That Can Be Enough

Calzona Review 10x23   Everything I Try to Do, Nothing Seems to Turn Out Right

Sometimes, and even most times,  life deals us unexpected blows. It’s easy to say we will expect the unexpected. But when the unexpected comes, we are never really ready for it.

Seeing my twitter timeline, the Calzona fanbase are a bundle of emotions after this episode. 

It took me a while to come to terms after I watched it.

We’ve seen them struggle through the downhill times and soar during the uphill times .

As I come to terms, I felt the need to backtrack a bit.

Flashback to the time when Arizona had a devastating miscarriage. Callie made it known she wanted to try for another one, eventually, but Arizona was not keen on it anymore.

Flashback to the time when someone tweeted Shonda  why she added a miscarriage to the Calzona SL but never really expanded on it, and Shonda replied  that she wont reveal anything but the season’s not over, and we all assumed they would be considering having another visit from the stork soon..

Flashback to when Arizona met baby Oscar who was so cute, we wanted them to adopt him.

Flashback  to the time when Callie tried out that machine that read emotions. When we first discovered  that she wanted another baby. The sight of  baby Bailey  lit up her pleasure center.  
Later on, she enunciated how she did want to have another baby.

Flashback to the time when a rush of worry and concern fell over Arizona for Sofia, when she witnessed with her own eyes the difficult plight of kid patients. She thought it best that Sofia would be better off with a sibling, when  the need to take care of both her moms arises.

Flashback to the time when Callie was worried to tell Arizona that she wanted another baby, only to be surprised that Arizona was thinking the same thing. And they hugged it out.

Flashback to the time when Callie assumed she was carrying the baby. Out of pure concern for her wife, whom she thought would still be traumatized by the miscarriage; and  Arizona objected which led them to flip a coin to arrive at a decision.

Flashback to the time they were planning out the insemination, fixing and planning out their schedules about taking turns nursing the baby.

To the time they were thinking of baby names and Arizona tried to trick Callie with preposterous names  which didn’t work.

It was all excitement for us from the moment we suspected until we knew they wanted another bundle of joy.

They built  up our excitement.  I for one, was extremely excited. I was even  distracted  with the preposterous baby name cuteness.  And here I am now, after watching the episode four times. Deeply stunned.  

Callie visits the OBGYN

Callie and the lovey-dovey secretive- about- their-baby Japril twosome chance upon each other outside the OBGYN.’s office

Callie: Hey Guys!

Japril  Hi! Hey!

The excessively defensive April made it appear it was a routine OBGYN visit, “making sure all the parts are in order”

Callie: Both of you?

But then the OBGYN calls Callie, up next for a consult

Callie: Um , I think I can handle this on my own

Mr. Private Practice

In Arizona’s first scene, she is with Shane attending to a  baby patient

Arizona: Hi Dr Ross, tell us what’s so special about Little Jacob here

Jacob was born with his abdominal organs out of his body. As Arizona told Shane, it was his job to keep an eye on  this baby and the other tiny humans in the NICU “it should be a quiet and adorable day”

Then Mr Private Practice Alex Karev  drops in, seeming to have missed his former headquarters

Arizona: Whoa! Look at you all grown up. How’s the private sector?

Awww, Arizona was being  the proud mentor that she is. She’s proud of his prized Alex.

Alex: Couldn’t be better. Just came by to check on my good ol' hernia kid

Arizona: Oh, great, don’t be a stranger

Alex: Yeah you too.

Alex was welcome there. Even if he had resigned from the hospital, and he proceeded to talk with Ross to check on  his shortcut kid patient  when Arizona left.

She's Such a Grumpus

Then we see the Ortho Team at work on a patient when April enters the room

April: got those X-rays, Wilson?

Callie: Think I’d be In here if  she hadn’t?

April: Somebody’s sure a Grumpus today? Wilson, fill me in

Callie raised her voice when Wilson leaves her post to report to April. ‘Hey, what the hell?”

Callie was visibly short fused as Wilson recited her status report.  Their work was put to a halt and Callie could not help her irritation

Callie: Wilson, this traction pin’s not gonna place itself

Jo: Of course

April: Such a grumpus !

April says this in a cartoon-like tone, it paved the way for the serious/hilarious scenes of Kepner and Torres throughout the episode. I always look forward to scenes with these two, their comedic chemistry is beyond amazing.

