What Are They Up To?

Calzona Review 10x06 “Map Of You”

Even before this episode aired, sneak peek #2 that preceded this episode stressed me out and gave me a tummy upset.

It's stress that I should not even be feeling because of a TV show. (As if Grey's doesn't usually do this to me.)

I guess reading two interviews on the same day I saw the sneak peek, one with Jessica Capshaw and one with Tessa Ferrer added to that stress.

In these interviews, they somehow confirmed our most dreaded possibility: that Arizona has moved on and is spending time with another person, i.e. Leah.

Just to note, we saw NO scenes with Callie and Arizona together. 

I'd like to label  this as a “transitional” episode, where we see how and where they are, after major shifts in their lives. Here, we join Callie and Arizona through their separate journeys.  We see what they're up to.

I see it as an episode that sets the stage for more important events to come.

On with the Calzona dissection of this episode.

McDreamy took over the voice-over reins in this ep and I love his McVoice speaking about the human brain-- the center of attention in this episode, (second to the red mug):

“The human brain, it may be the most complex map ever created. Billions of neurons making trillions of connections. At first glance, they seem completely random, but there’s nothing random about them. 

All these connections happen to have a specific pattern. It is designed for a function.

These connections determine everything about us. What we love, what we hate, what we say, what we do”

In the first few minutes of the episode, we learn that Callie and Derek have been collaborating for months  on a research, that  involves initiating movement by using brain  sensors to help immobile patients (in this case Callie’s patient quadriplegic Mickey). 

Sara seems to have been extra beautiful in this episode, especially when she smiles, like in this pic. Just an observation.    

Our fears were real. They kissed.

I’ll speed by this next scene so please read it fast cause well, you know, it’s not a Calzona scene, but it’s a key scene.

We see Arizona’s new friend Leah, excitedly telling her peers about some secret that she can’t share. 

She pushes on with her own mysterious secret, even if we see no one really asking nor listening to what it is.

“I’ve got a secret thing going, too, I can’t tell you who kissed me though.”

Sadly, it seemed like she was the only one excited about her own story.

It was only on my second re-watch that I caught this line of Leah's because forgive me, my mind automatically goes blank when the core characters are not onscreen.

They *kissed?!!!*. My heart just fell, and it stayed on the floor till the end of the episode.

We then see Arizona and Leah blankly observing Jo get coffee and they talk about something that surprises us:

Leah: I thought you would never leave. You got my texts? I passed my intern exams 

We see Leah as the typical smitten person who grabs every chance to get attention from the object of her affection. 

Tessa Ferrer knows it, Calzona fans are annoyed, (and boy! she is going to stir this Calzona thing up). 

We learn that Arizona replied to her text with a “congrats” and it continues:

Leah     : I hoped that I would see u.  I had such an amazing time the other night.

Arizona: It was fun

Leah     : I feel like im ready to take it further

Arizona : Uhm, that’s not a good idea

Leah     : I totally get it. See you tonight?

And I see Arizona smile and was that a nod, Arizona? Was it?? Yes, she did nod. So they were going to see each other again??? Seemed so.

Callie after dancing in her underwear

Meantime, Callie has her own story going on too. 

Derek questions Callie why she wasn’t present  when they tested new brain sensors on Mickey that morning and patient Mickey kept asking why Callie wasn’t there.

The last time we saw Callie was during the  'underwear (Inner Ninja) dance' and we are curious  how she is carrying on after that epic scene

How Callie replied was both significant and surprising:

“Moving back into my place made me want to move back into MY place

Concentrate on what makes me ME. I do regenerative cartilage.

I’m not going forward with the project.  You should totally run with it”

Her statement strongly implies  that as expected, she has been doing soul-searching, but what we don't get is why she chose to discontinue the project.

Derek said it was Callie’s project and patient and that he doesn’t have time to go on with it and Callie replies,

“Maybe we should just drop it. No harm done,right?”

We were curious to see Callie this way, why she was bailing on a huge project that she in fact started,  but it’s not a time to be judgmental of Callie. She’s going through  a process. It' not our place to question her decisions.

Arizona, Alex and the “Visiting surgeon”

Then comes that scene where we see a disappointed Leah who couldn’t scrub in on Arizona’s teratoma surgery because Emma  would be observing. 

Couldn’t help but chuckle at the ribbing Arizona got from Alex:

Alex: A visiting surgeon?

Arizona: Yeah

Alex: And she’s hot. I’m just saying that it’s good I’ll be there to chaperone.

 (when Az reacts) We’re not joking about this yet?

