Greys Anatomy Review 11x21 “How to Save a Life”
This episode that was rich in symbolism and irony, opened with a burning candle -- the exact same candle that was the opening visual of 5x01.
In 5x01, the candle was one of the many candles used to outline their dreamhouse, the candle house... the candle whose flame was snuffed out…
In 5x01, Mer had a bad dream of Derek
dying in a car crash but she was relieved that it was just a dream.
In this episode, the snuffed out candle was superimposed on a background
reflection of police car lights.
Incidentally , the voice over to 5x01 debunks the possibilities of “happily
ever afters” so the candle visual spelled sadness from the beginning, amidst Mer’s opening
voice over, which was the same as her
voice over at the beginning of S11….
When I was five, my
mom lost me in a park. I don’t remember much. Except that one minute I was
riding the carousel, and the next, she was gone.
I don’t remember how I
found her. I don’t remember how I got home. All I remember I what happened
next. She told me not to worry, she told me everything will be fine. Funny isn’t it? The way memory works? The
things you can’t quite remember, and the things you can never forget. The
carousel never stops turning…
The goosebumps started. The scene from 4x17 paralleled with
11x20 flashed, and the foreshadowing
was eerie.
Derek: I ‘ll be home before you know it.
Mer: I just feel that I just got you back and now you’re going again
and I..I just have to stay here.
Derek: You’re right you do, you just have to stay here. Don’t move.
Wait for me. I’ll be back before you know it.
That scene in 4x17
had identical words that Derek said in
11x20 when he said goodbye to Meredith. The difference though, is that after that episode, Meredith had a
dream that Derek died, but it was just a dream. This time though.....
Beautiful day
It was a beautiful sunny day in Seattle.
Derek was on a ferryboat. Amidst the sparkling blue waters.
He was smiling. He seemed happy.
He was on his cell phone. Apparently, he called Meredith.
Everything was fine. He was just to go to DC and come back for good.
Cellphone reception was too weak, that he didn’t get to hear
Amelia’s offer to let him join in on a spondylolisthesis
case.
And there was no need to turn back, he knew a secret shortcut—a shortcut that would lead him to fulfill
his fate.
A fate that left millions of fans of Grey’s Anatomy
heartbroken. And it did not even matter who shipped who. It was inconsolable heartbreak.
Period.
THE WHY’S
My mind is full of questions-- the whys and the 'how the hells.' Why did
circumstances lead to what we all dreaded. WHY???
The questions are endless…
For goodness sakes, how did it happen that on this same day as Derek’s flight to DC, would this 17-yr old Charlie, choose to ask a female friend to go for a drive on his parents’ fancy sports car and drive like a madman? They caused a major road accident that led the car to fly and crash and cause another vehicle to overturn, which had on board Little Winnie and her mother Sarah.
Out of all the possible motorists, why did the witness to the crash have to be Derek?
As a doctor and as a responsible human, Derek chose to miss his plane and help out the victims. Cell phone reception was bad, there was no chance of getting help for the victims who needed immediate care.
He consoled a kid victim with these words, little did he know, the same words would be said back to him by the same kid, hours later:
That his wife and daughter had a perfectly memorized mantra that surgeons should never be late because people die when surgeons are late, and he died because a neurosurgeon had dinner and was late to the O.R.
Derek: You have this. Don’t back down.
As we embark on a new chapter in Grey’s Anatomy with Derek's passing, I still hope that those who still believe in true love will be inspired by this love story, one of the best I have ever known and which we have witnessed on our favorite TV show.
I quote this Merder dialogue in 5x19, consoled by Derek’s words, because Derek believes in Mer’s strength and we should too…
Derek: If there's a crisis you don't freeze. You move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you've seen worse. You've survived worse. And you know, we'll survive too. You say you're dark and twisty. It's not a flaw. It's a strength. It makes you, who you are. I'm not going to get down on one knee. I'm not going to ask a question. I love you Meredith Grey. And I want to spend the rest of my life, with you.
Meredith: And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Hero
Derek Christopher Shepherd was a doctor, a husband, a father, a friend. A ‘tremendously gifted’ neurosurgeon. And he damn well saved lives. Saving lives was his destiny.
