The Anatomy of Hope

Calzona Review 11x09 "Where Do We Go From Here"

Arizona and the magnificent brain tumor graphic welcomes us to  the first scene of Grey's Anatomy 11B, as Meredith does the narration about shock and how it affects us and sometimes saves us.

But as far as this review  is concerned, more than shock, what was most relevant , was hope.

Arizona had an ample amount of screen time while Callie had like one or two minutes but we are not really counting. Callie’s short but sweet presence was amazingly played by Sara Ramirez. Ably clocking in those quality precious minutes with an endearing performance only a truly seasoned actor could do.

Nanny Talk

Merlie were in a huddle. Callie was reeling from her surprise when Mer announced that she got a nanny because Derek left. 

Merlie is  a blooming friendship and this early, Callie was being reminded somehow that she and Arizona are  not the only ones having relationship problems.

And both Mer and Callie  were listening in on Owen’s briefing about a patient, a mother who drove off a bridge with her two kids. Which brought out initial impressions from the doctors, including Callie’s   “Is she one of those crazy moms that tries to drown her kids?”

Allowing Mer to quip: “Maybe she needed a nanny”

                             

A serious situation made light, funny in their signature adorable Grey’s deadpan humor. Score!

Too Pretty for Prison

When Amelia was asking  when she could talk to Herman’s doctors to study the tumor more quickly, it led her to cajole  Arizona about that make or break decision—to finally admit to Herman that she stole her medical records and committed “a thousand  violations.”

The cutest quote of the episode was when Arizona mulled the thought of admission and its consequences, knowing she had committed grievous mistakes in this case : “..Its not a cliff, that’s prison and I’m too pretty for prison”

Amelia was justifying her friend’s actions and encouraging Arizona to admit what she did to Herman : “Arizona, you are saving her life…you made it possible… Once you tell her…she will be okay with it..she’ll be happy..ultimately,  she will be thrilled”

Herman Finds Out

Arizona knew she would eventually have to tell Herman and face the music, so even if Amelia offered to tell Herman herself, Arizona was decided that she would do the dreaded chore, she just didn’t know how and when, but then Herman was too wise for them and found out on her own.

There in that scan room was paraded her  brain  tumor, in full graphic color, to Herman’s chagrin.

Arizona took the blame but reasoned out. She knew her stand. Her usual authority issues were noticeably absent. She was standing up for herself and what she believed was right, countering with a “I needed to understand” and “I had to! ” and said that she did it because  Herman was not telling her anything.

Arizona was far from apologetic. She wanted to help find a cure for Herman. And that superseded her law-abiding, professional nature.

Now who wouldn’t have been  moved by Amelia’s badassness when she boldly said Herman’s doctors lacked imagination and scope. The most memorable badass line of the episode was when Amelia  praised yet belittled that pesky tumor  : “Your tumor is smart. It’s brilliant. But so am I . I can beat it. I will beat  it.”

If confidence could kill, Amelia’s confidence could surely have  killed the tumor pointblank.

All that was left was Herman’s agreement to Amelia’s approach, which, not even the combined convincing effort of Arizona and Amelia could achieve.

Most Malignant Symptom of Terminal Cancer

While scrubbing in for a surgery, Herman was blunt about how disappointed she was, that Arizona  betrayed her and lied to her, and Arizona finally apologized “Sorry I went behind your back.”

See, Arizona was not  apologetic at first, she seemed  too defensive of her stance of wanting to find a cure for Herman because this posed a danger as she still went on her surgeon duties. But in this scene, she did let out her guilt.

Arizona though, was hanging on to the slightest bit of hope which Herman was not inclined to do.

“Can you name the  single worst most  malignant symptom of  terminal cancer? It’s hope. It’s recurrent. And it keeps creeping back in no matter how many times it gets ripped apart.”

Mayo Clinic, NYU and Barrow Neurological Institute all offered hope but they didn’t work.

“And everytime the hope goes, it takes chunks of you with it. And you can only find comfort in the one thing that you know you can count on. That this thing is gonna kill you. So you tell Shepherd to keep her hope to herself. Better yet, tell her where to stick it.”

This heartbreaking line from Herman was most unforgettable and starts that controversial debate on hope. 

