Rassing Berries and Callie's Golden Advice

Calzona Review  11x15 “I Feel The Earth Move”

Thing with this review is that this is written after watching that abominable  sneak peek of 11x16. No bias there, sorry.

All that is in my head at the moment  is that sneak peek but no. I cannot be weak and give in and speak about that sneak peek. Cannot speak about that sneak because we need to talk about  11x15 and the opening voice over…

“Your kids, your keys, your family photo album.  It’s`the list you repeat in your head  before you fall asleep. It’s the shortlist of things you grab in case of disaster. The list makes you feel in control. Your kids, your keys, your family photo album. When the fire starts, when the tsunami hits, when the earth literally quakes, do you remember your list? Or do you just duck and cover?”

After last week’s breakthrough “melt our heart” episode, because Callie held Arizona’s hand and comforted her when she needed her most,  this episode in turn was a character sketch of Calliope Torres being a  wacky  but wonderful  wordsmith who walloped our wonderland.

Calliope shared a patient with  Maggie.  Their patient was Jean Dominy, a 75-year old , sexually active angioplasty patient who was living it up and having as much life  adventures as she could, even  trying “stunts” from a book for lovemaking . She was trying routine number  28 when she damaged her hip.

 This woman, who was funnily being herself and being candid about her fun adventures in bed, was the woman who unknowingly imparted sage advice to these two “sometimes lonely” souls.

Arizona had like five seconds of screen time, but that was okay. This time, the focus was on Callie and since we barely have Callie and Arizona screen time together  after 11x05,  it is Callie’s  turn to have more screen time.

Arizona clocked in quality screen minutes with her cute phone with cute phone case. And for good continuity, at least we got to know how her mentor Dr Herman was doing n this dialogue,

Owen:  Heard anything from Herman? What’s she doing?

Arizona: (reading text message)  “ Enjoying blind institute. Learning not to bump into things, typing this, obvi. Don’t kill any babies.”

Difference in opinion

Maggie was discouraging Jean from having the 5-hour  surgery on her hip that Callie suggested. Callie explained it would make her mobile and flexible and it was an attractive proposal for Jean.  Maggie was against it due to Jean’s age.

Jean  was married 44 years  with the same man. “Three children, seven grandchildren, and a lifetime of memories.”

Jean : He was the first man I have ever loved. And is the only man that I ever will love. But I’ll be hot-damned if he’s going to be the only man to ever rass my berries. I mean I have time left.  And there’s still things that I wanna do, you know? There’s things that I haven’t done and a whole lot of things I didn’t even know you could do.

Before Jean could graphically demonstrate the other sexual positions  to  explore,

Jean: I mean what’s the point of living? If you can’t try something new. I want that surgery.

Maggie had given Callie a piece of her mind:

Maggie: I cant believe you would suggest a surgery like that to a patient without running it by me first.

Callie: I’m sorry you called me for my opinion. I do hip replacements all the time on far older patients with far weaker hearts.  She’s clearly still active. I think her heart’s in pretty good shape.

Maggie: That’s not your call.

Callie: Okay we are talking about  a healthy, vibrant woman here, she deserves the best quality of life that we can give her. If she wants a new hip, it’s her call.

Maggie: So she can get laid? Really? You think that’s important enough to risk her dying on the table?

Callie: Her hip is so damaged that she winds up immobilized and bedridden for the rest of her life and yeah I sure do, cause either way, she’s dying.

Maggie would not let up so Callie said she will reevaluate and see other options.

Turns out, they still went on with the surgery.

The Callie did not pass up the chance  to rib Maggie about Ethan the radiologist, whom she met while being stuck in the elevator for a minute,  and if they were a  thing.

Callie: Yeah right so you’re so not into cute smart or funny?

Maggie: Well he’s a radiologist

Callie: Did you just go all upstairs downstairs?

Maggie: No I didn’t mean it like that.

Callie: Oh you don’t get down at work. You have many other fine qualities. It’s okay if you’re kind of a snob.

Maggie : I’m not. You make me sound awful. Dating down, what is that, even. I just don’t date people who are

Callie: Beneath you?

Maggie: No. that is not what I was going to say.

Callie: Underlings

This scene with Callie doing the underling radiologist voice “Just a lowly maker of x-rays, madam” that led  Maggie to snap, “ Will you stop it?”

Oh Callie and her on point humor had me in stitches.  Applause! Applause!