He may not have been perfect. But he was perfectly imperfect.
A doctor’s calling constitutes an oath. And that is to save lives. Derek did his time. He saved lives all his life as a neurosurgeon and even until the last few hours of his life, and even in death. He had fulfilled his oath. And he damn well did it. And he did it beautifully.
That truck from nowhere wouldn’t have hit him if he didn’t stop to help the hapless victims of the deadly car crash he witnessed. He could have chosen to speed by to catch his plane. Nobody was looking , anyway.
But no. He chose to help. He died because he saved people’s lives. And he died because he CHOSE to save lives. He was a hero.
And that is the most noble way to go.
We may have lost him, his wife and children may have lost him physically, the medical field may have lost one of the most brilliant surgeons it has ever had, but the love and affection he had shared, to the love of his life, to his future little Dr Shepherds, the talent that he had so generously shared , and the dignity with which he had shared all that, will remain in our hearts forever.
For me, no other show has come close, by far.
And since it is my favorite TV show, it means I have the utmost respect and love for its creator.
Saying goodbye to one of the show’s central characters is painful in the most unexplainable way. And it had to take the creator to write this epic episode, because Derek Shepherd deserved a most noble way to go. And MerDer deserved a glorious conclusion to their love story.
He had to go out with a bang. The love story may have ended, and thankfully in a beautiful way, but the love did not end.
The extremely passionate reaction to Derek’s death and how it unfolded is extraordinary. And that is totally attributable to the creator’s genius.
Such fan engagement and investment is rare and however highly emotional the reactions may be, it only means one thing. That the creator and the production behind the show has done a more than excellent job in coming up with such an epic episode.
For a show on its 11th season, to have such invested fan reaction with this kind of magnitude is phenomenal. And honestly I do not question how the story turned out.
For how do you end a perfectly great love story? You don’t. When death ends it, the love is elevated into a level of immortality.
The Merder love story ended physically. But the love did not. This is just the way that we can truly say that they were truly made for each other. And that only death could separate them.
Grey’s Anatomy has touched my life. It does not give me empty, fake realities to hope for. It can be very cruel at times, but at best, it mirrors humanity and reality as it possibly can.
It does not give us false, fairy tale hopes that people live forever and that hotshot neurosurgeons are not prone to accidents. Because in reality, everything ends. Anyone is vulnerable.
This voice over from 5x01 agrees with me:
“Fairy tales…the stuff of dreams…the problem is, fairy tales don’t come true. It’s the other stories that begin in dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable, It’s the nightmares that always seem to become reality.
The person that invented the phrase’ happily ever after’ should have his ass kicked so hard.”
However, even as the show does not shield us from harshness, it also shows us that true love IS possible and that the only way truest love can end is by death. And that is the best kind of love to have.
What matters is that it inspires us to never lose faith and hope for this kind of true love and that life be lived in the best badass, hardcore, superstar way as possible.
We don’t even have to be doctors to save lives, but the noble essence of saving a life, even on a roadside, by Derek’s heroic example in this episode, will never be forgotten.
Grey’s Anatomy has inspired me and continues to inspire me. I believe it always will.
Because Grey’s Anatomy is life.
_____________________
I want to pay respects to a most revered and loved character on Greys Anatomy, Dr Derek Christopher Shepherd. And to my first OTP MerDer.I got hooked on Grey’s because of MerDer and Mertina. MerDer was my first OTP. If i did not get to love MerDer, i wouldn’t have been hooked on Greys. If I didn’t get hooked on Greys, i would not have known Calzona. This is how special MerDer is to me.
In Callie's simple, accurate words to Mer : "Look, you and Derek are living proof that love exists. You guys are a freakin romance novel and I for one, am rooting for you two. Team MerDer!” Like Callie, I’ve rooted for them too.Team MerDer for always.
Twitter:
@GAFan8
Special credits to @Calzona502 for guiding me through details of old Grey's :)
Out of all the possible motorists, why did the witness to the crash have to be Derek?
As a doctor and as a responsible human, Derek chose to miss his plane and help out the victims. Cell phone reception was bad, there was no chance of getting help for the victims who needed immediate care.
For this esteemed surgeon
who always started his surgeries with his signature statement “It’s a beautiful day to save lives,” it was a
must to help.
