Just Not Enough

Calzona Review 11x08 “Risk” 

“Nobody’s memory is perfect or complete. We jumble things up. We lose track of time. We’re in one place, then another. And it all feels like one long inescapable moment.  It’s just like my mother used to say…the carousel never stops turning.”

This episode killed me.

It was an excellent winter finale. I  couldnt contain my anticipation for January 29^th.   All I could say at the end of the episode was: Greys Anatomy is the most awesome show ever.

Shonda’s magic was plastered all over the episode. It  had right me from the opening voice over.

It mesmerized me and made an emotional wreck out of me, until the closing credits.

But what honestly and obviously floored me and countless other Calzona diehards, was that ONE CALZONA SCENE.  

There were more than enough individual Callie and Arizona scenes in this episode, but even if there was only one scene of them together, it moved me in ways I did not expect.

That one scene that happened unexpectedly  halfway through the episode.

A scene so emotionally  powerful , it literally made me break down in tears , that I could not watch the show and had to pause to do my biggest ugly cry this  Season 11.

Never had that reaction  since 10x09.

Yes, that touching Calzona scene just made this episode unforgettable  for me. Images of Callie, head bowed with all her hair visible on screen plus 1/6 of her face, and that pained concerned, look on Arizona's face, these images will be etched in my memory for a long time. All hiatus-long.

So what led to that scene, let’s take a look

Virtual Reality Leg Game

Callie and Owen were attending to two veteran patients, who were having a virtual tussle on who gets the artificial robotic leg first.

Even as Owen assured them that they will both get the leg, they were making a contest out of it and Callie was game for this virtual mini-war game for the leg, egging them on.

Owen was not pleased though…

Owen : Pitting these patients against each other?  I just spent the morning refereeing the surgeons. I don’t need this. This is not a good idea.

Callie: They came up with this. The one to master the virtual reality  leg first gets to try the real leg first. Just a little friendly competition.

Owen: Just saying, don’t push them.

Callie: Hey, we are this close, Owen. We’re  gonna have someone walking. Today!

And that Calliope smile was just radiatingly beautiful. She was so excited about them having a new leg.

Callie: See that’s the thing about soldiers. Hunt. I don’t have to push them. They’re come wired that way. Okay Carter, ready to walk?

Ice Cream Flavors

In the next scene, Arizona, Herman and Graham   were doing the walk and talk, discussing  their upcoming  surgery  plan and Herman’s early morning enjoyment of her banana clambake dessert, before 8 AM.

Herman was to do the initial approach and Robbins was to do the cutting.

Arizona: You’re very perky today

Herman: Why not? Life is short. At this point, I can eat whatever the hell I want for breakfast. Right Robbins?

Arizona: Right, you’ve earned this

Graham: I just wish I could do that and stay as trim as you do

Herman: Shut up, Graham

While getting ready to scrub in,

Herman : God that was worth it. I’m trying to get through every flavor they have before I cash in

Arizona: Don’t say that.

Herman: Why, don’t be so serious

Arizona: Cause we’re about to operate on a pregnant woman and I  have  no idea if you’re in any condition

Herman:I told you

Arizona: You told me nothing. You told me you have a brain tumor but I don’t know anything about you. I don’t know if you’re married,

Herman: That is not the deal. You get access to my knowledge. Doesn’t  give you access to my life.

Arizona: I’m talking about next of kin. Like if something should happen to you. Who do I call?

Herman: God, you are so annoying! Divorced, no kids. Married to work, Robbins. Always there for you.

Arizona: So uhm, so no family.

Herman: I have work, and you, and Graham. That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever said

Arizona: What kind of tumor is it?

Herman: Enough!

Arizona: I need to know if this could affect your motor skills or your cognition.

Herman: You don’t need to know anything.

Arizona: I need to know,  if I’m helping you treat patients with a time bomb in your head.

Herman: Robbins, I have a team of neurosurgeons who are far more experienced than you are. So your input at this point, is nothing more than an invasion of my privacy. Stop. Drop it.

Arizona: So it’s inoperable.  Who says…

Herman: That’s it. You’re done. You can’t focus. You’re off the surgery. Graham can do it. Go do consults.

Arizona: Fine.

There was an insatiable need in Arizona to know everything about the disease, mainly for concern about her patients. She was scared because she had taken  this matter of Herman’s disease into her own hands. Didn’t report it to hospital authorities for her personal agenda, to learn and preserve the last thing she felt was left with her.

