Jumping the Gun

Calzona Review 12x20 "Trigger Happy"

It has all come down to this. After watching this excruciating episode, my flabbergasted hurting self needed oxygen.

So at the end of the episode, it seems a custody battle is a-coming.. Grrr.

Let us start with all dialogues between Callie and Arizona and with their  random "advisers" in this episode, so that all is clear:

When They Met At The Cafe

Callie and Arizona met in that pretty cafe, both looking breathlessly pretty. If only they were dating in that scene but nope. They were talking about something else...

Callie was in good spirits and was
happy to announce she found a place, an apartment close to really great schools

Arizona: You picked schools?
Callie: No, I brought these here so that we could decide, so that we  could talk. About the possibilities.

Arizona: You picked brochures? Sounds like you're decided uh, she's going to school in New York?

Callie: Well IF she does, she would have to fill out an application which actually i meant to talk to..

Arizona: I'm sorry can we just take a big step backwards somewhere sometime you heard me say,  "yes please Callie, take my daughter across the country" but i never said that

Callie: I did not. I said we could talk about it.

Arizona: No, Callie, what u said was "you'd be able to see Sofia whenever you want"

Callie: Okay, that's not what I meant.

Arizona: I would be ABLE to see her

Callie: I was just excited about making this work.  That's all

Arizona: Go. Be happy. Have your Penny. You're not taking my daughter with you

Callie: Would you please stop saying 'your daughter'?

Arizona: but she is my daughter, and she's yours and she lives here. I don't know why we're talking about schools over there, and bedrooms, why cant she come visit you?

Callie: Okay that's why we're here. That's what we're talking about. That we're just discussing what the options are.

Arizona: That's not what it.sounds like.

And it continues outside the cafe..

Arizona: Sofia's doing really well. She loves her dance class. Why would we take her out of school in the middle of the year?

Callie: No, we aren't gonna move her until after school.

Arizona: yeah no, we wouldn't move her anywhere. Aw we, you, it's you and Penny. 
You can't do this. You don't get to just decide 

Callie: I haven't decided anything. I'm  trying to talk to you. I'm trying to show you that I've thought out this choice

Arizona: this is not just YOUR choice. To completely disrupt my child's

Callie: Why...you moved three times a year when you were a kid, you turned out pretty good.Why isn't it just life?

Arizona: i have a consult. 

Callie: do you wanna look at these?

Arizona: No.

Callie, Arizona and their advisers

Arizona, who appeared to be close to broken, had been crabby when Richard asked if she could do without a resident for a few days and had finally blurted out, pained that Callie  is moving and trying to take Sofia with her and sought wise counsel:

Arizona: Richard, she offered me visitation rights to see my own daughter, my lawyers....

Richard: I'm sure she didn't mean it that way ...
Your lawyer??
Arizona: Yes i have to protect myself
Richard: I know that you feel u do. But you and Torres had always figured this stuff out beautifully. Just slow down. And just watch Jackson and April...a mess started with overreactions and misunderstandings

Arizona: Now I'm overreacting?

Richard: I'm saying Sofia's too important not to ask yourself if you are before you do anything that can't be undone

Arizona: Yeah of course i know..

Callie informs Penny

Penny: How did everything go with Arizona?
Callie: She's not even open to talking. She's just saying no. 
 Penny: I'm sorry. That sucks.
Callie: ...It seems like she really just wants to fight about this aam I wrong?
Penny :I can't help you. There may come a time when I get to have a say in Sofia's life but that's definitely not now.I'll just make things worse. So all I can say is I'm sorry. That sucks.


Callie informs Bailey

Callie : I'm moving to  New York. With Penny Blake. I'm leaving Grey Sloan.

Bailey: When?

 Callie said in a couple months, and Bailey asked about job offers, asked if she was asked to be chief of Ortho by NYU or Columbia,

Callie: not chief of ortho, fewer hours. Penny's working a lot and im hoping to have Sofia there.

Bailey wasn't eager. She was judging.

Callie: What?

Bailey: Your career. You're a chief. She's a resident. So youre giving up your career to chase tail across the country?

Callie: I just wanted to give you notice. And i don't need your judgment. Arizona's already got that covered.

