
Callie: God, Wait for an ambulance
Arizona: Well he didn’t know.
Arizona was quickly on the defensive. She slightly raised
her voice. We could tell, this topic is a sensitive one for her.
Callie: Yeah, well
now maybe his kid may not walk? He would’ve been better off if he just kept his
hands off
Arizona: Callie, stop it. This kid was hurt. And he was
trying to fix it. Sometimes we try to make things better and we have no idea
that we’re actually causing more pain, of course we don’t tell him
Ultra sensitive Arizona was cutting off Callie
mid-sentence throughout this OR scene. And even slightly raised her voice. The topic was rubbing her the wrong way.
And that last line
was telling. We could somehow sense something was bothering her, but we
did not really delve into it as of yet.
Leah in the meantime
Then as an aside, we catch Leah, who had been empowered by
Bailey’s “Never be afraid to stand up for yourself… Just make sure you’re right
when you do.”
Jo was asking Leah if she could take over her patients
because she would be going to the wedding and Leah wasn’t. Empowered Leah was
determined to try and win back the love of her life:
“I am going. Because if you stand up for what you deserve,
you’re gonna get it. I deserve her. I am not gonna be thrown aside. I am going
to that wedding and I am gonna stand up in front of everyone and im gonna tell Arizona
how I feel and she’s gonna be forced to deal with it. I sound crazy. And this
is the thing that I do."
Yes, Jo pointed out to her that she had been going crazy all
the while, good that she caught herself just in time, before making an utter
fool of herself.
I surely hope Leah snaps out of this kind of mentality. It
is truly distracting, that at the back of our minds, while Calzona is trying to
heal and work things out, that someone is still longing for Arizona, still overly obsessed about her
and is willing to fight for her, when we know that this will only be for naught.
At the beautiful farm
Then we see Callie and Arizona in a beautiful setting, an outdoor
scene--the wedding venue.
We rarely see them in scenes like this and it was such a delight to watch. Their beauties even more striking because of the outdoor lighting. Our
protagonists walk and discuss,
Callie: Hey, after this is over, I wanna have a toast to
celebrate
Arizona: Oh, funny you have a toast
Callie: No a phase two (laughs)
Arizona: Your research
Callie: Well OUR research (Callie was all excited about what
she was saying, and Arizona was skeptical. Serious. Questioning)
Callie: Our research. Yours too. You inspired it, I wouldn’t
be doing it without you
And Callie said that with such a loving, loving, loving
look, I was melting. Sara, you have such a sincere and affected method of acting,
I want to hug you right now.
Callie was alarmed to
see Arizona trying to hold back tears. She was saying this in as cheerful a
tone as possible, why was it eliciting such a tearful response from Arizona?
Arizona: Okay
Callie : Are you crying? (Callie was alarmed)
Arizona was quick on the draw,
Arizona: Yeah, you know, weddings.
Callie: Yeah
And of course, Callie understood that her wife was being
emotional about weddings. She had that nurturing Callie look. Who wouldn’t want
to give her a bear hug.
With that simple
look, I could feel all the love she had for her wife.
All through this episode, Callie was supportive. Happily
trying to get on board and get excited for this project that she was working on
most especially for her beloved wife.
Callie was serious in trying to work things out. She was true
to her word when she knocked on Arizona’s hotel room and asked her to come
home.
She purposely put the issue of the ten plus times behind them.
She was not irritated with Arizona anymore, as she was in
most of episode 11.
The kiss that we saw last episode 11, yes, this was the
follow through. She was feeling that everything is slowly going back to
normalcy. They were happy again. Well at
least Callie was.
She thought Arizona was, too, but for us viewers, we could
see how transparent Arizona was, since the start of the episode.
In stark contrast to Callie’s cheerfulness, Arizona seemed
to be lukewarm and undecided about all this. Yes, she was appreciative, but it
seemed as though, something was bothering her deeply. Callie was not the irritated
one in this ep. It seemed like it was Arizona who was quite touchy this time.
Seems like the writers are alternately making them irritable
per episode? I’m exaggerating. I’m sure this will go on for only these two
episodes to express a point.