When Arizona discovered that Herman was basically alone and married to work,  her desire for more information about Herman’s disease increased.

Maybe there was a little compassion there,  that this woman was suffering alone.  She was bent on finding out about  Herman’s disease and in the episode,  we saw how relentless she was.

The Accident

Next scene, Callie was ready to assist Carter in trying out the new leg, as Owen and the other patient looked on. Midway through the trial walk, though,  he requested to do it on his own without Callie’s help.

He successfully managed  a few steps and was applauded by Owen and his comrade, but his buddy egged him on to walk further.  Challenged by this he took further steps to which Callie objected

Callie: No, no, seriously, don’t

Callie allowed him to but unfortunately , one wrong step on a stair by Carter caused him a bad fall, with the back of his head hitting the floor. Blood oozing from his head sent Callie and Owen into panic.

It was a freak accident and it was easy to pin the blame on Callie.

So when they were prepping Carter for surgery in the emergency room, Callie offered

Callie: I’ll meet you  in the O.R?

Owen: No, stay with Rick. You’ve done enough

It seemed Owen was essentially blaming Callie. Well she was responsible in a way because even as both of them  were cooperatively in charge of the project,  she was the one in closest distance to Carter when the accident  happened, so she was the one who could have prevented his fall.

I’ve seen some objections on my TL on why Owen was being tactless and seemed to be putting all the blame on Callie when he was there himself. They could have shared responsibility. Owen had felt extra empathy for soldiers being a soldier himself, and he knew that it was not wise to tolerate their competitive ways. Callie  owned her fault and was distraught about the accident

In the end though, Owen and Callie worked it out.

The patient’s best friend was also guilty.

Rick: Is it my fault? Did I push him too hard?

Destroying Everything She Touches

Then we see the fun  lunch scene with Mer, her person Alex and her sister Maggie, And Callie sits in the lone vacant seat in the lunch table, obviously upset.

Alex: What’s wrong with you?

Callie: Nothing

And the threesome  stared at Callie, needing answers

Callie: I have a patient who got hurt and Hunt thinks It’s my fault. I’m divorced again and Arizona thinks it’s my fault.  And basically I destroy whatever I touch.

Maggie: So by nothing, you meant everything

And this remark made everybody double up in laughter, including Callie.

Lunch scenes had  always  been traditionally happy and light scenes . And in an intense episode like this, count on Grey’s Anatomy to balance off the heavily charged emotion of the winter finale with comic relief brought by this lunch scene, consisting of Alex, Callie, Maggie and Mer-- the same bunch  of “happy people” who were drinking merrily in Alex’s living room in 11x07.

Doing Bad Stuff

Arizona was prodding Alex to use her phone to do something “bad”

Alex: Just do it

Arizona: I don’t think I can, it’s bad. And I’m not good at  doing bad stuff. Will you do it?

Alex: What am I doing?

Arizona: I can’t tell you. It’s soooo bad.

Alex: Then what am I doing here. You know what? I don’t wanna know. Whatever it is, you could do it. (handing the phone back to Arizona)

Arizona: Okay , okay.

The Alexzona friendship in this scene was so amusing to watch, Arizona, being the good man in a storm that she is, feeling  nervously hesitant to do something unethical in her underground probe on Herman’s disease. It was hilarious to witness her wanting  Alex to do it, implying that she doesn’t like doing bad things but Alex can.  Highly humorous  touch to a scene that actually tackled a serious subject.

Arizona: Hi I’m Dr Robbins, I’m Amelia Shepherd’s fellow at Grey Sloan. I’m calling about a patient of Dr Weaver’s,  Nicole Herman? …Well Dr. Herman is requesting that her neuro records be sent to Dr. Shepherd? Yeah history, scans, CT’s,…could you send it all?  Yeah…care of Robbins.. Thank you..thank you so much..

Nervous and guilty,  it was obvious through her expressions that Arizona was not used to lying and doing bad things, except for the infidelity which critics love to point out.

Arizona  wanted to quickly intercept the  scans sent to Amelia’s office, but Amelia cut her off

Amelia: Looking for this?

Arizona: Yeah. Thanks!

Amelia: Is this our Nicole Herman? 

Arizona: Dr Herman

Amelia: What’s going on?

And they both examined Herman’s scans and it was amusing how Amelia seemed to be fascinated by the characteristics of the tumor.

Arizona:  It’s bad, right?

Amelia: It’s spectacular. The big bad mother of an astrocytoma. See how it ignores the anatomical borders? It’s like a perfect butterfly. ….that is a thing of beauty.. Is she showing symptoms?