This issue on 'hope' and 'hoping,' was the second time I saw it squarely tackled on Grey's Anatomy. And I never quite forgot that episode in 6x18  “Suicide is Painless”, where a similar quote was said by a terminally ill patient to her doctor:

“Maybe you have to be dying to understand. But there’s this thing that happens where death stops being scary. What starts being scary is hope. Cause it’s not true.  Even if they found a cure for cancer tomorrow, it’s too late for me. And hanging on to hope, it may make you feel better but it just makes me feel alone. I don’t want to die alone”

This episode and line had always been etched at the back of my mind since then. 

Because Grey’s Anatomy is that kind of show. It makes you think about real life questions that matter. And it mirrors every human’s doubts and struggles on his mortality. 

And here it is again, this time the patient is an excellent doctor, and an inimitable character whose multidimensional personality had continually struck us since her introduction this season.

The Queen

Callie was busy snapping a patient’s shoulder into place when April approached her, obviously in the sourest of moods.

Callie  knew April wasn’t okay.

Callie   personally admitted in her usual tongue in cheek manner, “I’m  the queen of taking my personal crap out on people.” Which obviously wins funniest line of the episode.

And April was firmly  informed by nice but badass Dr Torres, “and I don’t want you snapping at me”

This scene right here was ultimately Sara Ramirez  brilliance. Deadpan yet sensitive humor.   That’s how Sara portrays Callie. Serious yet everything she says is just hilarious. 

Excellent comic timing  in all of  Callie Torres’ one minute screen time in this ep.

 April admits her disgust and disappointment and vented all her frustration on Callie.

“You can’t have a baby. And it’s what you want. All you want is to have a baby. And love that baby. And nurture that baby. And raise that baby. And this woman throws her perfectly healthy kids off of a bridge.”

 April was disgusted that this was  just unthinkable “How are you not screaming right now at what she’s done?”

Callie was initially struck by what April said because after all, she was reminded of  how she wanted kids but could not have kids, “Excuse me?”

And April sums it all up, “How is any of this fair?”

That represents the predicament of both of these women, but Callie, unknowing of April’s personal turmoil of having found out her baby was in a disadvantaged condition, was the cooler head and tried to calm April down but to no avail. Clueless Callie had the funniest nonchalant expressions.  Just who wouldn’t adore Sara?

Arizona’s Friends

Next scene had Arizona and Herman in the OR for a surgery. 

Jackson interrupted them and requested to consult with Arizona on the baby’s condition soonest because he decided he needed to be prepared for whatever was going to happen to their baby and what they can do.

It was touching how Arizona had immediate concern for Jackson and April and their baby.

Her kind responses to Jackson were:

‘”Of course, we’re almost done here”

“I’ll come find you”

She had that special attention for what Jackson said, that kind of attention usually reserved for friends one has  genuine concern for.

And referring to them as “my friends” just felt so comforting. 

After that long hiatus, this was a  reminder that the Aprizona friendship was as  strong as ever. Arizona was true to being the good friend to her beleaguered friend April. 

I just need to quote what Herman said because this was a follow through to her initial striking speech about being done with hope:

“Just remember what I said about hope. Don’t make it harder for them than it already is”

Yes, that  was enough. That was too much for Arizona. 

Whether she had her own convictions  insulted by Herman’s  reminder; or whether she got sensitive for her friends having very little  hope or their child, or whether she was simply an astute  flag bearer of hope, it was not clear,  but it was enough to make the responsible and professional  Arizona walk out from the surgery. Out of character for her. 

Which is why this leads me to suspect that Herman hit a very raw nerve in Arizona and it was worth a walk out,  exclaiming with an angered  exit line “I am done here!”

Arizona Breaks Herman

Sure, her superior was angry at her walkout but it was just too much. Arizona gave in to her emotions. Whether this was justified, we leave it to hopeless Herman to decide.

Admonished by Herman, about  walking out in the middle of a procedure, Arizona had shots to fire, “You have a shot! You have a chance, and it may be small and risky but there’s a chance. A chance that would make my friends give everything to have and you’re ignoring it. You’re wasting it!”

                                           

And Arizona makes walkout number two.