Screw the Gap

Callie gave Maggie a piece of her mind in this conversation in the scan room.

Maggie: It’s not because he’s a radiologist. And it’s not because I don’t date people from work. I just, I kinda don’t date.

Callie: Listen, I was just giving you a hard time.

Maggie: There’s  a gap. Between me and most people. There’s just always has been. I used to think I was younger in school but even  after school. The gap, it just got bigger. And more impossible. I wasn’t too young, I was just too different. So I know what it looks like when I say yes to Ethan. It’s fun and we’re happy for a while until it’s not. Things always get awkward and weird so I over correct and he misinterprets and then we’re not on the same page anymore cause we were always miles and miles apart with  this gap between us, pretending it wasn’t there. I don’t wanna pretend.  I came here to work and just stay focused on that, and I’m fine on my side of the gap. I’m a little lonely but fine. There’s just no point to me saying yes.

Callie: Yeah, okay that’s a load of crap. When you were younger, fine cause you were weird. But now you’re a grown up.  Doing your grown up job with other grown ups. There’s no gap. And there’s nothing to lose. There’s  just you being scared and for no reason.  So choose not to be! Life’s too short to be scared. Screw the gap.  Let Ethan, y’know, rass your berries.

Maggie: Ew      
                                               

Callie: Goose your gander,  okay tickle your tail feathers, cup your coconuts

Maggie: Nope

Callie: Rock your rump. Poke your hontas. Wallop your wonderland.

And Callie doubled up in laughter with that happiness pose,   it was a sight to behold.

Those were the funniest Callie lines the whole of S11 and I’m so glad the humor in this ep made up for all the tears shed in the recent previous episodes.

You gotta hand it to Sara Ramirez. She is that extremely talented that she just delivers these comedic scenes effortlessly and they’re funnier than funny.

The episode ends…

 “That list of things you grab in a disaster,  your kids, your keys, your family photo album, that list goes out the window. When the disaster starts with you wondering, If this was the woman who has been screwing your husband. That’s a whole other earthquake.”

Notes:

Okay I cannot fall into the trap of slipping and begin to talk about that sneak peek of 11x16 which was a whole other earthquake in itself.

But really, I wouldn’t want to blame  Jean Dominy, the fun-loving  lady who gave  nuggets of  life wisdom to  Team Cardio-Ortho Callie and Maggie.

How could I blame Jean Dominy when she just opened Callie and Maggie’s eyes to what the point of life is. This was the clincher line that  Callie listened to  intently  “I mean I have time left.  And there’s still things that I wanna do, you know? There’s things that I haven’t done and a whole lot of things I didn’t even know you could do.”

It seemed like a light bulb moment for Callie.  Here was a woman almost double her age, embracing life and wants to do so many things more, both in bed and not.

It was that zest for life that rubbed off on Callie.  This woman was enjoying her life to the fullest.

I suspect this is one of the reasons that pushed Callie further, to date and explore and seek adventure, to  go on with the dating game, meet new people…and yes, give that girl a long 28 –second kiss, a kiss longer than any other Calzona kiss ever. Oops this is not the topic.

I was beaming with pride when I saw  Callie give sage advice to gal pal Maggie.  With her experiences, and with Jean’s inspiring attitude, she learned to grab life by the reins and live it well and not waste it.

This line described her current mindset : “And there’s nothing to lose. There’s  just you being scared and for no reason.  So choose not to be! Life’s too short to be scared. Screw the gap.”

For Callie Torres, there was no fear to speak of.  And she was teaching Maggie what she picked up from their patient Jean. And let Ethan rass her berries.

So seeing Callie’s way of thinking,  it is a no-brainer why Callie was enjoying her date and kiss with the Portia-lookalike.

So enough of me blaming anyone. Jean actually made much sense . She taught me and Callie to :Make the most of life. Because life is short.  Keep it sweet.  Keep it simple.  Keep it fun.

And hey, Callie is enjoying life right now, going into the next episode. She is friends with Arizona and we know she will be there for her and vice versa.

Whatever happens, what matters is that Callie is happy. And she deserves to be happy. I just can’t really think of  anyone poking anyone’s hontas yet.  

So see you on the other side.

We need all the luck and love to carry us through the next ep.

Because the odds will not (yet) be in our favor.  But they will be. You betcha.

Calzona Strong.

Twitter:

@GAFan8