Obviously, Alex and Arizona have, over time, developed a close friendship. Alex liberally used this license to  tease her  in reference to what happened with  Lauren (who was also a visiting surgeon) and that  'visiting surgeon Emma' might be another potential love interest for Arizona. 

Alex's teasing, even if it does make me laugh, seems like it supports how they are laying the groundwork in presenting Arizona's character.

I suspect  this is establishing Arizona as having that kind of reputation, supplemental to her having been portrayed as a player in Season 8 ("The Lion Sleeps Tonight") 

And guess what? Arizona found it funny (and true) too as she smiled and let Alex get away with his teasing.

Callie  Reinventing herself

Back to Callie, having a conversation with Mer, who tries to decide which project to choose for research funding, Callie encourages Mer to go on with her mother’s research.

“Invest in your brand.”  "Like me, I’m  reinvesting in myself"

Here, we discover Callie’s current mindset . She’s grappling with how  to take over her own life. She’s made her first step in owning this need to get herself back, and this is how she initially rolls.

What she said though,  Mer didn’t seem interested to follow through.

Advice from Alex in the O.R.

It’s interesting how Arizona is obviously bothered about how Leah has been acting all too clingy. 

Too bothered in fact, that she asks  Alex right in the middle of surgery,

Arizona   : What’s your strategy when you have a one night stand, not even, you just make out
                  with them and they get way too attached?

Alex         : You know who’s like that? Leah Murphy

Arizona   : Really?

Alex         : I slept w/ her once, maybe two times , she stuck to me like glue. That girl goes from
                   zero to I love you in 7 seconds.

Taken aback with this 'attachment Leah' tip from Alex, and seeing her reaction, let’s see what Arizona does later on.

Derek , Callie, and the Truth

We next see Derek trying to  convince Callie to talk to Mickey to allow them to take out the ineffective brain sensors due to the newly discovered tumor in Mickey's brain without taking out the tumor because of the risks involved.  

Callie was reluctant, almost apathetic, so Derek was not shy to spew out his thoughts:

Derek :You don’t wanna talk to him cause you don’t want to  look him in the eye and  tell him you're bailing on this, and you certainly don’t want to  tell him why you're bailing

Obviously ticked-off Callie counters, "Why is that?'"

Derek: "You  started this project for Arizona. When you lost interest in her, you 

              lost interest in this. You're letting your personal problems in the way of

              months of research

Callie:   You’re doing the same thing You said you’re done with the study to  

              spend time with your kids.

Derek:  That’s completely different

Callie : Oh why is it different, Derek? 'Cause your family’s perfect and mine’s a

             disaster? 'Cause you're leaving the study to support your wife and I'm 

             doing mine to forget her?

Derek:  I know what you're going through

Callie:  You don’t know anything about it. "

'

My heart on the floor was ripping apart with every sentence of Callie's pain.

"You guys have figured it out, how to make the pieces fit, and I thought we did too, but I’m figuring this out for myself too so just bear with me, okay?

I will talk to Mickey."

Callie moved me to tears here. She was a mess.  It was the voice of a broken human being, wondering where all the pieces fit.

Theirs was a perfect, stable relationship. She did not have an inkling this could happen to them. And this unexpected blow to their marriage  is now manifesting its emotional effect on Callie.

She is in her healing process as she said to Mer, ("reinventing myself"); and to Derek, ("moving back to  MY place" , "Concentrating on what makes me ME"),   but evidently, she was in pain.

The perfectness of Derek’s situation all the more gave her the chance to compare, (really not advisable at a time like this) how wretched theirs had become, while Derek’s family has it all figured out.

Callie realized just in time, she didn't have to take it out on Derek. There was truth to what Derek said. Broken as she was, she resolved to figure it out, and saw the logic of talking to Mickey.

Callie talks to Mickey

When Callie warned  Mickey of the hazards of this potentially fatal operation, the explanatory part comes, when Mickey tells Callie how he became a quadriplegic.

He caused a car accident because he was drunk, and  it claimed the lives of two teenage girls. He had so much guilt, he felt unworthy of being taken care of by people and feels he deserved to have died for causing it. 

Every single day for 9 yrs since the accident, he felt guilt and found a good opportunity to redeem himself when Callie asked him to participate in this project.

Mickey: “When I had the chance to do something affecting me  in a good way, for the first time, I thought I was worth having around. If I die, give my brain to science and I’ll still help. Let me help."

Callie started this project for Arizona and lost interest in it. Back then, that was her only goal. To help her wife who had just recently lost her leg, to make it easier for her wife to be mobile.

That goal died with Arizona's departure from her life. Callie had seen no sense to go on with it . Her only purpose for the project is one person—her wife.