He could have chosen to just ignore what happened. But he
rescued them, shielded them from seeing their loved ones in a lot of pain. He was
gentle
and reassuring to them when he treated them, he knew they were in pain.
He was, to put it
simply, A SUPERHERO. He pulled Winnie and Sarah out of the car wreck. He played
Ortho surgeon as he popped Sarah’s hip back in the socket to prevent her
from losing her leg. He steadied Charlie
from falling as he badly hit his head, and carried him from harm’s way when the sports car`exploded.
He controlled the cut in Alana’s stomach.
He made do with scant resources on hand--Like dry cleaning
plastic bag to keep Alana’s guts from
spilling out, the smoke from the exploded car as smoke signal, a makeshift
crowbar to smash car glass.
Everything went right. He gave critical first aid care to
the badly injured victims and prevented them from dying. In truth, they would
have died if he didn’t help them
Sure. As it was mentioned in the scene, “Accidents
happen to anyone” as if Shonda had
to emphasize, even a hotshot
neurosurgeon who had everything was not exempt. “The world is shifting on its axis or something crazy, some wormhole to
another universe has opened.”
The episode was filled with deliberate irony.
The last hours of
Derek, were wrought with irony. And even his words. And this would later on cause us even more
pain and we were helpless about it.
Derek knew his strength. He had no doubt of his skills and
they were perfect in his hero duties at that moment, even if Alana doubted him:
“Please don’t say that. It’s
insulting. I don’t let people die. I’m very good at my job. Even next to the
roadside, okay? I’m thinking."
He consoled a kid victim with these words, little did he know, the same words would be said back to him by the same kid, hours later:
"Well you’re not dead cause I feel a pulse in your wrist. You
know what that means? It means your heart’s still beating. And you cant be dead
if your heart’s still beating.
Wanna know if you’re dead? Feel your pulse."
Much as he assured Winnie the kid victim, the truth of his
vulnerability came straight from the mouth of the babe, and looking back at
that scene just pounded the reality that as intelligent doctor as he might be, he is not omnipotent.:
Derek: No one’s gonna
die, Winnie
Winnie: You
aren’t God, so you don’t know.
In these his last hours, through his conversation with
Winnie, we saw how much his wife Meredith meant to him. :
“Every kiss before the right kiss doesn’t count anyway. I’ve kissed a
lot of women. The first time I kissed my wife, well, she wasn’t my wife then,
she was just this girl in the bar. And when we kissed, it..it was like, I got
to tell you, it was like I never kissed any other woman
before. It was like the first kiss…the right kiss.”
No man would ever talk of kissing a woman in this way if she wasn’t the love of
his life and if there were any other woman for him. And he said this to a
stranger, to a child, randomly.
All in a day’s work, he observed his altruistic handiwork for the day, perfect
time for him to say his signature line “it’s a beautiful day to save lives”
Winnie: What does that
mean
Derek: It’s just a
thing I say
That was the last time he would ever say those words.
Rescued
The smoke signals from the car explosion worked, rescue
finally came.
Everything was already fine and dandy. He had been a good
Samaritan. Even the paramedic had to pat the good doctor on the back for a job
well done. The question is… why did the most tragic thing have to happen?
Reminiscent of the car crash in Season 7, this situation also involved a truck that came out of nowhere.
Derek was about to go home. As he made a half turn, he stopped the car, and placed it in a compromising position on the road. He stopped
because he was distracted by a ringing
cellphone. Question is, why did the
cellphone ring when he was in a place where there was never supposed to be a cell signal?
It was fate. Only a strange turn of fate could make that phone ring when there was no signal.
And this would be the start of the ironies in this episode.
The Ironies
He witnessed people who met an accident, and he saved them. It
was painful to accept that he saved those people’s lives, but after a few
seconds after they were rescued, why did he have to meet an accident himself?
He was a brain surgeon and he got a brain injury.
He had saved so many people’s lives in his entire career as
a celebrated brain surgeon that even the president of the United States called
on him for his brain mapping project.