Callie: Do you see this pin, Kepner?  you call me  that nonsense word one more time, you won’t like where I  stick it

And I’m rolling on the floor laughing. And so are you. Talk about comedic timing! When Sara Ramirez delivers a hilarious Callie line, it’s extreme perfection and all you‘ll do is  laugh. You don’t even have to try. She’s a supreme comedic natural.

Check Yo self Before You Wreck Yo self

Then we see   Team Ortho and April working together, and Callie announces they're ready for the patient’s x-ray.

April: I need more irrigation, Wilson, can you take over? And leaves the room

Jo: Absolutely,  Dr. Kepner

With raised eyebrows, Callie was annoyed

Callie: “Absolutely, Dr Kepner”    Callie mimicked Jo with a mockingly strange accent,  “Who are you? I thought you had grit!

Jo: I do! I do have grit

Callie: Well all I see is Yes ma’am no ma’am sissy girl and there’s no place in Ortho for sissy girls, do you hear me!   

Then here comes her soon to be iconic line:   “Check yourself before you wreck yourself !”

She simply established Ortho as a no-nonsense surgical department in her signature badass Callie Torres way. You just had to be tough if you were in Ortho.

And it sent me into fits of laughter till I couldn’t stop.

Jerk Ass Move 

Next scene, Arizona discovers her short bowel syndrome patient Kevin was in surgery, when it was scheduled for Wednesday yet . And Alex was responsible.

Arizona confronts him,

Arizona: Hey what’re you poaching patients now?

Alex: I didn’t poach anything

Arizona: You stole my shortcut kid

Alex: Alright, up until few weeks ago, he was our shortcut kid. His parents know me, they’re fine with this.

Then Ross enters, reporting the patient’s status and Arizona  reacts  in disbelief,

Arizona: Ross? Really?

Alex: The kid’s on the operating table, what do you want me to do?

Arizona: This was a jerk ass move, Karev. And you know it.   

And she poked Karev’s chest with her finger. Uh oh. Arizona was royally pissed and Karev knew it.

Then we see Arizona coming  into the O.R. while Alex was performing surgery on Kevin, determined to take over from Ross

Arizona: You can go Ross, I got it from here

Alex: Come on, we’re in the middle of a surgery here

Arizona: I know, you stole my patient but you can’t steal Ross. He works for us, he’s my resource and I need him in the NICU, doing what he was told to do.  You need an assist? You’ve got one. How can I be of help to you?

Arizona was handling this in her own way. She was not about  to just let this issue go the way  Karev wanted it to.

Then something horribly went wrong with Ross’ patient at the NICU,

The realization 

Back with the Ortho Team and the other half of  Team Trauma April Kepner

Callie: Twenty pounds, let’s see if it’s fully reduced this time. Ready to shoot

April : Wait Im almost finished

Callie: Okay I need to see if the zip isn’t grinding on broken bone pieces

April: Just gimme a second

Callie: Just put on a lead apron!  (Callie was still impatient Callie)

April: Just gimme a second!

Callie: Kepner!

Jo: Dr Kepner, put on the damn apron!

April: Torres, I cant be in here, while you do the x-ray

And Callie stared at her, realization slowly hit her….April was on the way… So her expression and stance transformed.. and she said in a soft tone:

Callie: Uhm, Wilson, take over for Dr. Kepner

And irritated Callie turned on Jo

Callie: God, youre so weird today!

Jo: I’m sorry

Callie: Shut it. Just shut it

Gosh, looking at these pictures above, Callie is so pretty in all three displayed expressions. Even when she's angry! How can she be this beautiful?

She taught him better than this

Meantime, Arizona and Alex were having a difference of method during the surgery

Arizona was questioning Alex’s method

Alex: Staples alone should do it

Arizona: I knew you wouldn’t take the time. I know I would, but I don’t like leaks so

Alex: This isn’t my first step procedure

Arizona: Oh I know, I taught you how to do a first step procedure which is why it blows my mind that you were trying to poach my patient

Alex: Why are you makin’ such a big deal?

Arizona: Because it’s freaking rude, Alex. And I don’t deserve to be treated like that. I taught you better than this. You’re out in the world now but what you do reflects on me and I do not approve of this. And neither will  Lebackes.