Both Bailey and Webber served as guidance and wisdom. But did our girls listen? Hmmm. 



At the NICU

Callie visited Arizona for one more attempt to talk:

Callie: Ah she was so little. When Sofia was in here, you could see her heartbeat in her whole body. Oh how possibly tiny she looks. Can't believe our girl was ever that little.

I jumped the gun I am so sorry. I was carried away when i first told you. I've done everything wrong since. Sofia's our little girl and i am not trying to make plans without you. Please believe that.

Arizona: The school called me. They wanted to talk to  me about her application. So tell me that part again about how  you're not making plans.

Callie: You know how these things work. There are waiting lists it doesn't mean that i actually tried...

Arizona: We're not talking about this.

Callie: You don't get to decide that. I'm going. And i don't want to leave Sofia behind. So we have to work out something.

Arizona: i  just mean that you're not talking about it to me anymore.

Callie: you got a lawyer?

Arizona: Yeah you can talk to her.

Callie: you hired a lawyer.

Arizona: Yes

Callie: Now who's jumping the gun.

Arizona: You started this.

Callie: All right.

Callie thinking, staring. Almost motionless. Trying to digest everything. But she took the challenge.

In a nutshell, the situation is:

1. Callie informed Arizona she is going to New York with Penny and is taking Sofia with her and wants to work it out with Arizona, and says that Arizona can visit Sofia
2. Arizona resents not being consulted about Sofia leaving Seattle and doesnt want to be left by Sofia so she consults a lawyer
3. Callie and Arizona sit in a cafe and Callie says she wants to discuss possibilities but shows school brochures for Sofia 
4. Arizona resents that Callie has already been considering schools when she hasn't agreed to Sofia's leaving Seattle. Seems she has already decided. Her question is, "why cant she come visit you?" Arizona's point : it's not just Callie's sole decision. 
They didn't  agree during this talk.
5. They both randomly are advised by wiser figures. Richard with Arizona  and Bailey with Callie.
6. Richard warns Arizona of overreaction and Callie feels judged by Bailey who just gave her the awkward truth of the situation.
7. Penny chooses to take a hands-off stance. She is sorry she cannot help Callie on this. She knows her place so giving any advice or opinion may only make things worse. Kudos to Penny for being practical-minded about this. 
8. Callie tries a second time to talk with Arizona at the NICU. She apologized and clarified she isn't leaving out Arizona in making decisions.
9. Arizona called her out on sending a school application for Sofia which Callie defended. 
10. Arizona evades discussion and Callie says she has already made a decision to go to New York and she can't leave Sofia behind.
11. Arizona gives her her lawyer's card and asks her to just talk to her lawyer.
12. Callie is in disbelief and takes on Arizona's challenge.

In these scenes, i sensed a gray area when Callie spoke of discussing options with Arizona, when it seems she has limited the options available.

First, she made a rash decision to leave Seattle. Then with this, she assumed Arizona would be okay with her decision to  take Sofia with her without consulting Arizona.

Arizona made a rash decision too by using the lawyer card.

Callie appeared to be trying to talk and trying to work out an arrangement with Arizona. She approached Arizona twice, but the truth is, she had already made a decision about taking Sofia with her. 

Callie says she wants to discuss options but it seems the only options she leaves Arizona is to agree to Sofia leaving and work out Arizona's visiting schedules.

Leading us to assume that maybe Callie assumes she has more right over Sofia than Arizona has?

Arizona meanwhile, is asserting her right as a mother.

Discussion:

Any legal proceeding is tedious.

What hurts in this situation is that there is a child involved. It's the last thing anyone would want to watch any family go through.

It's bad enough that they had already severed ties, but to see them slip many levels lower, it is heartbreaking. The ending to this episode would just make anyone throw their hands up on the couple.

Setting the record straight, this blog had always been Team Calzona. Either of them may have been wrong on different occasions but I've loved them equally ever since, warts and indiscretions and all, because they're the couple that I've always rooted for.

Given all that happened, i might have to say, i need to do the blaming game a little.

For this ep, i am not rooting for just Calzona. I'm hoping all goes well for them, but I am rooting for the person most affected in all this, and that is Sofia.