He was one of the best neurosurgeons in the country and he was part of a teaching hospital who had
surgeons who “repaired the unrepairable” and who were “out of control
amazing” and had been teaching aspiring
surgeon residents, including one who had become his wife, and yet there he was
brought to a below par hospital that was not a trauma center nor a teaching
hospital, and whose doctors were not properly trained
He sustained a head
laceration. The normal emergency response for a car accident victim was to get a head CT yet the substandard hospital skipped
that very vital procedure.
That his wife and daughter had a perfectly memorized mantra that surgeons should never be late because people die when surgeons are late, and he died because a neurosurgeon had dinner and was late to the O.R.
And the neurosurgeon not only responded late to the page, he
was “at a dinner” and was due to arrive
in 20 minutes, (which would have even been too late) and instead arrived after an hour and a
half—way too late to even hope for a reversal of the bleed.
Derek Shepherd,
respected and celebrated neurosurgeon, died of a damage to the brain.
My goose bumps wouldn’t quit. And so do the tears.
It hurts too much.
The fandom is shocked and reeling
from this huge tragedy but not
dumbfounded.
And the v.o. continues...
And the v.o. continues...
She told me not to worry. She told me everything. Funny, isn’t it, the way memory works. The
things you cant quite remember, and the things you can never forget.
As if to stress the irony even
further, we see a patient being received by Owen and Amelia, Owen the best
trauma surgeon and Amelia, the brilliant neurosurgeon like her brother; the
other Shepherd, Derek’ sister. This was Derek’s home hospital, a hospital that will certainly give him the best care
possible, the hospital of which he is part owner, a hospital which is the
finest teaching hospital and which would be able to give Derek the best care
possible, was welcoming a patient with a
similar blunt force trauma, open skull fracture.
He was welcomed willingly by two
of GSMH’s key surgeons that the patient needed,
The contrast was appalling.
Frustrating. Heartbreaking.
We were all silently hoping it was
Derek that was in that ambulance. But disappointingly, it was not.
Instead, as if the irony were not stressed enough, we see the injured Derek brought to the Dillard Medical Center, whose unwelcoming doctor was hesitant to take him in because they already had received patients he described in the most grossly unprofessional manner possible: “the girl with the guts and the dude with the head injury” saying they are not a trauma center, they are not equipped for this and they have no rooms
Instead, as if the irony were not stressed enough, we see the injured Derek brought to the Dillard Medical Center, whose unwelcoming doctor was hesitant to take him in because they already had received patients he described in the most grossly unprofessional manner possible: “the girl with the guts and the dude with the head injury” saying they are not a trauma center, they are not equipped for this and they have no rooms
The lack of accountability was frustrating:
Paramedic: What are we supposed to do with
the guy? Look at him.
Doctor :All right, fine this isn’t on me
Derek Shepherd renowned
neurosurgeon, was a John Doe patient (where the hell was his Identification?)
His paramedic description went: John Doe broadsided by a semi truck, blunt
force trauma to the head, chest and abdomen. Persistent hypotension after two
liters of saline. Pulse is thread at 130.
But he was still alive. And we
were happy to see him“talk” but not really talk. Because he couldn’t.
We only knew Derek’s thoughts
through his 'mute words':
Derek: Youre not dead. Just breathe. Scalp lac. Probably multiple
fractures.Try and hold still.
Doctor: John Doe. Bad MVA. Had to be extricated. Positive loss of
consciousness at the scene. He’s poorly
responsive.
Our most revered neurosurgeon,
celebrated by the country, in all his neurosurgical brilliance, was ironically unresponsive. He was hearing and understanding what the
doctors were saying but we were the only ones
privileged to hear his mute responses.
Via his thoughts
Doctor: What’s your name sir? Can you hear me?
Derek: Yes yes I can hear you. Loss of verbal skills, possible bleeding in the
brain
His pupils are equal and reactive
Derek : Good sign, still should get a CT
“….He could be bleeding on his chest
Can you please tell me your name. Can you please tell me anything
We all hoped and rooted for Derek
to be able to speak and at least say his name..but he just could not. We could
feel Derek’s struggle and desire to speak, but this was not to be.
I’m ordering a head CT. I don’t know the extent of his head injury
Derek: She’s right. You don’t.
…he’s bleeding into his belly. We don’t have time for a CT
Derek: Arrogant. Because she’s younger than you, and probably because she’s a
woman.