Arizona: No, wait what kind of symptoms would they be?

Amelia: God, well basically almost anything like dizziness, headaches, vision loss, inappropriate sexual behavior, impulse control stuff, fatigue…

Arizona: Fatigue? She texted me earlier to say that she had to lie down for a while

Amelia: Arizona, who else knows about this? People know about this, right?

Arizona: Yeah, everybody who needs to know knows. But she’d prefer discretion, you know. If you could just keep it to yourself.

Amelia: Of course. In a locked box.

Arizona: Thanks. See ya.

What Risk Means to Them

 Next scene, Callie joins Owen in comatose patient Carter’s room,  and it was impossible to tell how deep the damage was

Owen: I told you

Callie: Hey I didn’t push him.  I know that you think I did,  but they pushed each other

Owen: You should’ve stopped them

Callie: Owen, you know these guys.

Owen: You don’t know the first thing about them. You don’t know what risk means to them. Jordan is a 23 yr old kid who’s asked to diffuse bombs left in  supermarket filled with families. That’s risk, to them. These guys have to decide in an instant whether the person they’re about to shoot is an insurgent with a pistol or a school kid with a cellphone. That’s risk. So no. They don’t know the danger of stepping up on a stair. You should’ve stopped them.

On Call Room Action 

My eyes nor Arizona’s eyes were just not ready to see what we were about to see as Arizona opened the door to the on-call room in her search  for her mentor.

Yes. Someone’s pants were down, oh no, it was Herman and Graham, yes, GRAHAM, locked in an embrace. Loving it up.

Herman: Robbins, occupied.

And Arizona, her voice barely audible : Oh sorry…:

Whoa, and Grey’s put one over  us with that one. No one ever saw that coming.

And Arizona was even more shocked than we were, incredulous at the sight, and did a double shudder as she closed the door.  She did not  expect  nor  want to see that. It seemed like she was about to throw up or something.   

Oh and did I mention how hilarious that was? Big smile emoji.

Graham Scoring Points

Then Arizona confronts Graham

Arizona: How long has that been happening?

Graham: None of your business

Arizona: How long ? Was it sudden? Was it just today?

Graham: It’s happened more than once. You’re jealous.

Arizona: It stops now. No more. You’re taking advantage of her

Graham: I beg your pardon. She’s the one in the power position here. She suggested it. I’m just scoring points.

Arizona: Oh, God, shut up!

Graham: You could try. She’s pretty open to ideas.

Arizona: Go away. Go away, Graham.

Graham was cute.  And Arizona was disgusted at Graham’s suggestion. She was single ….but no way. Wink emoji . Arizona was in no mood for “love”. Much less, taking advantage of anyone. She  was determined to help her mentor

Arizona and Callie and their Worries

Then Stephanie walks up to Arizona and shows her an ultrasound.

Stephanie: Is that what I think it is? I mean it’s not, right?

Arizona: Yeah, it could be. type 2 or 3 maybe?

Stephanie: Oh God

Arizona: What’s the matter?

Stephanie: I shouldn’t say. Or maybe I should, I don’t know, tell me what to do. This is April Kepner’s baby. I haven’t told her I haven’t told Jackson. I didn’t know what to do I just wanted to make sure.

Arizona: Don’t mention it to either of them. I’ll uh, I’ll ask Herman.

Stephanie: Because maybe we’re wrong

Arizona: I hope so

Something hit me in this scene. It gave me a human perspective of doctors.  Been always used to the character’s personal issues on Grey’s but when their colleagues are hit by a disease or in this case, their colleague’s baby has a defect, they are affected. They are human and they do have compassion for their friends.

Arizona, being April’s friend was visibly worried.

Callie was talking with Rick, who  needed his best friend who saved his life to wake up from his coma. He was emotional, and Callie was moved.

Rick: What are we to you, trash? You broke him and you just throw him away? Move on to the next one? Screw that.  He’s gonna wake up.

Callie: Rick.  Rick

But Rick wheeled away from her.

By this time, the pressure  inside of Callie was building up.. The patient’s freak accident, Owen blaming her and now Rick’s accusation.  It was all getting too much.

That Calzona Scene

Then the scene of the Episode happens. The scene that made me pause watching because it was too much for my heart.

Arizona chances upon a severely distraught Callie, whose head was bowed in obvious sadness and she did not hesitate to approach her wife. I did not see one hint of doubt. She was concerned for her wife. Okay ex. Whatever because this “ex” thing  won’t be for long.