This time, it's not my love for Calzona that i want to tackle. It is tempting to believe in love and romance but right now, sorry but i am a disappointed at both Callie and Arizona.

Why? I feel that selfishness and fear of loneliness had reared its ugly head in these two, leading both of them to make impulsive decisions. Nope, not just one of them was disappointing. Both of them are.

In the case of Callie, yeah i get it. She has found great love. Something she has long been searching for. After getting emptied and exhausted  by her marriage, Penny is a refreshing presence in her life. Here was someone who  loves her and whom she loves too.

But Penny is moving across the country for a rare career opportunity. So our drop-everything-for-love girl will indeed drop everything and move to New York to be with her love.

She's too scared of long distance love because their relationship might just fall apart. Or maybe she is too scared to be lonely without Penny by her side.

So reflex decision is to give up her Ortho Chief position (which Bailey wisely called out, thank you Bailey one thousand times), be with her resident gf and live in New York with Sofia in tow, and have Sofia study in New York.

Sounds cute and easy and oh so romantic. Giving up everything for love and all that happily ever after stuff.

Callie, the loving doting mom can't live without her kid. So with her impulse decision to drop everything for love, she decides to bring Sofia with her, begins to look for schools for Sofia and sends out applications.

But wait.

Naturally, we cant discount the reaction of Sofia's other mommy.

Arizona, newly divorced, and who will be left behind in Seattle.

Arizona, whose search for love has been in the works but has had difficulty in  finding her own wife material partner.

She has been living without a partner but comforted by the presence of her dear daughter Sofia in her life.

I felt a sense of fear of loneliness in Arizona when she saw Callie with Penny, saunter off with Sofia in 12x19.  It felt like the family she once had, namely Callie and Sofia, were now to be taken away from her by another woman. Penny and Callie would build their own family including Sofia, and she would be be left all alone. 

It was sad enough that Callie had gone and now has a new love. But it is too painful to think that even Sofia will leave her all alone. So as Callie made impulsive mention of moving to New York with Sofia, Arizona's reflex reaction was to jump the gun and consult a lawyer.

We were not ever privy to how Callie And Arizona arranged how they share time with Sofia after the divorce but it seems as though, as my other suspected Calzona shipper Richard Webber said, "you and Callie always figure things out beautifully."

Seems they had mutually agreed on their  time for Sofia and we hadn't really seen them have problems about it since they got divorced.

The Calzona story has not really ever been legally specific. Much has been left to the viewer's assumptions. Their marriage legality was never discussed when it happened (as we know that it only became legal in Washington State long after they had their White Wedding) nor even long after it happened.

Also, Callie gave birth to Sofia and we saw how Arizona was instrumental as the Peds surgeon, to assist in having a safe birth survival for the then premature Sofia.

Soon after, Arizona intoned in one episode how she is Sofia's mama. Sofia called her mama..

She was concerned about her legality as Sofia's mother too, and we all assumed all the legalities were accomplished off screen.

So at present, there is no use discussing about who has more decision-making privilege: the birth mom or the other mom. Excuse me. That is not even the point of discussion in any way.

It is obviously assumed that Sofia is legally adopted by Arizona and it is safe to say, both Callie and Arizona are equally rightful mothers to the child.

Whew. No arguments necessary there.

So based on this premise, they are on equal footing. Both parents. Equal rights as parents.

It is a bit uncomfortable for my taste right now that a legal tussle is brewing between them.

We have always shipped them, we were delighted no end with their super magic smile beginnings, their romantic dialogues, the struggles that they weathered together, comforting and supporting each other through the pray away the gay days, good man in a storm days, the car crash, we stood by them through their petty and serious fights but what now? This is serious. We aren't new to court battles but we never asked for a court battle between the two of THEM!

A custody battle is one of the most difficult court battles that anyone can get into.

It is said to be the.worst kind of court battle. Being in court for it is highly emotional and  stressful.

Losing means losing custody of their child, for goodness sakes! So i ask myself why is Calzona even embroiled in this kind of mess?