The Bride Comforts the Bridesmaid
Then at the bride’s staging area, we see new BFFs Aprizona standing in front of a
mirror
Arizona is still in tears
Arizona: You look so beautiful (and breaks into tears) so
the bride handed her a tissue
“Are you gonna get it together?” A worried April inquires.
April's BFF seemed to be too emotional, and the wedding ceremony was due to start soon.
She was supposed to be worrying about her own big day, but her BFF bridesmaid
had worries that needed to be addressed right there.
Arizona: Sorry, Callie’s trying so hard to forgive me. And
to take care of me. It’s driving me crazy.
April: I thought you wanted…
Arizona: I do! I do
love her and I want her back and I broke us and I wanna fix it. But she
wants to fix me. The reason that I cheated that night. Someone was attracted to
me. She never knew me before. She only knew me after and I was enough for her.
And Callie, she knew me before and she loved me before. And now sometimes, I
feel like.. I’m not… I’m not…
April: Enough?
Arizona: It’s not fair! It’s not fair Its not her fault. And
I hate feeling this way. And Callie, she’s just trying to fix everything and I’m
finally feeling okay the way that I am now. I’m not sure that Callie will ever
make me feel that way.
And she sobs on the bride’s shoulder. The bride is
comforting the bridesmaid. Yes, this is happening on her wedding day.
April: So sorry that you’re going through all this..TODAY!
Hands down, this is
the funniest scene of the episode and I cannot get over April’s expression when
she said “Today!” It was her day after all. The one single most special day in
her life and here she was, consoling her troubled new BFF.
She could have been given the special treatment this day but…no…she had to be a listening ear and a
shoulder to cry on.
This was sort of a continuation of that drunken Aprizona
chapter of their lives. A recap and an elaboration of what is going on in
Arizona’s mind at present. The difference is, she had less inhibitions then. She was pre-drunk. She easily expressed her
feelings for the first time then.
This time around, she was not pre-drunk. She was very much
sober. She is starting to be open with
her feelings. Funny to note though that the timing could have been better.
It all came to a head when April lost it and berated her
“people”. Mertina were having their own reconciliation drama of
their own, just when the wedding ceremony was about to start.
I could not stop laughing when she put a stop to all the
nonsense going on around her special day, with the Mertina-patching up going on,
and the just concluded confiding session of Arizona .
Arizona was not exempt
from April’s scolding:
“And you! Stop talking about adultery on my wedding day
because it is my WEDDING DAY!”
The expression on Arizona’s face in this scene was just hilarious.
Jessica Capshaw showed fantastic comedic
timing, just as all the actors in that
scene had.
I appreciated the way they presented Arizona’s dilemma
in a light way. I even felt that it was
supposed to be solely a funny scene, with the Arizona issue just inserted there
for comedic effect.
For me, this suggests a positive way of looking at it.
Touching to note how April remained supportive of her, even
if she had worries of her own, as it was her Big Day.
The funniest moments of
the episode belonged to BFF April and her antics with Mertina and Arizona in
the waiting room.
From this, I can tell that Arizona:
1) Was experiencing an internal struggle which
included guilt
2) She could not contain her feelings, could not
even be rational enough to spill out her emotions at the appropriate time. Lack
of control of emotions.
The situations she had with Callie
throughout the episode made her emotions run high and voila, reached boiling point
in April’s bridal staging room.
Dissection of what Arizona said
Since this is the highlight of the Calzona SL in this Ep, it
is very important to dissect all that Arizona said:
“Sorry, Callie’s trying so hard to forgive me. And to take care of me.
It’s driving me crazy.”
I am happy to note that it came straight from Arizona that
she knows Callie is trying to forget what happened. Arizona was aware that
Callie was willing to forgive Arizona
for her faults. True to her character, kindhearted Callie had been showing loving kindness to her wife. It
warms my heart to know that she is taking care of Arizona, with the same
concern, just as she had when Arizona lost her leg.
But contrary to what Callie thinks, it is not achieving the
intended result. It was driving Arizona crazy. And this breaks my heart. I
can’t think enough of the effort Callie is putting into all this. Why is it
driving her wife crazy?