We don’t have time for a CT. He needs to go straight to the O.R
Derek: You have this. Don’t back down.
The argument continued..
“….The CT can wait”
“….The CT can wait”
And who should see him in his
bloodied injured state, but Winnie, the young girl whom he saved, and taught
about how to know if she was alive via
touching the pulse. And Winnie now had to remind him about that. ..
Winnie: You’re not dead. I know you’re not dead. Know how I know? Cause
I can feel your pulse which means your heart is beating. Your heart is beating
which means you’re not dead, okay Hey, eyes on me. You stay not dead, okay? It’s
a beautiful day to save lives, right? So you stay not dead.
And Winnie had to go
Derek : Im not dead. Im not
dead.
Little Winnie’s description of
Derek’s heroism couldn’t have been described better:
“He’s my friend”,
“He pulled me and my mom out of our car` after the accident. He fixed
her leg, he helped Charlie. And he put Alana’s insides back in. He saved us.”
Doc: He saved you?
Winnie: All of us. He’s a doctor.
Doc: He’s a doctor
Winnie: Surgeon I think
Derek: My head, look at my head
He’s a surgeon and he just saved everyone from the car accident that
just came through.
Doctor…so we can secure your
airway, you're gonna be fine
Derek: No I’m not. You need to wait
It’s
okay we’ve got you. It’s ll gonna be okay
Derek: This isn’t right. You should have taken me to get a head CT
(voice weak)
For a last time, the woman doctor
still tried to insist on a head CT cause his pressure was holding, but still, as fate would have it, the contrarian doctor got his way and Derek did not get a
head CT.
We
need to open him up, find the source of the bleeding.
Derek: No, you have the time.
Derek: No, you have the time.
We
have to work fast, people
Derek: I’m stable. Guys I’m
stable. Take me to get a head CT.
We were hoping against hope that
they could hear Derek. Derek knew what to do. The brilliant surgeon that he was.
For any well-trained trauma
surgeon, it was basic knowledge that a patient should be taken to get a head CT after such an accident. But Derek’s
mute voice would remain mute. He could not even move to at least express via
gestures. In all his intelligence and skill, he could not tell these poorly
trained doctors what to do, to save his
life.
And in submission, he voiced out
what we feared to hear most
“I’m going to die because these people aren’t properly trained.”
For lack of better judgment, he was already
brought to the O.R.
Derek: I cant feel my arm. What is happening
Ready
to put him under
Derek: No, I have a head lac. Don’t, miss, don’t, miss
They did a colostomy
Derek: Well it’s better than being dead, I guess.
Then a grade 2 splenic lac
Deerek: Meredith would leave it
And they did
And they did
The use of the mute words was just
effective to add to the drama and to the frustration. He was alive. He was conscious. I was
silently cursing and praying somehow that the GSMH doctors get him from this blasted hospital and ably
treat him with the utmost care he deserves.
These imbecile doctors found out
that after cutting his chest, that there is no bleeding in his chest. After such a long time were they to realize that he had a head lac. And
realized late that they had to contact the neurosurgeon after so much time that
passed after opening Derek up.
Only after his right pupil was
blown did they realize they needed to page the blasted neurosurgeon who was at
dinner and who was not punctual at all. The surgical staff were all helpless on
what to do. They were clueless about neurosurgery, so we all helplessly watched
them wait.
Nothing could have been more
painful. All the doctors that we have watched week by week by week for
eleven years, all those skilled talented surgeons of GSMH, were nowhere to be
found. The brilliant surgeon Meredith Grey, The brilliant neurosurgeon Amelia
Shepherd, the brilliant trauma surgeon Owen Hunt were nowhere to be found.
Nobody was there to help Derek.
He had a chance, he had a freaking chance, but as
fate had it, it was not to be. He was not to survive in this poor excuse for a medical center.
And to add salt to the wound, the
unprofessional neurosurgeon at the unprofessional and ill –equipped Dillard
Medical Center said he would be there in twenty minutes but arrived much later. And they even had to play the blaming game.
And we all knew that the debate of
twenty minutes vs an hour and a half was useless because Derek in his mute
voice, said that it was too late and it wouldn’t have made any difference.