Webber was on point with his always dependable wise counsel:

"Just slow down. And just watch Jackson and April...a mess started with overreactions and misunderstandings... I'm saying Sofia's too important not to ask yourself if you are before you do something that can't be undone"

As i see all this, it did start with overreactions. They both gave in to fear. Fear of loneliness. Fear of losing people they love. Driven by this fear, they lacked consideration for each other's feelings as they both had negative reflex actions. Badass as they both were, concerns about their loved ones made them both fearful.

I think they will regret these impulse decisions later on but right now, both have already used pride as an armor. To protect themselves from further hurt.

Callie was too quick to decide to bring Sofia to New York, assuming Arizona will be okay with it. Would it have hurt if she consulted with her ex wife? If she didn't let herself get carried away by fear of losing a love, she would've been more clear on dealing with this with all factors considered, including the feelings of the ex.

In their two discussions at the cafe and at the NICU, Callie's words seemed like she was considering Arizona's feelings. She said she was sorry and she did want Arizona in on the plans. But her words would default later on in deciding that New York is a go and she can't leave Sofia behind.

Arizona, in the meantime,  upon hearing Callie's plans, pressed the panic button too early too. Probably because she was exposed to April's legal issues, and having a mini prophetic vision of how the future  was going to be when she saw Penny, Callie and Sof together,  she jumped the gun too soon.

She could have talked to Callie amicably. I think that as Webber expressed faith in them that they usually figure things out beautifully together, they could have talked about this in a better way. Even Webber was surprised that Arizona even considered going legal. He was disappointed.

When Callie approached Arizona at the NICU, she seemed to be open to  good dialogue and mutual decision making. She even apologized that she got carried away, she was not at all ready for Arizona saying that she won't talk about this with her, she can talk to her lawyer.

Callie was taken aback. It was uncalled for. It was almost unreal. But there was the lawyer's card which Arizona gave her. She was putting a third party in between their communication.

It was like placing a wall in between them because for her, the two of them could not settle this amicably with each other. They  had to place someone in between. It is disheartening. It is like rendering useless everything they've been through.

All communication has broken down. It was an exaggerated act for me. They could've gotten friends to mediate. Bailey or Webber.

But a lawyer??? They will go to court over this? Ugh!

And Callie, who wasn't prepared for this but didn't want to back down from this legal dare, took on Arizona's challenge.

All i could see in that scene was the word P-R-I-D-E hidden in the shadows at the NICU.

And with that PRIDE, flew our hopes for things between them getting better.

By this scene, no one is more hurt than us Calzona fans. It feels like our ship has ceased to even float and all hope has gone down drain.

As far as the chances of who will win in case a custody battle does push through, it is imperative that each party convince the court that they are able to raise the child and the child would be better taken care of by them.

Since both are equal in financial stability and both are respected doctors, being chief of their departments, the only thing that could set them apart is maybe that there was immorality committed by Arizona back then during the stormy days. See, this is what is heartbreaking about all this. Digging and tossing of dirt will be the main menu. And i don't think we are ready for that. We want them to love and care for each other and not see them fight. Especially not in court!

However it all turns out, my hands are clasped in prayer. I hope i will have the strength to witness them fight. Because this is the last thing i want to happen. See them fight in an ugly atmosphere where lawyers will make each of them look unpleasant.

More than anything, in all this ugliness set off by selfishness and fear by both of them, only one person will get most affected by all this and that is Sofia.

So today, i am  cheering for only one team. And i sincerely hope we can all handle the coming episodes especially 12x22 which lead star Ellen Pompeo mentioned in a tweet :

"What @JessicaCapshaw won't tell you is how she intends to rip your hearts out in episode 1222....that's all I'm going to say"

In the promo for next episode, both seem to be campaigning their old time friends to witness for them. This doesn't seem likely. Why would their friends even take sides between them? That would be too depressing.

So let's hold on tight.

Whatever happens, I am Team Sofia all the way.

As for Callie and Arizona, they need to shape up. They need to get their act together and  see the light and mend their ways..and do whatever is best for their little lovely Sofia.

Till the next heartbreaking Greys ep.

Twitter:

@GAFan8

Moments

Calzona Review 12x19 "It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)"

We were not meant to be surprised. We knew it was coming. BTS pics of the courthouse were everywhere. But then this ep surprised me and left my heart bleeding.