“ I do! I do love her and I want
her back and I broke us and I want to fix it. But she wants to fix me.”
Clearly, both of them want to work it out. Arizona wants
Callie back. She wants to fix the relationship too. She was guilty
that she was at fault and caused damage to their union. And she was upset that Callie so wanted to fix her. She wouldn’t cry
that much and bug April on her wedding day if she weren’t guilty and upset enough.
She had her own process in mind. She wanted to take matters
into her own hands to fix what she broke.
She was just not ready for Callie to be this concerned about her, and
this willing to get her back to close to what she was before.
Maybe it was overpowering guilt.
“The reason that I cheated that night. Someone was attracted to me. She
never knew me before. She only knew me after and I was enough for her. And
Callie, she knew me before and she loved me before. And now sometimes, I feel
like.. I’m not… I’m not…
April: Enough?”
“ It’s not fair! It’s not fair It’s not her fault. And I hate feeling
this way.
Ever since that destructive 9x23 episode, we had always been
asking why, why, why.
We had our own guesses. And we were right. It was exactly
what Arizona said in the above line.
Arizona, who was
feeling very insecure about losing a leg,
felt that Lauren saw her for what
she was, minus the leg. Lauren had no point of comparison. That gave Arizona the
feeling of instant acceptance.
It is understandable to feel the inadequacy that she
felt. Arizona was worried that someone who has loved her so much when she was
in a different form, might not love her as much, now that she was physically
“incomplete.”
The impairment had that effect and this explains that “it
all comes back to the leg” bit.
It came directly from Arizona for the very first time, 12
episodes after. She did not feel she was “enough.”
In essence, we have to mark this event as officially the
first time that Arizona lengthily poured her heart out and expressed what she
felt. Yes, she had to say it out loud to April first and not to Callie, but I am not affected at all by
this.
It’s a common thing to do when you are greatly burdened.
Sometimes, you choose to confide in your best friends/confidante first, to ask for advice,
for fear that a wrong move may endanger the
progress that she and Callie were having.
These two have never really had a chance to talk. In Episode
3 when “she wore the red dress and everything” and went to the therapist’s, Arizona was willing to talk, but
Callie was not willing to , or maybe was not ready. This is perfectly
understandable too.
After all that happened in between, the time has become more
and more ripe for them to talk and I feel that this is a step in the right
direction. Another baby step forward.
Arizona had expressed the feelings she has bottled up inside
to another person. That can’t be bad. All she needs to do is express it now to
Callie.
I think that talking to April helped Arizona identify and affirm
to herself what had been bothering her all along, and from here, move forward
to communicate with Callie.
We have all been about baby steps, and not rushing them to
get back together using shortcuts, and I think that the show is going in this direction.
They had that really special kiss last Ep 11. We would have
been up in arms if Ep 12 had shown them problem-free, as if that kiss solved
all their problems.
I'm happy that the writers didn’t take the easy route. They
seem to be taking the Calzona journey on a gradual pace. We all wanted
a step-by-step process, and this is what we are getting. I’m happy with what is
happening.
I would have been severely disappointed if they just did a
time jump, showing all is already well in the Calzona world, then they have
their marriage made legal, etc., when we
have been wanting and expecting a
process.
And this is the process that we have been waiting for.
Talking to April is a step in that process.
This episode made me confident that the writers will fairly
show us realistically how a couple will try
to work things out in a broken relationship. No band aids, but healing from the
freshest stage of the wound, ever so slowly toward complete recovery.
Besides, it was April’s wedding Day. I didn’t find it
fitting for Calzona to have their first talk on that day. April was the center
of focus of the episode, no one should
steal her thunder on that special day, except of course for Jackson. But that’s
another story.
“And Callie, she’s just trying to fix everything and I’m finally
feeling okay the way that I am now. I’m not sure that Callie will ever make me
feel that way.”
Seems like as Callie tries so hard to fix her, the more
Arizona feels that she is incomplete.
Maybe she feels that it is constantly
being stressed that she needs fixing, when all through the months after losing
her leg, she had tried and learned to come to terms with it on her own. She had
maybe finally made her peace with losing her leg.