That dinner doctor had been on call
but he did not care enough to be there promptly because ironically, as Zozo and
Meredith said, “what happens when
surgeons are late? People die.”
The biggest irony was, he saved lives yet his life could not be saved.
The biggest irony was, he saved lives yet his life could not be saved.
The Strength of Meredith Grey
Meredith obviously did not have a
good feeling about Derek having missed his meeting at DC. And when the police
came by her front steps, her daydream voiced out her secret desire. That
hopefully Derek was all right and was just in a hospital getting well…her
desired scenario was a sweet tender scene, which showed us how Meredith loved
Derek…
Mer:
What did you do?
Derek:
I did what I always do, except that I almost killed myself doing it.
Mer:
Don’t make jokes. I was scared
Derek:
No, don’t be scared. I’m not going anywhere. Come here. I’m right here.
But it was just Meredith’s good daydream.
This time, this nightmare was real.
Officer:
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident. Can you come with us please?”
Meredith was too shocked and at a
loss with her reply, “I can’t just go,
what am I supposed to do with my kids?”
Seeing Mer with her two kids arrive
at the hospital broke my heart. I dreaded to see her see him in his state.
It hurt to know Derek’s state as
Mer told the doctor how the process went when it was time to pull the plug. It hurt to hear
that by the looks of his chart, there
was not much left of his organs that works to donate. He was brain dead.
It was the most painful
thing that anybody could ever experience. Meredith needed time to gather enough strength to sign the papers
to pull the plug on Derek. It was too heartbreaking to see her trying to find
the good in this tragedy, as she gave a pep talk to that doctor who failed to
save her husband’s life. She wanted
Derek’s death to not be in vain. She mustered enough courage, struggling
against pain and anger and who knows
what else emotion. She said that this had to be a reminder to this doctor:
“Yeah you’re right, you did fail you weren’t not good enough, but do you know what
tomorrow is? It’s Friday, there’s gonna be more patients who come in who need
you to save them, someone’s mother, someone’s kid, someone’s husband. They need
you to save them because they can’t save themselves. So learn from this, better
yourself, and you will be better for next time.
Because he was your one. Every patient you treat, you’re going to see
my husband’s face and remember that he was the one who died on your watch. He
will haunt you. The hard ones always do, and it only takes that one. But that
one will make you work harder and they make you better. Or they make you quit.
And you don’t get to waste what would have been the rest of my husband’s life
by being a quitter. So get back inside because you’re not saving any lives out
here”
After that speech, it
weakened me to see Mer throw up. The time had come to sign the most dreaded
papers nobody would want to sign ever in
their life.
MerDer: Truest Love
Finally at Derek’s bed, was
the most heart wrenching and devastating scene on Greys since I can remember.
Nurse: We can begin now. You can sit next to him.
When Mer sat down, Sleeping
at Last’s haunting version of Chasing cars started to play and this triggered the start of a million tears that
just flowed nonstop..
Heart-wrenching to see
Mer, as the nurse started to turn off
the machines one by one. The machines that were the only reason that Derek
Shepherd was breathing. But when she was about to remove the tube, the lone
connection of Derek to the respirator that made him breathe, Mer could not let
go.
Mer: Wait.
Nurse: Ma’am
Mer: Just wait!
As if wanting to see
her husband breathe for a last time, Meredith may have hoped for that tiny bit of a chance that Derek
might respond
“Derek ,“
She wanted Derek to hear
her. She wanted to give that one last message. They never really got a chance
to say goodbye.
As tears welled up in her
yes, then that single tear fell from her right eye, it was time for my ugly
cry. I was raving at Ellen Pompeo’s amazing acting through my tears..
“Derek”
And then right on cue, were
flashbacks of their legendary love story
–they were part of Mer’s memory.
Like summing up the Merder
love story in a collage of flashback scenes… making us conclude that
their promise of forever had already been fulfilled. All their words were indeed of true
love…
“So what’s your story?”
“I don’t have a story I’m just a
girl in a bar”
“I love you Meredith Grey and I
want to spend the rest of my life with you”
“You’re the love of my life. I
can’t leave you”
“You were like coming up for fresh air. It’s like
I was drowning and you saved me.”