In my mind, this episode presented a lot of parallels and juxtapositions. As if trying to impress in my mind: this is how Calzona could have been, but were not and are not.


Backtrack to Season 7 Africa talk


It was an all too familiar situation with Callie again being the girlfriend of someone who got a prized grant. Remember Arizona and the Carter Madison grant that brought her to Malawi? Yep. Same situation but this was to be for at least a year, not three years.


However similar the situation was, we saw how different the reactions and actions were.


Back then,  Callie was so much against Arizona's going to Malawi and leaving her and their fairly blooming relationship in Seattle. She had even shared then in season 7 that if she were given the same grant, she would not go. Because if we really know Calliope, she is an all-for-love woman. Her priorities ladder usually has love on the top rung.


Back then, the situation was, Arizona was dead set on the grant. She was all set to go. No consultations. She was all set to save lives in Malawi.


Callie did not miss out on letting her objections known with bits and pieces of  whining. She didn't want to be left behind for three years by the woman she loved. For Callie, love is THE priority. So it ended up with Callie impulsively deciding to fly to Africa with Arizona. She dropped everything and gave notice to the hospital the next day, about her sudden plans to exit and join her girlfriend in Africa.


Fast forward to present day. 

Penny's decision day for the grant was tomorrow. Penny told Callie that she wouldn't be accepting the grant without talking to Callie about it first. Yes it was a great opportunity for her career advancement but she needed to consult Callie. That's respect. She wanted to talk to her girlfriend about it first. Because she respects and loves Callie that much.


Callie was obviously touched by this gesture. She liked being asked first on such  career decisions that involved separation for a year. She liked the regard that Penny had for her. But she did wait to be asked.


Of course, Penny, who seems to be sensible enough, did not attempt to even ask Callie to go with her. She was not presumptuous enough that Callie would drop her job, be separated from her kid, only to go with her to New York.


Callie responded back lovingly.


She was all about the "moments" missed. She was being a sugar-coated romantic all of episode 19.


That Penny missed the "moment" to ask her if she wanted to go to New York with her, "It would have been nice to have been asked"


Where Callie had feigned enthusiasm when she decided to go to Malawi with Arizona and was already "ruining" the Malawi trip by her pretend eagerness, the situation with Penny was different. Callie was all supportive and even had told Penny how this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and she wouldn't be one to stop her girlfriend from career advancement.


Remember when Arizona met Callie at the supply closet and showed her the trinkets that her patients gave her for her trip? Callie did not hide her sarcasm and her hesitation about Africa was just plain transparent.


In contrast, Penny and Callie were inside the same supply closet when Callie told Penny about missing the "moment". 'It would have been nice to have been asked."


Penny of course was overwhelmed by this unexpected gesture from Callie and said these loving words: "you are the most adorable woman i have seen right now"


And it ended up being a sweet loving kissing scene. I didn't bother counting the seconds but the kisses were all too sweet and lingering. Something we had not seen Calzona do in a very long time.....


And in the middle of this intimate moment, as if to give us a shattering slap on the face, who else would come into the closet looking for a  suture kit, but Arizona, the ex- wife.


Callie was too embarrassed as she was caught by her ex-wife kissing her new girlfriend. As for me, i was looking for a trace. Any minute trace that Arizona was bothered or even hurt or jealous upon seeing this. But nope. Arizona was okay. She took it in stride. She and Callie were even laughing about it as if it were a simple laughing matter.

From this i could presume that Arizona had completely moved on. Gone were the days when she was initially bothered or maybe a little jealous when Callie had dates. The adjustment stage is over. She had already dipped her toes in the dating pool and she had truly moved on.


I'm not a Penny-Callie shipper but i am a hopeless romantic and who would not be carried away by the loving display of affection that these two had at the supply closet? Hurts to think, this is a scene I've long wanted Callie and Arizona to have. Hurts to think how ironic it was that Callie and Arizona were in that same supply closet, talking about a similar grant that involves relocation, but it was a scene that was not at all sweet. Callie was sarcasm-filled and obviously not agreeable to the trip to Africa.


With Penny, she was loving, sweet, and concerned for her career advancement.


The difference is palpable.