Alex: So what? You're gonna tattle on me?

Nurse : Dr Robbins you're needed in the NICU 911

Callie  Cannot Carry 

Next scene, Callie and Kepner get a chance to talk about babies

Callie: How far along are you?

April: Ten weeks today

And Callie smiles at her. A far cry from the feisty Callie with the drill that we saw earlier

April:  I know it’s still early, we’re not supposed to be telling anyone but ..

And she eagerly showed Callie the baby’s ultrasound picture

Callie: Wow , but we’re happy?

April: Yeah (smiling shyly) Yeah we are, we’re really, really happy

And this is how we learn what happened to Callie’s visit to the OBGYN. And I’m sure a  rush of understanding flowed through me. Now that explains Callie’s ultra- irritated and impatient mood that day. So this was the time for revelation of the famous “devastating news” that she received.

Callie staring at the picture could not hold back her feelings anymore and broke down

April: Hey, thanks 

April was thinking at first that Callie was in tears of joy for her, but soon enough discovered the tears weren’t  for her

April : Those those tears aren’t for me, are they?

Callie was inconsolable

April: There’s a reason you were such a grumpus today

Callie: That is not a word!  (Still crying)

April: Sorry, I know, my mom said it sounds so stupid that once you hear it it’s hard to stay angry,   no this does not work on Callie

And the cover of Jump (for my Love ) plays in the background, giving the scene a serious but light tone to it. With April and Callie, it’s usually the case. They just can’t be separated from having a humor-filled scene no matter how delicate the subject of dialogue is.

But Callie was crying buckets.

Callie: We’re tryin to have another baby and I had an appointment this morning, you know, just to get the lay of the land. But I guess that since the car accident, I’ve developed all these adhesions and so I can’t carry another baby.

April was sympathetic

April: Callie, I’m so sorry

Callie: No, I’m sorry

Then out of nowhere, Jo comes and says “I’m sorry too”

It was Apology Central for these three.

Callie and April were not too welcoming of Jo’s arrival

April: Wilson, I need to put a bell on you!

Jo: I owe you both an apology. For snapping. We heard that one of the residents isn’t coming back next year and I’ve just been so afraid that it might be me.

April: Could be

Callie: Totally possible

And they both leave in opposite directions, leaving the stunned Jo with her hive itch.

Sarcasm galore from  the Torres-Kepner  grumpus duo. Simply comedic brilliance.

I mean they were having a really serious scene, a heart to heart thing going on between two friends. But  the emotional scene screeched to a  halt because of Jo’s apologetic entry. It was in line with Callie and April’s “sorry” theme, but at that time, their baby talk was a private matter.

The way Callie and April both tried to hide their emotions when Jo arrived was done in a comical way. It was a unique manner of presentation of a very sensitive topic. It was devastating news and I do appreciate how this subject matter was tackled in this episode.

The approach was with humor. It was serious but made light. The fact that it was April Kepner that Callie was interacting with, did make it a lot more pleasing because these two are hilarious together. Serious dialogue will almost always possibly be made light.

This  makes it less sad for us, the viewers. Our sorrowful feelings have been somehow neutralized by this kind of approach and I must say,I am thankful because being a Calzona shipper really eager  for a Calzona baby, I think I was even more devastated  than Callie was.

The fact that this was executed with a touch of humor is a relief. And that is not a bad thing.

The Lesson Here

Next scene, we see Arizona attending to baby patient Jacob, whose abdominal organs were outside his body.

Arizona: So observe him carefully overnight and in a few weeks we do a double thickness skin graft

Nurse : Okay

Then Alex appears at the NICU, apparently bothered that Arizona might tell on him to his new boss.

Arizona: Did you come to steal more babies?

Alex: Don’t tell Lebackes

Arizona: Oh God. That makes it worse. Get out.

Alex: Look I’m sorry. I screwed up. I’m kind of, I’m drowning over there. Your cases come in all the time, I can prove myself.  Over there, if you’re not bringing in the cases, you’re not bringing in the money and you’re a nobody. I don’t want to lose this gig. I didn’t know what else to do.

I thought Arizona was going to ward him off but she didn’t. She listened and tried to understand Alex.

Arizona: I’m in trouble and I need help.

Alex: What do you mean?