“I’m in love with you”
“I’m in love with you forever”
And as if to make us cry
uncontrollably we see the scene, the first time that Meredith said goodbye to Derek. And
it was the first time they knew each other’s names.
“Bye Derek”
And now, she was saying goodbye to
him for the last time.
Meredith was the lone symbol of strength. Everyone watching was reduced to jello hearts and knees and lost resolve.
Meredith was the lone symbol of strength. Everyone watching was reduced to jello hearts and knees and lost resolve.
Seeing Meredith’s strength
was the last remaining beacon of hope that I could survive the episode . She
was holding us up. She knew her husband didn’t want to go and leave her and
their children. He was ready to be there when he would buy a car for Zozo ten years after. He actually
wanted more. He wanted another baby. He had a renewed realization of how much
his family meant to him. After being away for a long time, he discovered where his true happiness lay and that was
with his true love Meredith and the family
that they built.
They were looking forward
to a renewed life together after new realizations that the distance brought
them.
And he was going to be
back. He was supposed to be gone for just a very short time and then he was to
be back for good. But why was he now on this bed? In this sub standard
hospital. Brain dead. Lifeless. Except for the
machine that still made his heart beat.
Who would not break down when Mer caressed Derek’s cheek with the back of her hand as she
said, as she knew she had to be strong enough to let go…
“Derek, it’s okay.. you go… we’ll
be fine”
Then the dreaded question
by the nurse…
Nurse: Are you ready?
Mer: No… but go ahead
And she put her hand on his
heart as the nurse turned off the machines. He was still breathing although
artificially. And finally, when the tube from his mouth was to be taken out,
Meredith never took off her hand from his heart.
Until he breathed his last,
Meredith held on to his heart. As if she wanted to feel his last heartbeat, the
last sign of life from him…
Here we witness the Merder love story reach its completion. They were truly meant for each other till the end. Now we can truly say that it was destined for forever and till death did them part.
Here we witness the Merder love story reach its completion. They were truly meant for each other till the end. Now we can truly say that it was destined for forever and till death did them part.
No, this love story did not need any fancy wedding ceremony to
seal their love promises. Meredith Grey didn’t have to be in a white dress,
Derek Shepherd did not have to be in a tux and in a grand party to proclaim to
all people that they will seal their bond of togetherness.
Their promises to love and
cherish each other forever that were written on a post-it was enough.
That is what is called truest love.
A love that started out as
just for fun, but then fate took a hand,
and decided that they were meant to be.
It was not all roses for
the central couple on Greys Anatomy ,but
they weathered all their storms and in the end realized that that they were for
each other as said in Derek’s last words to Mer during last 11x20 when she
awoke as he stared at her sleeping:
“…..I said you’re like coming
out for fresh air. It’s like I
was drowning and you saved me…. I still feel that way. When I see you, what we
have, our family, that’s the feeling
with you, It’s always been you. And I
want more of this, of us, I want to have more…let’s have more…”.
Derek and Mer may have had flaws, but in the end, Derek was the best man for Meredith and Meredith was
the best woman for him. They were extraordinary together and ordinary apart.
They were each other’s true
love. And only death could tear them apart.
And this love story will go down in
history as one of the most beloved loving couples on TV. Theirs was a love that had gone through so
much but it was a love that worked.
Here is the legendary story
of MerDer… a story we can now conclude… as a story where true love won.
And I could not think of a
better way to end it.
As we embark on a new chapter in Grey’s Anatomy with Derek's passing, I still hope that those who still believe in true love will be inspired by this love story, one of the best I have ever known and which we have witnessed on our favorite TV show.
I quote this Merder dialogue in 5x19, consoled by Derek’s words, because Derek believes in Mer’s strength and we should too…
Derek: If there's a crisis you don't freeze. You move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you've seen worse. You've survived worse. And you know, we'll survive too. You say you're dark and twisty. It's not a flaw. It's a strength. It makes you, who you are. I'm not going to get down on one knee. I'm not going to ask a question. I love you Meredith Grey. And I want to spend the rest of my life, with you.
Meredith: And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Hero
Derek Christopher Shepherd was a doctor, a husband, a father, a friend. A ‘tremendously gifted’ neurosurgeon. And he damn well saved lives. Saving lives was his destiny.