Talking to Mickey gave Callie a sense of purpose for this project, and essentially, it gives her a chance to apply this sense of purpose in her life.

That this project is not just for a selfish pursuit, but one that can save lives and ease the conditions of so many.

As with every Greys ep,  that talk with Mickey struck a chord within her. The potential of this project can affect the lives of many people.

Parallel to her life, she may have spent her life since she got married, all for her wife. Dedicated to her, but now, with Mickey’s story, she changed her mind about boxing herself in, including her capabilities. 

Callie is an amazing surgeon and this turn of events involving Mickey, may just be what has sparked in her to see the the bigger purpose of her profession. 

That she will share her capability for the good of many and not give in to selfishness just because she was focused on her problems.

How this one man, who was in a very helpless immobile condition, still wanted to help in any and all the ways that he could, because  of his extreme guilt.

That was enough for Callie. She was capable and talented enough. The  Superstar with a Scalpel had more to give. Just because her life was a mess and she is broken, doesn’t mean she’ll underperform and not use her talents to the limit.

Talking with Mickey and seeing Mickey’s way of viewing life gave Callie enough insight to move on with grace. To aim to still be productive and still achieve greater heights in her career. Even if shattered inside.

The irony is, instead of Callie convincing Mickey, Mickey Convinced Callie. 

So Callie talks Derek into the surgery.

Derek: “I still think it’s a bad idea.”

Callie: “Mickey has got nothing to lose and everything to gain. 

So Derek acceded to do it that night.

May I just say, I need to say this now, that with every shot I took of Callie/Sara, I couldn't help but notice that she really looks especially even more stunning in this episode. There's a certain glow about her. She gets more beautiful by the day.

Back to the review.

Arizona gets frank with Leah

Leah let slip that it was Arizona that she kissed. Maybe she was just too thrilled about it, she wanted to brag and shout it to the world, and hey, Arizona overheard her and summoned her and we know the rest. 

Oh okay, let me quote them anyway verbatim:

Leah      :I’m sorry they pretty much figured it out.

Arizona : Im sorry  but I’m about to be very frank.

                The other night was a bad call on my part. I was lonely and it was 

                lovely but it was one night and that’s all it will ever be. So if u have

                different expectations pls adjust them

Leah:     Of course, there’s no need to apologize it’s my fault. I don’t open up

                to people much and when I try to open up a little bit, I can get carried away,it's
                happened before

                And you, I just always admired you as a surgeon and as a person and I thought you

                thought about me. I misunderstood, I went overboard and I'm sorry it wont happen

                again.

Arizona:  Leah...

Leah:     Thanks for understanding

Leah extended her hand to seal it with a shake,  Arizona did not and had an ounce of guilt/pity in her eyes for Leah, who went straight to the bathroom.

That scene was from the sneak peek and I don’t know why I cried when I first saw it. 

Maybe Mainly because 

number 1, Arizona felt sorry for Leah, and didn’t just brush off her reaction. She cared enough to be concerned about this reaction of Leah’s. You could see it in Arizona's eyes and face, how she felt guilty and did not want to hurt Leah.

Number 2, I won't lie, I don’t know why I myself felt sorry for Leah. I guess somehow, we all know how it feels to be rejected.  Being a Calzona shipper runs through my veins, but I was human enough for one second, to understand Leah in that scene. But that one second is up.

I cannot guarantee though if I can understand her in future scenes, because still, she is the person who comes in between my Calzona's relationship and that can never be okay with me.

Sure, Leah's vulnerable, willing to jump into any kind of relationship, and she's been called a stalker, is clingy, too attached. She has her own sob  story too, for sure, but that's not our concern right now. 

All I want to say is, she's better off with another partner, please, not Arizona. Arizona is supposed to be focused on mending ties with Callie. She's supposed to be still loving to Callie, though she moved on. 

So Leah, please do not be part of this. It would be unwise. You have a bright future ahead of you, do not come between Calzona. That's a stern but gentle warning.   Stop texting Arizona and stop reading her texts. Back off, Leah.

Callie decides

Then we see Callie’s scene with Derek, where Mickey has died and which makes Callie decide.

“This way he can do the most good for the most people, he would be grateful you did exactly what you  told him to"

Then she decided  not to drop the project, and this is how she rationalizes:

“You were right, I was doing it for her. And now I'm doing it for  a million people I’ll never even meet."

Arizona's bed scene with her cellphone

Imagine Derek’s voice-over and imagine Arizona’s “bed scene” with her cellphone.