And the song that accompanied the scene, “Home” by Aron Wright was just the perfect  one to push me to cry buckets.  That song was hauntingly beautiful. It made the scene all the more unbearable.

Seeing my two estranged beloveds cross paths in their most distraught moments. Both had too much on their plate. And I had too much on mine too.

Arizona: Are you okay?

Callie: Uh, I will be. I will be.

Arizona was concerned. That was crystal clear. But it seemed from Callie’s expression that she did not intend to  talk about her problem with Arizona. She was set to handle her problem on her own.

And Arizona sensed this. But still asked Callie,

Arizona: Could we just pretend that everything between you and I is okay? Just for a little bit? I could use that.

Callie: Yeah (Callie nodded)

These lines right here touched me to the core. In times of deepest  trouble, you need your anchor. And even if you are estranged, the need for the other is present. The need for someone she knows will understand. The one person who had been her confidante.  She needed her,  and she needed her.

Arizona: I feel like everything is going wrong and I have no idea what to do about it.

Callie: I feel like every single thing  am doing is wrong. You will figure it out. You will.

Arizona: You will too.

Callie: Thanks.

Callie did not ask for her to elaborate. She was not to listen,  she was comforting although in a very civil way. She tapped her knee. That kind of civil.

And she relayed  her situation in a very brief way too.

So Arizona knew they were not going to tell their problems to each other, even as she seemed ready to pour her heart out to Callie. Callie was somehow comforting yet slightly dismissive. So Arizona stood up, and then paused to ask something that seemed she had to let out.

Arizona: Do you miss me? At all?  (Read: Arizona wanted to know if Callie still loved her. Is there any feeling for her. )

Callie: Of course  (there was sincerity but with a but…)

Arizona: Just…Not enough 

And my heart just broke as Callie looked up at her 

Stop Stealing Her Orgasms

Arizona and Stephanie approached Herman for the ultrasound of April’s baby but it turns out Heman got wind of Arizona’s chit chat with Graham and spoke to Arizona privately,

Herman: You spoke to Graham? You spoke to Graham?

Arizona: I was worried

Herman: Robbins, I don’t know how many orgasms I have left in life but it may be fewer than flavors of ice cream.  So I can’t spare any. Stop stealing my orgasms.

Arizona: I didn’t try

Herman: Stop invading my privacy

Arizona: I was worried about you.

Herman: But It’s not your business to be worried.

Arizona: I am a doctor, it’s my nature, and you’re sick. And  I want to help. I want to keep you, and our patients out of danger , and I just found you having a quickie with Graham. Graham! So I’m having a hard time believing that’s not a symptom. And also, it’s against, it’s against hospital rules.

Herman: Robbins, when you have an expiration of five months, it’s amazing how many rules you don’t give a damn about. Graham is a nominal surgeon, and he’s a complete tool. But he’s young, he’s attractive, and he’s very physically fit. What you saw was not a symptom of a tumor. It was a symptom of dying soon. So I’m gonna screw as many Grahams as I can.

Arizona: And I totally support that

Herman: C-section, let’s go.

This was a powerful speech by Herman which I suspect or  am sure Shonda wrote. It was touching, and true, and honest, and was all magnificently written. A sincere statement from a human whose time on earth was limited. And Arizona understood. She had been Detective Arizona Robbins in this episode and she realized that Herman was just living her remaining days on earth to the fullest.

“You Push Through It”

Amelia called for Owen and Callie to inform them that their patient was awake but  unresponsive. No new or recurrent hemorrhage but too soon to know how much function he had regained or if there will be deficits.

Owen: Does he have people, besides his friend?

Amelia: His parents are in Florida.

The Callie took Owen aside and talked to him outside the room

Callie: I don’t think I can do this. I think  need to take a step back

Owen: What do you mean?

Callie: The program. The vets. You were right, Owen. I don’t know these guys.  I’m tryin to help them,  I’m ruining their lives

Owen: It was an accident. I know I was angry, but you can’t just stop.

Callie: Rick says he won’t move forward until Jordan’s all right.

Owen: Callie that is

Callie: Jordan might not be all right. And I’m not just gonna throw Rick aside and move on to someone else, I can’t do that. 

Owen: So you’re just gonna stop.  Cause things got hard cause you’re hurt. That is not acceptable. You push through it. You’re not gonna give up on the program or on Rick, get him back here

Callie: Owen. For what?

Owen: Get him back here.