Arizona: When something like this happens, you call me. And you say “Arizona, I’m in trouble. And I need help.” And I help you. Do you understand?

Alex: Right

And Arizona leaves but not without a semi-slap non-pat on the back of Alex’s head. 

Well, Alex, you deserved that from your mentor Arizona, who loves you and  just wants the best for you. You’ve gone astray, she needed to straighten you out. Alex took it. He knew he was wrong.

Scene of All Scenes

Then we get to the most important scene.

They were in the bedroom, and Callie had told Arizona about the sad news.

Please indulge me in going through this scene step by step. It is one of the most important, deeply moving  scenes this season.

Arizona: I could

Callie:  No

Arizona: I could. I could carry the baby

I could not help my eyes fixated on how Arizona holds Callie’s hands lovingly

Callie: I won’t ask you to

Arizona: But I’m offering.  Because we want this. I want this. And I can do it.

Callie was  listening intently to what Arizona was saying, but she was dead serious and deep in thought.

Callie: We just got good again. Now we’re too fragile. When something like this goes badly, we won’t make it. I’m not gonna put us in that position.

They paused in silence for a while. It was so quiet. The scene was so serene. All I could hear was crickets.

Arizona stared at Callie for a moment. She was thinking. She was trying to absorb Callie’s thoughts on this.

Arizona: Okay

Callie: We have a beautiful life. 

We have a beautiful daughter.

 And that can be enough, right?

The emotion in this scene was too much. Callie in tears. Looking with love at her wife.

And Arizona, staring straight at Callie, so much love in her eyes. Seemed like she was trying to reassure Callie that whatever was right for Callie was right for her. And yes, if what they had was enough for Callie, then it was enough for her, too. She wanted to make the best of this situation. She knew her wife was distraught. And knew her wife was trying to  make the best of this situation, too.

Arizona: Yes. That can be enough

And Callie, while in tears, makes a laugh, a tearful laugh. Just goes to show how difficult  the struggle was for her, dealing with this pain, and it was a huge deal for her that her wife understood her. She felt Arizona’s love right there. That she was willing to go in the direction Callie thought was right for both of them. Arizona touched Callie’s heart at that moment  and that’s what led Callie to more tears.

Nobody wanted this. They wanted this to be a joyful time. Last time we saw them in bed talking was when they flipped a coin for who carries the baby. And now, on that same bed, they talk about how they could not have the baby that they  were so excited about.

It was a case of cooperative acceptance.

Each minute of this highly charged scene, one of the most intense from Callie and Arizona, was worth our undivided attention.

And it was one that didn’t involve a conflict against each other.

They both felt the pain. They shared the struggle.. And they both wanted to accept this together. On their faces were etched how they wanted to be there for each other. Each one wanted to ease each other’s pain.

The first step however, was acceptance, and Callie supplied those much needed words. That what they have can be enough. And Arizona was in agreement.

They both wanted to have a baby. We know their reasons. But this new challenge, they had to face together. Things do not always turn out as we planned or want them to, and they are facing this reality now.

If they rashly make a decision just to make up for this setback, and let Arizona carry the baby, knowing fully well that she was not ready (remember  the coin flipping scene)--she was willing but not ready, it might be a threat to their current state.

And if it does not work out for any reason, as Callie had said, they were still fragile, having just recovered  from several tragedies, it might endanger their newfound stability. She did not want to risk that. They struggled  and went through so much to reach this stage. Callie loved this relationship too much to risk getting into something that might just threaten it.

And as Callie’s tears flowed,  Arizona said those beautiful, beautiful four words that made my heart melt.

Arizona: I love you,  Calliope

This was Arizona’s answer to Callie’s pain. To Callie’s proposed solution to all this. She appreciated Callie’s being protective of their newly revived relationship. They were in the early stages of rebuilding. This new setback affected them but they were going to get through this together.

Arizona perfectly understood Callie’s reason . She respected it. They both had the same desire for a new child, but they both knew timing was of the essence.

 Callie: I love you too.

And they kissed a loving kiss.

And they hugged a very loving hug.

I was staring intently at that hug. My heart was filled to the brim with overflowing love from the scene in front of my eyes.

My eyes were glued to everything that Callie’s hands did. The way she held Arizona, how her hands trailed up and down her back ,  to fully convey how much she loves her. Gosh, I felt all the love in the world contained in that single scene, and in that hug.  