This one scene, I was definitely not ready for.  I thought the sneak peek was already enough stress. Then I see Arizona, sleepless, restless in her dark hotel room. Yes, thank goodness she lives in a hotel and not any intern's place. And reaches for her cellphone. 

Then  I can't believe what I just saw. She scrolled the message list, tapped on "Leah", which conspicuously was just below Callie's message  (Funny how the show's writers love to play with our feelings) 

 and texted, “What are you up to?”

I was hoping against hope she wouldn’t hit the 'send' button. Really hoping. But she did. Her hitting 'send" sent me to my death.

After staring at Jessica's cute thumb hitting that send button, 

The questions kept popping up in my unmapped brain:

What possessed her to even reach for her phone and text Leah?

Why was she lonely when only a few weeks have passed after she and Callie were in that therapist’s waiting room trying to fix the marriage?

Was her love for Callie this shallow? Just a few weeks of being alone and she longs to be in the arms of anyone, in this case a smitten intern?

Sorry, I love my Arizona, but these actions, even Jessica had said, are “slutty”.

We do feel so defensive of Callie, but Callie right now is going through her own process. 

As we’ve seen her last ep, she is angry at Arizona and kicked her out of the apartment. She doesn't want to have anything to do with Arizona.

As Jessica said in her interview,  the turning point for Arizona that let her  decide to move on was when Callie said to the people at the gala that she was dead. That was the time when she said her character had to decide it  was time to go on with her life.

At this point, we can conclude, as painful as it may sound, that both Callie and Arizona have moved on. This episode never even showed them together in one scene.

Both are (as we wanted them to), going through their own processes. Their own journeys. Individually.

We see them go on and struggle with their own lives:

Callie getting her life and self back, and seeing how getting herself back doesn’t mean she has to put her career in the backburner.

Arizona struggling with loneliness, and vulnerability, and her srtuggle with the PTSD that she does not know she has.

It's easy to ask. Why is she lonely? Callie can handle the loneliness, why can't she? 

Derek’s voice-over sends a very important message:

“This system of connections compels us to act, and choose and behave, sometimes seemingly against our own will. But it is not random at all. It is the map of who we are.”

Portent of what we are to discover in the coming episodes, of what caused Arizona to act this way. She has been acting weird, and this may even have been unintentional on her part. It is possible there is something pushing her to act this way. 

"We're just starting to learn the extent of the brain's connections, in how far they reach, how deep they go. But we know that every connection matters, and where one is broken, it usually means some damage has been done." 

Sigh. What happens now?

Did Shonda create a perky, sunshiny character only to ruin her reputation? 

Only to besmirch a character profile who has been a Good Man in a Storm with a strong set of principles and a good moral compass – to becoming a ....sorry to be blunt, -- slut?

It’s sad that her image is smeared as it is now, when many have looked up to Arizona.

According to Jessica, we will know in the coming episodes, why Arizona has been acting this way. We get to delve into her past, and her relationship with Callie since.

I truly hope we will see why.

It hurts to see Arizona act this way. It’s just not her. 

Many in the fandom are frustrated at how Arizona has become. A lot are disappointed. A lot are aghast.  A lot are defensive of Callie who has been always dedicated to Arizona yet gets cheated on in return, and now, THIS. 

Even if I sense the potential of this text message to slightly divide the Calzona fandom,  I hope majority still stick with Team Calzona.

This brings us back to the same question : Why did she cheat? Why does she easily hook up with women? First with Lauren, then very fresh from a broken marriage, she hooks up with Leah. Why can’t she stand to be alone? Why is she vulnerable?

I’m expecting these:  1) PTSD, 2) her own personal history which we know little of,  and 3) the issues Arizona and Callie had in their past which they never talked about , will be the reasons that we see. I'm interested to see how they will present this.

I don’t know how the writers will justify the cheating and the slutty ways. I have hope they will. I hope Arizona’s character will be redeemed in the end. The writers have a lot of explaining to do, if they decide to uphold Arizona's integrity.

Callie, I hope she finds her way. Little by little. She’s newly recharged, impassioned about her work and its purpose, may it lead to more success (though we know that in Ep. 9 ,she’ll be sued for malpractice).

For now, I’ll just strengthen my resolve to keep the faith.

A lot of questions need to be answered. A lot of pain to be ready for.

A long journey apart for our Calzona .

As I said, I believe this is a transitional episode after the highly emotional five episodes we’ve had so far.

Episode 10x06 laid the foundation for more intriguing and exciting things to come for Calzona.

I'm picking up my heart from the floor now. I need to prepare it for more Calzona challenges ahead. Let’s hold tight and hope we survive.

Whatever happens, I keep the faith. 

Team Calzona forever.

Twitter: @GAFan8