Funny how Shonda gave us a girlfriend of Callie's who is not easy to hate. Someone who is not annoying. In fact, she is a pleasant kind of character. And she loves Callie so much and is touched by Callie's sweetness. We know for sure how Callie can be  expressive of love and she does drop everything for love.


Aside from the fact that it was cute to see Callie confide in Arizona, funny too that it seems Arizona was key in giving Callie the final push to make her decision to move to New York with Penny.


Arizona: That doesn't mean that it has to be over. Long distance relationships are not impossible.


Callie: Yeah i don't know if we can survive long distance. I'm so afraid that it'll all fall apart.


Little did she know that by giving support to Callie such as telling her to "decide you want it to work and make it happen", that Callie would take it a bit too far.


They ended this repartee with Arizona calling Callie aside and suggested next time about doing their thing in an on call room or a lock on the door. It was so refreshing seeing them chuckle with one another. In just those three seconds of chuckles, there was so much chemistry between these two. I had to repeat watching that scene because it is such a joy seeing them laugh with each other, even if it was about Callie's sex with another person.


The grant was a once in a lifetime opportunity. It didn't really cross Penny's mind to invite Callie. Maybe she guessed it was too much to expect Callie to drop everything, fly to New York with her and settle there for at least a year. Callie's profession would be paused or altered and Penny wasn't selfish. She was going to be sad without Callie but she isn't selfish.


However, Callie was clearly disappointed that Penny didn't even ask her to go with her. Penny was also thinking of Callie. This same girl who initially did not want Penny to meet her child yet, it was unlikely that she would even go with her to New York.


But she was wrong about Calliope.


In the new scene at the aftermath of lovemaking, a  scene of Penny and Callie that was too intimate for words, I wanted to cover my ears when i heard Penny compliment Callie's skills, and how they did "teamwork".


Calzona was rarely that intimate.


I must say that this love scene aftermath was one of the most intimate and loving ones. It is hard not to be touched when your heart is carried away by the love that these two characters share.


And then the Callie "moment talk" came up again. Callie , in the heat of the moment, asked Penny to ask her to come to New York with her because it seemed at that moment, she would do anything for Penny and would go anywhere for Penny.


Penny had her own expectations: "You never asked me to stay"


But Callie loved her too much to ask her to stay.


"This is the beginning of a whole new adventure for you. I can never ask you to give that up. I love you too much."


Penny summarized the highly charged emotional moment, "I love you and you love me. And now i need to go all across the country to save lives, which sounds noble like in some movie...actually, It just really sucks"


Such was the love being shown on screen between these two, which i wish Calzona had for each other.


Penny had tears. She was too touched by all this display of love. And i was too. I was seeing again, after a long time, the immense capability for love of one Callie Torres.


It just breaks my heart endlessly that the object of this great love right now, was not Arizona.


In that moment, Callie had made a decision. Spurred by love, maybe even by the romance that had just transpired, Callie was all 'to hell with everything. Im going all in for love.'


Expected from our Callie Torres. A true hopeless romantic. A poster child for romance. (Makes me wonder though if she truly is doing this because she loves Penny for Penny or if she is just in love with the feeling of being in love. Or maybe she is just in love with love itself.)


Alas, she might have forgotten, in all this romantic frenzy, that she has a child. And she shares that child with her once'-wife.


And relocating, putting her career and life on hold for the love of her life, was her next step.


"Ask me, go ahead ask me."  Her mind was set.

 
Even if Arizona seemed to have given Callie the final push to decide to go with Penny, what Arizona didn't expect was that Callie had included in her plans, taking Sofia with her to New York. Something Arizona didn't expect.


When Callie spoke to Arizona about the grant, not even considering how Arizona will feel, and just assuming that it's okay with Arizona to just be the visiting mom, dropping by for Sofia every weekend as it was "only a 6 hour trip", it all felt presumptuous.


I understand Callie's heart-over-mind attitude. She'll go all out for love. She drops everything for love, as we have seen her when her girlfriends need to relocate, that she's willing to go with them wherever they go. But maybe, just maybe, she may even be more in love with the idea of love.


If we remember right, just a few episodes ago, Penny told her "i love you" yet she did not say it back. She was not ready for Sofia to know Penny.