Callie: I don’t want to give him false hopes

Owen: Then give him real hope.

Callie: Okay. Okay I get it. Stop throwing the football at my face.

Owen: What?

Callie: Nothing. It worked.

Callie’s emotions were attached to her patients. She was affected by what Rick told her. She was emotional and Owen kept her focused and urged her on. Challenged her. Owen knew she could do better and gave her a pep talk she badly needed. 

 “Be There For Her”

Stephanie and Arizona consult with Herman on the ultrasound.

Stephanie:  I don’t trust myself and Robbins thinks we might be wrong

Herman: Robbins, a  fetal surgeon who can’t read an ultrasound is like a chef who can’t boil water

Arizona: Just tell me what I’m looking at

And Herman did confirm, it is Osteogenesis Imperfecta – a congenital birth defect where the child has  fragile bones, easily broken , a very rare disease

Herman: Prognosis?

Arizona: That’s what I’m asking you
Herman: Well it’s  very sad if it is indeed type 2 and the infant survives  birth, they don’t usually live more than a couple of days or weeks. Robbins, someone you know?

Arizona: A friend.

Herman: I’m very, very  sorry

Arizona: There’s  gotta be  something we could do. What can I do?

Herman: Be there for her

Successes at The End

And then Callie and Owen happily succeed in letting Rick use the leg.

And then Amelia and Arizona have a revelatory scene when Arizona sees Herman’s scans being studied openly by Amelia

Arizona: What are you doing

Amelia : You told me to be discreet so I set up in here. Nobody comes down here.

Arizona: No, no, take them down.

Amelia: Why?

Arizona: Give it back just give it all back. If she finds me with these, she will kill me. Just forget that I ever told you

Amelia:I thought everybody who needed to know knew

Arizona: Yeah and that’s her and that’s me and she doesn’t know that I know all of  this. She cannot find out that I stole these. I thought that she was dangerous and reckless. And it turns out that she’ s just, she’s just dying. And she’s alone, and she’s smart and she’s funny and horny and lonely and she deserves to die however she wants to and I know what to look for now and I can watch her and she deserves whatever dignity she can possibly…

Amelia: Arizona! Shut up and listen to me! I think I can remove this tumor. I think I can save her life.

And Arizona was stunned into silence.

The closing voice over goes…

“Nobody’s memory is perfect or complete. We jumble things up. We lose track of time. We’re in one place, then another. And it all feels like one long inescapable moment.  So what does it mean. What do we take away. Which pieces will haunt us. Hurt us. End us. Inspire us.  It’s just like my mother used to say, the carousel never stops turning. You can’t get off.”

Riding the carousel, and hoping that their best memories will guide our beloved Calliope and Arizona to find their way back to each other, after  the still many challenges they will individually encounter as this carousel of life turns.

They cannot get off, but they can treasure, and relish  and learn and be strengthened from the ride.

Until they realize  that in the end, there is no one else that they are meant for, but each other.

NOTES:

Arizona takes action

Arizona had two investigative ventures in this episode.

Arizona had her own dilemma. Her conscience had been  bothering her. She is not making the right moves.

Herman’s condition was making her guilty. So she took it upon herself to investigate on her own.

She learned about the details and symptoms and effects and seeing Herman in a compromising situation with Graham

She was torn and she was acting upon the dictates of her conscience.

She was being  a good man in a storm when she investigated  Herman’s case..

Hearing  Herman  reason out , made her realize that even with the symptoms, Herman was just acting like a dying person should, she was living life to the fullest.

Arizona had enough  heart  to go past science. This was a woman in the last months of her existence trying to take in all that life could give as it was a  limited resource. It was to end soon.

She had to let her be.

Until Amelia found a way to take out the tumor. And that new hope became part of  the winter finale cliffhanger.

She would be constrained to admit to Herman that she stole her scans and all other info on her disease. Also, it goes without saying that it might have to be revealed that Arizona knew about this disease without telling the hospital  authorities.

So the solution to the tumor was welcome but will still lead to a dilemma for Arizona.

Arizona’s support for her friend

Arizona’s support of April was touching. She was true to the Aprizona sisterhood. Arizona in her lonely state, was being  supportive to her best friend.  When Arizona consulted Herman about April’s ultrasound, her concern was evident and she was dead set on finding a way for April to get the best help possible for her baby.

What made me weak was when Herman pronounced how the baby will not survive for long. And frustrating as it was, Herman told her that her best help would be to be there for her friend.