And Callie, who is most probably filled with her own guilt for
having consented to cut off Arizona’s leg (when she really had no other choice), as we
remember that Arizona had blamed her in their argument in 9x24, had been trying
to source out every possible way to alleviate her wife’s plight. And she
apparently is not aware that Arizona did not need this persistent need to fix
her.
Here we see the gaping hole in their communication.
To sum it up: They both have the best intentions. They both
want each other back. They love each other. But they have not yet communicated
to each other on the best way to work toward this.
They are assuming ways of
trying to work things out. Thinking that they can second guess each other, but
in reality, they are not in synch.
Their actions are all based on misaligned
assumptions. So if this goes on, the problem will not be resolved.
Arizona is somehow saying that her own personal reconciliation with
the condition of her leg will only come from herself. That she foresees that even
if Callie exerts all effort to fix her condition, it will not be as effective
as when she does her own personal healing.
Callie and Arizona, really need to talk and therefore understand each
other. I believe that last week’s special kiss breaks down barriers and I
expect them to talk soon.
This breakdown of Arizona was an eye opener for herself.
That she is struggling with something that is not minor. And she has to deal
with it.
When they walked down the aisle
Then we are treated to a very beautiful scene from the
beautiful wedding. Arizona the bridesmaid was first to march down the aisle.
The part that
grabbed me was when she glanced and smiled at Callie as she passed by and
Callie had that even more loving smile for her. My heart was like strawberry ice
cream on a hot summer day. Melting…just melting.
As the pastor was reciting the words, the camera focused on
the characters.
These words were being said by the pastor and we see the
camera pan to Arizona who glanced and smiled at Callie,
“Give them the strength to commit their love to one another”
It touchingly reminded Arizona of Callie and their bond, and
she looked at Callie with a most loving smile, and Callie returned that smile
with an even more earnestly loving one.
Then the pastor’s words continued,
“Unshakeable through any storm..” the camera focused on Arizona and Callie exchanging looks of love, of desire to rebuild their
commitment.
It symbolized so much, meant so much. And it turns my heart
into mush.
If they only hold tight, they'll be holding on forever
I felt personally assured that after all the damage , they had taken the first few baby steps since Episode9, and we see they are both working
at it, but they do need all the strength
to follow through on the journey to
reconciliation they have embarked on.
The important thing to note is that both Callie and Arizona care
enough about each other to make the healing process possible for one another.
They are human beings, each other’s way may not be the exact way that will make
the other understand and be comfortable with but it’s a very welcome start.
Just as patient Cody’s father, who had all the best
intentions to bring his son to the hospital to expedite healing, but did more
harm than good, our beloved couple are having the same kind of challenge too.
It’s all a matter of identifying what approach to use, what
works best to make the healing and helping effective to each other.
I am overwhelmed with happiness with the thought that Callie
is willing to do everything to help Arizona. Even if she doesn't know how
Arizona feels about it yet. I choose to focus first on Callie’s loving
intention. Her big heart is trying to help fix Arizona. She truly wants Arizona
to have as little discomfort as possible. She purely wants to make her wife
happy. And if that’s not love, I don’t know what is.
Remember, the reason she
got into this research project in the first place was to make mobility easier for her wife. To make her feel
as she was before. Whole. For the leg to be as sensitive and responsive as
before.
And this unknowingly, is not aligned with what works well
for Arizona. As she poured her heart out to April, it showed that she does
recognize and appreciate Callie’s effort in trying to “fix” her, but she has to let Callie know that no amount of trying to fix her would work, because she has to heal on her own first, feel better about herself on her own.
What I see here is that the intentions of both Callie and Arizona
are noble. Best intentions
for one another. Both have the willingness to try and work it out. Both are
working to rebuild what was damaged.
But intentions can not be sufficient if they are to reach
their goal of reconciliation.
Intentions must be coupled with understanding. Understanding
what the other means. What the other will appreciate. What will be right and
comfortable for the other.
And how do they acquire understanding? Easy.