Seeing her reactions as she had her sweet convos with Penny in this episode, it seems she was tickled pink by the sweetness and romanticism of the moment. And this may have  led her to decide to relocate, failing to consider that this will reduce time and space between Sofia and her other mother.


In the scene where we saw Sofia running to meet Callie and Penny, I felt for Arizona.


I could feel her fear, her impending loneliness, i could feel her heart ache. She had already lost her wife, her life partner, and now she was going to be separated from the daughter that she loves?  Without any consultation?


Bad enough that she had no partner, she seems to be over that, but upon learning that Callie was seriously considering leaving  Seattle to be with Penny and taking Sofia with her, that was too much for her to take.


And as if this episode had not had enough of hurting us, after seeing Japril's talks with their respective lawyers about a child custody face-off, this unexpected scene unraveled:


April's lawyer was talking about how a custody battle will be hard. That "you loved this person once. There's a child involved. The one thing that all custody battles have in common is that they are always a battle. No matter what, even if you win, you will still feel like you lost something. So are you sure this is a battle you want to fight?"


And then we discover that nope, the lawyer wasn't talking to April. And then my heart was smashed to smithereens with Arizona's words:


"My ex-wife wants to move across the country and take our daughter, so, yeah."


Suddenly, all the happy Calzona moments, the laughing, fun moments are going to be reduced to an ugly custody battle drama? The progress that they have reached, being friendly co-parents to Sofia and even sometimes-love-confidantes, all that is going to be smashed to bits because of this relocation thing?


Whatever happened to our hopes of reconciliation? That trust in the journey? A custody battle, minus the bts pics, was never one that we would have expected from our most beloved couple.


Seems like Greys Anatomy wanted to hurt us. And this episode truly did. Bulls eye.

This episode had all elements to seriously injure an avid Calzona fan's heart. Shonda is hurting us.


All the parallels, of how this relationship with Penny seemed to be a tad more intimate; the lingering sweet scenes, the issue with the grant and how Callie's present attitude about it was way different back then, of how well they were able to work it out and even professed real love to each other, vis a vis memories of how Arizona's Africa trip spurred Callie's whiny sarcasm and how she ruined it for her and eventually led to their break up.


It hurt.


For the faint Calzona heart, this could mean hope seems distant. Not only is Callie professing love to her girlfriend, she is even willing to drop everything and did not even consider Arizona's sentiments about it.


But she did say they were going to talk about it and that is what they should do.


Arizona was quick to jump the gun, checking on the possibilities and getting ready for a custody battle. We should never discount the fact that Arizona has treated Sofia as her very own daughter since birth. She has told Callie " She calls me Mama....I'm her Mama". It is a very sensitive and valuable topic for Arizona and it was never really a factor in the Calzona story, about  who was the birth mother. Sofia is equally the daughter of both Callie and Arizona and since it was never really clear if they ever got the adoption papers finalized, it was never a question of who was more of a mother to Sofia.


So the assumption of Callie in that scene, that she will be taking Sof with her without consulting Arizona was a bit off. But we cannot judge Callie for being inconsiderate. It may be an impulsive decision on her part, propelled by love emotion, but she did say they will talk about it so let us wait and see what will come out of their talk.


As we saw in the new sneak peek, the awaited dialogue happened and we cannot take sides. Both are rightful parents. They need to listen to one another and work it out. Because the only one who can lose much here, is Sofia.


These are very dim days for Calzona. I did not expect that their separation will stretch for all of S12. But with 5 episodes to go, i am wont to think that they may be part of the finale cliffhanger.


Being a Calzona fan takes faith. Lots of faith. And strength. And trust in love.


These are truly dark days but that flicker of hope remains. The faith in this lost love, waiting to be found again, must be kept alive.


This journey is the hardest ever yet, but i equate the word Trust to Shonda Rhimes. So i remain trusting.


We root for Calzona and so does Shonda. She said so.


I'm staying on this journey and trusting it as we see this show through Season 13, where i hope that the reconciliation happens, finally.


Most beautiful things are not achieved easily.


So in this struggle, always remember that the most beautiful things come from the darkest of times.


Keep the faith.


Always Calzona Strong.


Twitter:


@GAFan8