Callie’s love for Arizona was all expressed  in  that hug.

And  seeing Arizona hug Callie back, it brought me back to that scene in 6x21 when they had their breakup scene. Which incidentally was about loving each other too much and Arizona not wanting to be the one to keep Callie from having a baby.. They hugged after that scene.

The hugging scene was similar. Arizona looked similar. It was a time when I could really feel the love from Arizona and in this present  scene, now that they were married,  I felt that love even more.

To put it bluntly, it was too much to take in at first.

 It was  hard to accept without tears.

The redeeming value though was  the comfort I felt from  the extreme display of love between this couple in their last scene. It more than soothed the pain of the wound inflicted by this setback.

We had a clue after all those press releases about the devastating news that Callie was to receive. In my mind, after that press release barrage,  there was a 70 percent possibility that Callie would not be able to carry. But after the episode, I was taken aback. I thought Grey’s was too predictable for me nowadays. But alas,  It was one result I did not expect. 

I did not expect at all that they will forego having a baby.

Yes, I  expected Arizona would offer to carry, and she did. Even adoption was a perceived option.  Surprise of surprises,  they came to a mutual conclusion not to have one. I admit, I was blindsided by that decision there. And I cried along with them.

Don’t we just love it that  the Grey’s Anatomy creative team set us up to have really big expectations about them having a baby. We were engaged in thinking of cute names. We were too eager about a baby mcdimples or even just a happy healthy Calzona baby.  If pulling the rug from under us was the plan,  they succeeded indeed. We totally did not see that coming.

The challenge now is to put those hopes to rest.  In my opinion, there  was some sense of finality to the decision. Yes, this is Shondaland, we never really can predict what  will happen in the future. But for now, we should accept, together with Calzona, that Sofia is enough. Sofia is the only Calzona baby. Thoughts of ten kids will have to be shelved.  That their beautiful life is enough.

If Callie and Arizona could accept it, we should accept it too.

I am not even going to acknowledge the blaming game I chanced upon on my twitter timeline, on why Callie's capability to carry a baby was affected. That is just not deserving of any of my time. 

Hopes? Of course I hope Arizona insists to carry a baby next season or maybe the season after. She knows how Callie wants to have a baby so much. Her facial expression  said it all. 

And still, there’s still the concern about Sofia, who would be better off with siblings. But for now, we have to forget  about that and move past it.

To be honest, that deeply moving dialogue had ended all hopes for a baby in the near future. My opinion only. Who knows, anything can happen in Season 11 though.

To console ourselves,  on the brighter side, we still have a lot to be thankful for. If I need to list down all the things we should be thankful for for Calzona this Season 10, it would constitute a full article on its own.  Just as Callie and Arizona did, we should just be thankful.  And that is enough.

After  having gotten over the aftermath of the cheating tragedy, surviving the trauma of the plane crash, and the miscarriage, they face this new challenge. And as we saw them talk about it lovingly, in their bedroom, we  can rest assured  that this couple has weathered enough storms and have become strong enough to face new challenges side by side. Holding each other’s hand.

For no matter how painful this news is, we know they are extraordinary together and can overcome this new challenge. For they are stronger than ever.

I guess it all has to do with timing. Now was not the time. Given their ages, I am not sure though if they have the luxury of waiting for a long time, should they reconsider this decision.

Hoping for another Calzona baby will always be in my heart, though. Because we know how much they wanted to have that.

If there is a gem of wisdom I picked up from this episode and basically from the whole phenomenal Grey’s Anatomy series, allow me share it with you:

It’s all right to pursue bigger dreams.  But when we face a roadblock, the best way to cope, is to face it squarely. Accept.  Count our blessings. And always remember that we do have enough.

Sometimes, we have to accept that where we are is where we are supposed to be. And what we have is just enough. All things are temporary, so we just have to make the most of the setbacks we face.

That maybe the detour to a better path will serve us better in the long run.

Who knows, it may even be the best way to strengthen our bond of love with the people we share the journey with.

I wish you the best of tears for the finale. Whether Calzona are part of the cliffhangers or not, I'm just going to take a deep breath and hope for the best.

Wishing the  best for Calzona in Season 11.

Big hugs in advance.

May the  #CalzonaStrong force be with you.

Twitter:

@GAFan8