We have all been
clamoring for this, and I’m sure the actors are too. They have to
COMMUNICATE.
Callie can work her butt off as much as she can, bury her nose
in her research, thinking it will be the best for Arizona, little does she know
that Arizona is having these uncomfortable thoughts, of being empty, of being
not enough within herself. Being wanting. Insufficient.
And Callie does not know this. All she knows is that she’s
trying her best to help her wife, and when her research succeeds, this will
make her wife happy and they will live happily ever after.
This saddens me to my core because as much as Callie continues on with
being her kindhearted self, pouring out all the love for her wife, it will all
be for nothing if she does not discover that
there have to be adjustments made in terms of how to approach this leg
issue.
Arizona, on the other hand, had shown how much she cares and
appreciates Callie for her efforts, it’s just a matter of explaining to Callie what she needs and what she doesn't.
As she cried while confiding in April, you could see that
she was agonizing and conflicted with her internal dilemma. She wanted this
conflict within herself resolved. She does not want to feel incomplete. She
wants to be happy with what Callie is doing for her, but Callie does not
understand how she really feels.
For the first time after the drinking binge Aprizona had, we
heard Arizona acknowledge her struggle.
And this time, she admitted it with more specifics. I couldn’t say she was
drunk then, when she first started opening up to April. She was pre-drunk then.
Now that she is obviously sober, the time had come
for her to come out of her shell and do the 2nd of the first two steps that had to be made.
The initial healing steps I mentioned before in the Episode 4 review were: 1) admit her deed, and 2) assess and admit
WHY she did it.
She’s done with the first step, and now,she had just completed the 2nd step.
They need to retain strength to commit their love to one another.
Maybe they’re past the
roughest part of this journey, but there will still be bumps. It will be
a long hard climb, but as parallel to what the pastor said, we hope that they will be given "the strength to commit and love one another” “unshakeable in every storm”
And with the closing Greys narration:
Failure is inevitable.
Unavoidable. But failure should never get the last word.You have to hold on to
what you want. You have to not take no for an answer and take what’s coming to
you. Never give in, never give up. Stand up. Stand up and take it..
Callie and Arizona had been through failure. They
are human. They are not perfect. No human being is.
To our eyes, they were a very
stable couple before the plane crash, but circumstances led them to discover
that their relationship too, is fallible.
They should not give in to the difficulty of trying to
recover what was lost, to repair what had been damaged.
They have to stay strong, and stay true to what they resolved to do, which
is to try and work things out with each other.
All is not lost from all the mistakes that they committed. And
they have to stay strong with what they have left.
The love is there. The
willingness to please each other is there. They just have to come together,
understand each other by talking with each other.
After watching and re-watching this episode five times, and after seeing countless comments in the Twitterverse, let me put my two cents in simply.
This episode gave me hope. A little more hope than I expected, for Callie and Arizona to work it out. I never doubted for one moment that they are MFEO, but this episode made it one step more tangible.
Not just by their loving looks but seeing Arizona's thoughts finally expressed, and seeing Callie's caring actions.
All that needs to happen now is the understanding via communication with each other.
Sure, there will still be drama, because this is Grey's Anatomy. They may even fight again. But no matter how crooked and rough the road to reconciliation may be, they have to stay strong and focus on their objective.
I hope in the next few episodes, we will already see them wear their necklaces again.
Karin Gleason said in a tweet that they will talk, we just have to wait.
I am not blindly hoping for impossible things. I just trust that with what I saw in the tone and approach of this episode involving Callie and Arizona, it is reasonable enough to remain positive about the future of their union.
We have many weeks to get ready for 10x13. I'm going to spend my time watching all episodes of Season 10.
I may succumb to being on edge during this hiatus but I will not waver in my stand to not ever take sides between Callie and Arizona, whatever mistakes each one had committed against the other.
They are human. They make mistakes, and they can right their wrongs. No one is unforgivable. Hackneyed as it is, let him who has no sin cast the first stone.
I cannot ever take sides between Callie and Arizona. I'm just not born that way.
Happy Holidays and Happy Hiatus.
#TeamCalzonaForeverandEver
Twitter: @GAFan8
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