The scene was too highly charged. Arizona’s words cut to the core of Herman’s heart. Here she was, giving up, while her subordinate was seeing the clear contrast of how her friends were willing to do everything to face their baby’s condition and want to learn how to make the most of the situation, while here was her boss, who was shown a clear chance that the” smart “and “brilliant” tumor can be trounced   by  Dr  “I will beat it” Shepherdess.

Arizona’s walkout ,  I must say , was justified because she is human. She is not a robot. She has her own mind and principles.

She was seeing two parallel situations of hope and seeing that the one who had reason to still hang on, was totally throwing that away and  even discouraging hope from other people, it was something that made her human, made her furious.

Arizona said the words that Herman had to hear. And for the first time in her stint on GSMH,  we see Dr Herman become vulnerable. 

The tough iron-hearted persona cracked. She broke down in the bathroom. 

Arizona had managed to break through the barriers of her  closed mind, that had already closed its doors to any kind of hope. 

 Arizona knocked some sense into her. She had a point. Arizona taught her to learn to still hang on to the most miniscule hope.

And in the game of wills , Arizona won. Hope won.

Complex and risky, Amelia’s approach was to be, but Herman was able to find a way to simplify this tumor problem. 

The results of the impending surgery may go three ways and Herman was at peace with whatever  outcome. The only condition was that she wanted to have the surgery at the latest time possible before it bothers the nerves. 

She did want to live a quality life with her remaining time on earth (if ever) and although Arizona was doing her non-verbal  dissenting reactions, they (Amelia and Arizona) had to accept Herman’s decision.

                            

“You get at my tumor, you get at my knowledge, I  get at my life.”

She’s the boss. It’s her tumor after all.

A Story of Hope

If this episode was anything, it was a story of hope and how people may need and want to approach it.

No one is entitled to judge anyone, nor  their argument of what hope should be.

What I appreciated in this episode is how the subject of hope and hopelessness was tackled. 

How two opposing approaches to hope faced each other head on, and how a compromise can possibly be reached.

It was a very sensitive subject, in a TV show that addresses questions that are not talked about in ordinary daily conversations.

In the end, Arizona’s resolve won out. Her risk at betraying her superior, the risk of breaking a thousand laws had not been for naught. 

Herman acceded to have the surgery, agreed to consider another shot at a chance to heal and survive.

Sure, Herman was aware of her limited time and had surrendered to her fate. She wanted to live a quality life out of her remaining time and not waste any minute hanging on to false hope. She had had enough of it and it had killed her slowly, stealing away her happiness in the little time that she had left. Perfectly understandable.

But after all that, Arizona succeeded in making Herman agree to hang on to that bit hope offered by Amelia. She broke  Herman’s solid 'NO HOPE' stance in her battle with her brain tumor.

 Arizona made the embattled Herman ,  (immune and indifferent to the attractive promises of being well again), to open herself to new hope, albeit on her own timing and terms.

Callie and Arizona in this episode

This opening episode of 11B sets forth  the characters and attitudes of our two beloved protagonists.

Absolutely no scenes of them together, as expected, but both were individually involved in their careers and their respective relationships with other people.

Both were taking in experiences on their own. Apart from one another.

Although there were very few seconds of Callie in this episode, Callie was reminded of two things.

1)That she was not alone in her marital problems because her friend Mer confided that Derek left,  and 2) that she wanted to have a child but could not have one, as reminded by April. What these reminders mean for her, I am willing to wait and see in future episodes.

Admirable was Arizona’s attitude of hopefulness. Which leads me to think that even if her own marriage was broken, she is a person who will push on with every last bit of a chance to heal and make it better.

If anything, this attitude bodes well for the  Calzona un-couple.

It gives me courage that Arizona is a believer of hope. Ergo this translates to her not giving up on  her marriage.

It assures me in more ways than one that there is hope for them to find their way back to each other.

This first episode after the hiatus is a preparation stage for all that is still to come in this story of Calzona.

And I am honestly  bracing myself for the next episodes where talks have it that Callie and Ariozna may start dating other people.

In my personal opinion, whatever  drama that this show gives, that makes me watch and crave for the episodes and makes me glued to the screen every week,  well I say bring it.

Shonda knows how to tell her stories best, let her tell them. I trust her.

Friendly reminder to everyone that  now is the time to repeat the mantra: Trust the journey.

And of course, for always,   #CalzonaForever.

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