He may not have been perfect. But he was perfectly imperfect.
A doctor’s calling constitutes an oath. And that is to save lives. Derek did his time. He saved lives all his life as a neurosurgeon and even until the last few hours of his life, and even in death. He had fulfilled his oath. And he damn well did it. And he did it beautifully.
That truck from nowhere wouldn’t have hit him if he didn’t stop to help the hapless victims of the deadly car crash he witnessed. He could have chosen to speed by to catch his plane. Nobody was looking , anyway.
But no. He chose to help. He died because he saved people’s lives. And he died because he CHOSE to save lives. He was a hero.
And that is the most noble way to go.
We may have lost him, his wife and children may have lost him physically, the medical field may have lost one of the most brilliant surgeons it has ever had, but the love and affection he had shared, to the love of his life, to his future little Dr Shepherds, the talent that he had so generously shared , and the dignity with which he had shared all that, will remain in our hearts forever.
Postscript
Greys Anatomy has long been my favorite TV show. And it has touched my heart and soul more than any other show.For me, no other show has come close, by far.
And since it is my favorite TV show, it means I have the utmost respect and love for its creator.
Saying goodbye to one of the show’s central characters is painful in the most unexplainable way. And it had to take the creator to write this epic episode, because Derek Shepherd deserved a most noble way to go. And MerDer deserved a glorious conclusion to their love story.
He had to go out with a bang. The love story may have ended, and thankfully in a beautiful way, but the love did not end.
The extremely passionate reaction to Derek’s death and how it unfolded is extraordinary. And that is totally attributable to the creator’s genius.
Such fan engagement and investment is rare and however highly emotional the reactions may be, it only means one thing. That the creator and the production behind the show has done a more than excellent job in coming up with such an epic episode.
For a show on its 11th season, to have such invested fan reaction with this kind of magnitude is phenomenal. And honestly I do not question how the story turned out.
For how do you end a perfectly great love story? You don’t. When death ends it, the love is elevated into a level of immortality.
The Merder love story ended physically. But the love did not. This is just the way that we can truly say that they were truly made for each other. And that only death could separate them.
Grey’s Anatomy has touched my life. It does not give me empty, fake realities to hope for. It can be very cruel at times, but at best, it mirrors humanity and reality as it possibly can.
It does not give us false, fairy tale hopes that people live forever and that hotshot neurosurgeons are not prone to accidents. Because in reality, everything ends. Anyone is vulnerable.
This voice over from 5x01 agrees with me:
“Fairy tales…the stuff of dreams…the problem is, fairy tales don’t come true. It’s the other stories that begin in dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable, It’s the nightmares that always seem to become reality.
The person that invented the phrase’ happily ever after’ should have his ass kicked so hard.”
However, even as the show does not shield us from harshness, it also shows us that true love IS possible and that the only way truest love can end is by death. And that is the best kind of love to have.
What matters is that it inspires us to never lose faith and hope for this kind of true love and that life be lived in the best badass, hardcore, superstar way as possible.
We don’t even have to be doctors to save lives, but the noble essence of saving a life, even on a roadside, by Derek’s heroic example in this episode, will never be forgotten.
Grey’s Anatomy has inspired me and continues to inspire me. I believe it always will.
Because Grey’s Anatomy is life.
_____________________
We interrupt regular Calzona programming to pay tribute to an episode that broke the hearts of millions of Grey’s Anatomy fans' hearts.
I want to pay respects to a most revered and loved character on Greys Anatomy, Dr Derek Christopher Shepherd. And to my first OTP MerDer.I got hooked on Grey’s because of MerDer and Mertina. MerDer was my first OTP. If i did not get to love MerDer, i wouldn’t have been hooked on Greys. If I didn’t get hooked on Greys, i would not have known Calzona. This is how special MerDer is to me.
In Callie's simple, accurate words to Mer : "Look, you and Derek are living proof that love exists. You guys are a freakin romance novel and I for one, am rooting for you two. Team MerDer!” Like Callie, I’ve rooted for them too.Team MerDer for always.
Twitter:
@GAFan8
Special credits to @Calzona502 for guiding me through details of old Grey's :)