This poses another challenge for Arizona, who is facing her own crises—her ethical issue about not reporting Herman’s disease, and of course her separation from Callie.

It is one thing to be handling own problems, and sometimes when people are burdened enough, it usually happens that people somehow have  reserve strength to help others and be there for others.

Sometimes, helping others solve their problems  help in  handling one’s own problems.

It helps make one forget her own troubles, and sometimes, this sets up a way for them to find a way to solve their own.

Callie’s predicament

Callie was being blamed by Owen. She was at a loss. After a long time of being on top of her mean Ortho game, Callie was in a vulnerable position. She wasn’t as badass. She felt confused, burdened and helpless.

Accidents happen.

Calllie’s only intention was to help the veteran to walk. The veteran falling and hitting his head on the floor that caused him to be comatose was not part of the plan.

It was a freaking freak accident  and nobody wanted it . Sadly, this unfortunate event   had to fall on her lap. And her responsibility.

Worse, Owen initially seemed to blame her for it.

And seeing Callie lashing out in last episode, she was burdened by the break up, and having this new problem was not helping her any.

She felt as if her troubles were adding up instead of being solved.

Calzona scene

It got to a head, Callie was breaking down, and in that vulnerable moment, in that unexpected lone Calzona scene, this beloved estranged couple were one.

They were one in struggle. In vulnerability. In helplessness and sadness.

It was what made them bond.

That most gripping and most emotional scene came out of nowhere.

At a time when you could see both Callie and Arizona stressed from separate difficulties, feeling so much sorrow  for each of the characters, feeling their pain…then suddenly, from out of nowhere, Arizona chances upon Callie , head bowed in complete sadness.

And my heart paused , my brain raced fast. What was Arizona going to do?

Then Arizona approached Callie with much intent but with  slight hesitation. Seeing the expression in Arizona’s  face,  feeling  sorry for Callie was just so comforting to me. Even if Callie did not see  Arizona’s expression, well , at least I DID.

The pain in Arizona’s face as she paused and said “not enough” was enough to bring me to a very unstable state. She was resigned to this heartbreaking reality that Callie was not in that place right now, of loving her enough to miss her nor to even discuss problems with her.

But Callie did look up at her ,with that sincere look, the love was there, but as Arizona verbalized, it was not enough.  I saw love there.  In that gentle , pained look. But then again, there was love. 

There was no comforting hug. Just that gentle pat on the  knee.  I was trying desperately to see that pat as romantic,   but no. That pat on the knee was as civil as it could get. No romance at all. It was more friendly and respectful if any.

More affection and emotion seemed to come from Arizona’s side, as she seemed to miss Callie but sadly it was not reciprocated equally. 

Suffice it to say, Callie and Arizona were just that  far apart from each other  emotionally, and it was painful to see.

I wanted them so much to hug, to touch to comfort each other. To be there for each other. I could not stop my tears from flowing.

They were there for each other, even if they had to “pretend”.  In times like these when they were both in dire straits and in need of support. Who knows if they did want to hug each other. All I saw in that scene was that even if they were exes, when push comes to shove, when their backs were against the wall, you don’t just forget who was always there for you.

No one could understand you better than your ex, with whom you shared so much memories with.

And as if by default, you will always want to run to the one whom you know loved or loves you most and understands you most and with whom you used to share all your burdens with.

As wife and wife, they had been through storms together and it was a strange feeling to see them experiencing troubles and pains by their lonesome.

And both were feeling that. The loss of a helping hand, of usual support for very deep problems like this, It was a glaring absence.

In times of dire need like this, that is when they strongly felt the need for help from their loved one. So it was heartwarming  to see them be there for each other, even if it was in a civil, subtle way.

No hugs. No embraces. No kisses.

It was a slight tap on the knee, and  a comforting presence between two people who understood each other better than anyone else in the world.

What I couldn’t help but notice was the way they looked at each other.

That look where all I could read was love. Notice their eyes: LOVE.

Notice their look: LOVE

That was ALL I SAW.

That bond wrought by true love will always be there no matter what  state their  relationship is in.

If only I were Shonda and I had the power to just make them be together for a sec. Just to feel each other’s embrace….

But no.  This is a journey. A long journey and we are still in episode 8.

They  (and we)  still have a lot to go through.

Whatever happens, there will always be that hope that all things will come together for them  to find their way back to each other.

With all positivity and hope,  I remain Calzona Strong.

So Happy Holidays and see you in 2015. The year Callie and Arizona will get back their forever. 

The year they get back their happily ever after.

Ciao!

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